Clouds are forming

The rain falls

The thunder's rolling

The lightning calls

A war beckons

With the battle cries

You're not sure

If you'll make it out alive

But God is on your side

You can win the fight

There's peace in the middle of the trial

There's joy in every circumstance

No matter what you are going through

You can make it

Just count them all joy

Keyword: Trials of Joy

Report this story | Add to Favorites | Send to Friends | Author's Profile

No Comments posted

Comments (8)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-06-23 21:49:22 .... it started off good but then in the middle and end it just kinda fell apart for me. i think i could see where you were trying to go with it..... but i think maybe you should have thought it through maybe a little bit more. but hey, that's just my opinion. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-23 22:02:09 .... I thought it was good, but too short. You started off with some good imagery then went on to make statements. I get what you are saying here, God is with you during trials, but I think you should have kept the imagery going throughout. =] ..and remember the spellcheck :) + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-06-24 00:33:41 .... Not bad. This line needs fixing: 'You can win fight'. + Report this comment
Posted by novel.idea 2008-06-24 20:20:36 .... I like the poem. Some of your grammar is wrong and I can be more specific about that if you would like. + Report this comment
Posted by rtvols344 2008-06-26 08:55:21 .... Please do! I really would like to become a writer....but I am not there yet, so PLEASE if anyone sees something I missed up on PLEASE tell! + Report this comment
Posted by ThatPsycoArtistFletcher10 2008-06-26 16:42:18 .... Lol my grammar is crap. BTW i liked this one too you never struck me as a poet Robyn. + Report this comment
Posted by novel.idea 2008-06-29 12:52:13 .... It should be 'And the battle cries' but I'm not really sure if 'And' is the best word there; I'm not really sure what that line means. Do you think that 'With' might be better there? It should be 'You're not sure'. That's all I saw. I like the meaning of the poem. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-07-04 17:55:50 .... This is okay. One spelling error I found, "Lighting" is "Lightning". + Report this comment

Post a comment

Post a comment