The kings reign shall end now

For he has brought to much grief

He stole my brother like a thief

They came in our home and stabbed him dead

Now he'll pay for the blood he shed

Every man in the village shall help

To destroy the cretin this infadel this welp

We'll take him down to the river side and pelt him with stones until he dies

It is unforgivable how he thrives while his villagers starve and die...

Keyword: Young Cruelty

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Comments (5)

Posted by brandon_scott 2008-06-20 14:16:09 .... I'm not sure about this one. I take it the peasants are angry with the king? In my own opinion, this would read well as a short story, with some background and some description thrown into it. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-20 14:48:38 .... Its 'okay', i like how it tells a story, but i feel that you could have made it longer. the last two lines ruined the poem for me, they just didnt flow well. + Report this comment
Posted by Amatayo 2008-06-20 17:30:00 Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh personally I did not like it and for me it seems like the poem I wrote called revolution but hey I wrote poems because I got inspired by another so im not trippin but the writer could of done better. But to the writer we all have off days so don't worry about it. I have a couple of poems that I really don't like and then others I do so keeps going. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-07-04 20:57:00 .... Pretty good. I would have made it more into a story and played it out, like describing the incident where his brother was killed, or being more specific and descriptive of the atrocities that are happening in the village. + Report this comment
Posted by 2008-07-23 20:34:39 .... This seems like a story. So, there is a croel king. But why did the king kill your brother only. There must be some reason. But if it was mindless killing, it is about time the villagers showed him that they were the true king for bourgeois hold true power. + Report this comment    + Delete this comment

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