The night sky brought forth

The shining stars

We looked upon them

And kissed them all

Until we're blind

And our lips were

Tired...

We marveled

At the white moon

Gleaming brightly above us

After we made love on the field

We were like wraiths

Reveling in the night

But haunting no one

We were

Secret lovers

I don't want to go

Into this trance anymore

For we made ourselves mad of this

I don't want to be

Mad forever

For I had enough of this curse

I bring this curse back to you

Go share it

With somebody else...

Keyword: moon stars night trance

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Comments (10)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-06-22 22:45:59 .... for me, it was a bit difficult to follow. but i did like parts of it. + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-06-23 02:14:14 .... Until we're blind should read 'we were' Other than that, I like this! I have no idea what its about, but it has a strange haunting rhythm that appeals to me + Report this comment
Posted by garyowen 2008-06-23 03:37:51 .... It evoked great imagery. i felt it had magic mushrooms or similar happening. who cares, long live imagination. good poem + Report this comment
Posted by June Eclipsis 2008-06-23 06:40:44 ... It was kind of inconsistent. I liked it, of course. Though I have almost no idea why. However, the wording wasn't really uniform, as the beginning of each stanza started with a beautiful phrase and then suddenly ended with normal, common ways of word usage. Yet, for some reason, this story is very intriguing. I give you a five for that. All poems and stories have their faults, even the best ones. So, if I liked it, why not rate it high? :) + Report this comment
Posted by gore_and_blood 2008-06-23 09:11:10 .... thank you for your comments! i'm glad you like the poem and that you didn't know what it's about... for those who asked, it's a break-up poem. + Report this comment
Posted by gore_and_blood 2008-06-23 09:14:18 explanation for the poem it's about enjoying someone special's company but wanting to cut it out. + Report this comment
Posted by Hodders 2008-06-23 11:37:39 .... Very good, seemed very sinister to me! I liked it a lot, especially the last stanza which seemed to stand out for me. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-07-04 18:05:47 .... Okay. I'm not too keen on writing, or reading, poetry without punctuation, however, with the unique format the poem was easy to read. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-07 04:56:35 .... A litte different, but still a great work of Poetry. It was easy to tell what this Poem was about. It flowed a little rough, but it still got out clear. But umm.... 'in to' is one word. 'into.' you might wanna fix that. + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-09-17 11:32:20 Cursed trance Good take on wanting out of an obsessional love. Or should "out of" be one word? Harmattan + Report this comment

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