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The exotic tales of a pink skunk and a cucumber, Chapter 76 |
| Written by Esoid Elvoniche | |
| Wednesday, 25 June 2008 | |
The stormy night made the skunk restless and uneasy. The ship bounced up and down, then down and up, the crashing waves spraying heavy mist aboard the ship. The skunk was at the bow trying to snatch the fishes that popped up with the waves. One tiny bloopy fish managed to spring right into his hands. The tiny bloopy fish jumped like a fish out of water and cried in a cute poor child's high pitched squeak. "Oh pweese Meester, Dont eat me." The tiny fish squeeled. "Its my birfday and-- "Oh its your birthday is it?" the skunk interjected. "Here then, happy birthday." The skunk dangled the fish next to his ass and farted, then tossed it back into the ocean.
The storm went on well into the night. Lightning lit up the pitch black ocean sky every few minutes like a camera in the dark. The skunk was atop the watchtower trying to get a better view of the lightning. He was contently chewing on a condom he had found stuck in a fishes mouth as he gazed up into the pouring rain waiting for more bursts of light--clapping like a mentally unstable dolphin every time. The skunk started to hum an old lullaby his gradmama once sang to him when he was just a little skunk sperm in his fathers tender crotch. Then the skunk noticed the clouds started to jumble an Irish jig across the sky. His eyes widened as he slowly stopped the hum and spat out the rubber. Now the clouds were beginning to form a spiral not unlike a galaxy. "A glorious galaxy of puff, a wad of cotton candy being stirred for me to be put into a cone at the carnival of lost panda penises," the skunk thought to himself, and giggled. A second later the skunk saw a tiny speck fly out of the cloud's newly formed *******... and it appeared to be headed straight for him. The skunk's eyes widened more just before they started to squint, and as the UFO got closer, he was able to make out something with two round ears. It was riding something too, it looked like a log, or a separated member, or... or a cucumber? And as it got closer, "Oh, oh OK," the skunk thought. "it is a koala, and it IS riding a cucumber--" There was a crash and then darkness. The skunk could only hear the waves crashing up against the ship before his mind slowly faded away from reality and gently crumpled into itself... and then with a sudden PLOP, it imploded into a sausage.
Psst.. hey ... hey over here.. Where?.. Over here! I cant see its too dark! Right hear, stupid! Oh, hey, what is it. I have to tell you something. its a secret... swear to god you wont tell anybody? Yes. Alright then.. well.. I eat babies... Oh really?.. Yes... but only certain kinds of babies... Really? what kind... I only eat my FRIENDS babies!... Scoundrel! you told me it was a dingo...
The skunk looked at his watch, the numbers were jumbled. He brought it closer to his face. It was quarter past Santa's uterus... The skunk was in an old grimy New York subway. "Damn 15." The skunk thought. "It was spossed to be here at half past ten. This darn thing is never on time!" the skunk cursed. Then there was a clank coming from the cracked cement above. It was the skunk's grandma being slowly lowered from a zip-line. She stopped, just hovering above the ground. She was dressed in a military uniform. "Grandma." The skunk said. What are you doing here? Don't you know you're dead?" "Yes," she said, glum. "But Mercuries moons are aligned with Pluto's satellites! It's the stars, my grandskunk, they're shimmering like massive dumbells!..." and with that, her face melted into a black shroud of rosie thorns as she was slowly pulled back up into the ceiling by the zip-line. "Hey," the skunk heard someone say behind him. He turned around. It was that koala riding that flying cucumber. He got off and bopped the skunk one good on the skull. The skunk took a step back. The koala zonked him one again, and before he could he raise his hand for a third, the skunk dropped down into the fetal position and mumbled, "Please don't bazonk me again, Mr. koala. I give up, my luscious body is yours. Do with it as you will. The koala bazoonked the skunk again. This time the lights turned on.
It was a calm morning. The storm was long over. If they were close to land, you could've heard those calming beach sounds of seagulls overhead. The koala stood over the dazed skunk, vegetable in hand. "Hello," the koala said. "Im a koala, and this is my cucumber, Zucchini."
To be concucumbered... spurred flirt... i have psychedelic problems.. big bright lemons in the sky... no problem of mine Copyright 2008 Esoid Elvoniche |
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