She sits all alone in a cold dark room

Feelings of sadness, feelings of doom

Thinking she's nothing,

Feeling much pain

Knowing in life, she's got nothing to gain

No one to hold her

No one who cares

No one to tell her

She'll always be theirs

Head in her hands

Tears running freely

Dripping and dripping

Her soul's lost all feeling

Battered and torn

Feeling ugly and worn

She'll sit here forever

Wishing she'd never been born

Keyword: she

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Comments (11)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-06-24 18:14:50 .... really good poem! i could really feel all the sadness and depression. although i kept thinking about your character in your other story as i was reading this. did you mean for this to be a poem about her??? + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-24 19:04:54 .... Kind of. I wrote this after I wrote Amanda's Freedom so I guess that character was still in my mind when I thought about this poem. + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-06-24 20:23:40 very good My goodness...somebody needs a hug...lol. This was a really good poem of dispair that someone might feel. I read into this that she was a battered woman...I guess your saying right now,,a duh. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-24 20:31:30 no 'duh' needed actually I wasn't thinking of her being battered. I was drawing from a depression, feeling of hopelessness place instead of physical injury. Thanks for the comments guys. =] + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-06-24 23:05:59 .... I liked it. It flowed well and you phrased it just right. Sometimes I like to hold myself and cry when I'm waiting for my tv dinner to heat up. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-25 11:30:46 crying and tv dinners... you crack me up. I think I'd cry too though if I was eating tv dinners lol + Report this comment
Posted by flossy 2008-06-28 13:59:30 .... Reminds me of allmine stuff.I know it's the wrong word to use but I enjoyed this.I think I need a hug.Anybody...please... + Report this comment
Posted by soulwriter 2008-06-28 19:24:16 .... This is a very good poem, an accurate poem, a well-expressed insight into the patterns of thought that lead to depression. One problem "feelings of doom" - "doom" is too heavy a word for depression, although it fits to an extent, it sticks out a little. Maybe replace it with "gloom" or something else along those lines. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-28 23:18:30 .... I agree with the above statement. However, it seems she doesn't have feelings of doom, to me I feel she is experiencing doom. Afterall, she seems to be at her lowest, as if her circumstances couldn't get any lower. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-28 23:22:00 .... I used 'doom' because she is past just feeling depressed. Her soul is empty, so she's not feeling like there's too much to live for. but thanks for the comments =] + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-08 06:18:09 .... Oh my, this same title as my Poem, but you wrote yours first. Now I want to go and change mine. Nope, I'm too lazy. This was pretty cold, short, and to the point. I like that. Reading the comments makes me wonder where the hell Flossy has run off to. Great work, Lemon O' Lime Keep well + Report this comment

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