HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH PROPER DIET.

Many people in America wish to lose weight so the S.I. team is heeding those desperate calls. Now a lot of experts will tell you that eating right and exercising is the proper way to diet. Well that's just not true folks.  The easiest ways have been daunted with heavy criticism and have sadly even been labeled as diseases. That's right: Anorexia and Bulimia are the sure-fire ways to losing weight quick and easy. There have been a lot of comedy situations surrounding these methods but let us assure you that we are not joking. Anorexia and bulimia are two easy and convenient ways to rid yourself of excess fat. But don't take our word for it. Read these testimonials and decide for yourself.

"I haven't eaten anything in over a week and I lost twenty pounds *snap* just like that! Thank you anorexia."

Johnathan Mills-Los Angeles, California.

"I'm eating all of my favorite foods at the same time, losing weight, and loving it! Bulimia you truly are a miracle diet."

Sarah Hedges-Orlando, Florida

"You mean alls I have to do is throw up after I eat and I can lose 10 pounds? Say all you want about trauma and mental illness. Bulimia I love you."

Jennifer Spitz-New York, New York

"Someone please tell my sister to brush her teeth. But also to keep up with that diet cuz she looks great!"

Andy Dawes-Boulder, Colorado

"I feel so hungry......and yet, so fabulous!"

Dennis Yeits-Tucson, Arizona

That's right bulimia and anorexia work! If you don't believe us go ahead and try it for yourself. You'll be fitting into you're old prom dress or football uniform in no time! Are your children slightly pudgy? Perhaps the dog? Don't just sit there trying methods that won't work instantly. Make your dog throw up! Starve your children! It's just that easy.

Keyword: weight loss diet excercise advice advertise

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Comments (19)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-22 20:42:36 haha i could see this as an info commercial, but i think that was what you were trying to do. it was pretty funny. i think you meant to write "I'm FEELING so hungry ... and yet, so fabulous!" right? All in all it made me laugh a few times. especially the last paragraph, that was the best. Make you dog throw up! Starve your children! Its just that easy. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-22 20:43:18 oh yeah funny funny funny picture + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-23 12:31:53 .... interesting. i always thought that a life of being made fun of and being called "piglet" was a great weight loss tool too. oh it also helps if your significant other pinches your fat every once in awhile too. haha. + Report this comment
Posted by allmine 2008-06-23 13:00:22 .... This is a funny story..and I love the infomercial feel of it. + Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-06-23 17:24:36 ... Hilarious, Hehe Spitz. It did have the testimony of the infomercial though. Keep it up. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-24 16:03:55 .... All that advice for just $19.95! Act now and we'll throw in a FREE barf bucket for the bulemics! you forgot that part hehe! + Report this comment
Posted by ams 2008-06-24 21:17:56 .... all of your pieces have a twisted side to them but they're wicked hilarious and i always look for them. this is a great piece of comedy. i also love the title "How to lose weight and make friends" + Report this comment
Posted by topsyturvywords 2008-06-25 14:33:03 .... sounds like an add.yeah right. HAHA.it's like a reader's digest cover with all the good publisher's testimonials.it's humurous though.good job.love the picture very comical.LOL + Report this comment
Posted by flossy 2008-06-26 07:35:55 .... Recently went to the states.Reminded me of a commercial.A bit icky but good job. + Report this comment
Posted by fevilleg 2008-07-01 21:41:55 nice this is truly wonderful satire. I can totally imagine some has been celebrity touting this efficient way of losing weight. great story considering i just recently wrote about struggling with weight myself. + Report this comment
Posted by eternalsunshine 2008-07-02 09:38:26 .... This is amusing and I actually wanted more - I think maybe you should add more. If its an infomercial, it should have something specific to sell - like a book or tape that tells you exactly what to do as an anorexic or bulimic. Also, for consistency's sake, bulimia and anorexia go back and forth between being capitalized and uncapitalized. I don't think it needs to be capitalized + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-07-04 13:12:02 hmm its easy for you to make fun of because youve never had to go through anyhthing like that before... youre a fucking bastard.. do you know how many people in america die because of the disease... me neither.. but i think ive seen this parody somewhere... but the product reactions were funny enough + Report this comment
Posted by elenalda 2008-07-04 22:31:30 .... I don't find this funny or interesting, but that's me. If I felt like you were seriously interested in improving your writing, I would add tips, but I think the fact that this is a serious letdown after some hardcore praise would make you less interested in hearing my writing suggestions. + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-07-05 01:24:22 .... I'm sorry you feel that way. I just write stuff that I think is funny. Of course not everyone is going to agree with me...though I am always open to suggestions. As long as they seem like they'll make a piece funnier, sharper, or more coherent. How can you just give up on me like that? I feel so abandoned. I guess we just have different senses of humor. + Report this comment
Posted by indianaman130 2008-07-06 01:48:42 .... Some people don't know what dry humor, or cynical humor is all about. I love it when someone uses his rights of expression to entertain no one but himself. And the few other sick F****R's around here, may we all go to Zombies special hell. + Report this comment
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