My Present

I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...

The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

Neverlife


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Written by Matt   
Thursday, 19 June 2008

 Author's Note: I redid this story, and added another part. The fight scene is a lot longer too.

 

"Jake, you know as well as I do that there is no stopping Chad," I said, as we picked out weapons from a trade-in store.

"You can stop him, Matt. So can I, and if we call Brenden we can wipe Chad off the face of the planet," Jake argued.

"Jake! There is no possible way. He's too strong!! Face it! If he starts the ritual the world will be sucked into hell itself. Trey can get sacrificed for all I care, after all he did try to kill me and you," I snickered. "The world is done!"

Chad had gained so much power form killing Nik and draining Alan's power. Alan was a mortal and Nik was dead. Chad was like the enemy we couldn't beat.

When we got to the cave we put the weapons away and made lunch.

"What are you doing here Brenden?" I asked, furaited.

"Jake called me and said there was a big evil dude to kill."

"Jake! You said you could call Brenden! But you did it anyway! I told you already there is nothing we can do!" I exploded.

"Jake is that true?" Brenden asked.

"No! We can desrtoy Chad" Jake shouted.

"Fine Jake, I'll cut you a deal. We'll go and fight Chad. We'll die but sure we can go," I said.

"Do you mean it?" Jake asked.

"Yea," I sighed

That night we geared up and went to the town square, where Chad had biult an enormous sky-scraper.

"Well, well, well! Big bad Matt and his gang of loosers came to die." Chad shouted from a hudge metal beam.

"Lets go," I shouted.

Chad had a tendency to really tick me off and now that he was 50,000,000 times stronger than me he was about to get a face full of fist. Chad jumped down from the beam. He swung at me and I punched him in the side of the head and kneed him in the stomach. I grabbed his head and swung him to the ground, I stomped his face. He grabbed my foot and pulled me to the the ground, before he could hit me I leapt over him and gave him a roundhouse kick to the back of his head. Chad quickly got up and punched me in the face and I fell to the ground. I tried to get up but I couldn't.He grabbed my neck and flung me accross the ground like paper. I jumped up and chucked a metal pole at his head. He fell to the ground. I ran to him and picked up the pole and and beat him in the head with it until he stopped moving.

"Now lets go!" I shouted.

We ran up the stairs of the tower and saw Trey bleeding severley.Then the ground shook and a mass of blue and purple energy opened under the tower.

"Get Trey and go back down, Brenden." I shouted.

"Okay,"He shouted over the roar of the portal.

"Matt! How do we stop it?" Jake asked.

"I don't know," I shouted. I turned to the portal and took a step.

"Matt! No!" Jake shouted.

"Jake I have to! Look Jake, one thing I've learned about being a skinwalker is life is hard. You and Brenden keep going out ant night and patroling. Its been fun. You always kept part of me going when things got hard. But I have to go. I'll always be your friend...Jake! My real job is now! Be safe! Bye!" I yelled.

I ran to the ledge of the tower and jumped in. The mass of energy running into my body was painful. And soon my body shut down, and the world was safe again...

The sky was dark and the wolves howled at the full moon. Jake and Brenden were walking through the back woods of the cemetary late at night.

"Are you sure it'll work," Brenden asked, hesitantally.

"I know it will... Tonight... Matt will live again," Jake said.

They walked into a small clearing in the woods, and sat down their stuff. Jake placed down a small vile of a deep red liquid, a big leather book, and a big black candle. Jake spread the red liquid in a circle on the ground and began to chant. His chanting grew louder and louder until his eyes turned coal black and his arms were stretched straight out. The ground opened up and a body was slowly lifted out. It was my body... I was alive again... Jake and Brenden had succeeded in resurecting me!

I fell on my knees and began gasping for air. Jake rushed to my side and helped me up.

"How'd you do it," I began. "How did you get me back?"

"I found a spell that brings the dead back," He said. "Are you okay?"

"Something isn't right... wheres' Brenden?" I asked, sensing that something was very wrong.

"Umm... He was just right here. But he probobally went back to the cave." Jake assured.

"No...," I said.

I took off out of the woods toward the cave. When I got there I went right to my weapons chest and got my axe. As I left I passed Jake.

"Shut up! Follow me." I said, without looking at him.

We walked to the town square. I walked into it and turned to my right.

"Where the hell Is he?" I said.

From the shadows stepped out, Chad.

"What I don't even get a hello?" Chad laughed.

"What the hell did you do with him." I demanded.

"Oh! The kid with the power of Cerberus. He is my key. I hope you aren't gonna..." Chad said, before I chopped his head off. Jake and I rushed up the tower and untied Brenden. It was already too late. As we turned the portal opened... Brenden ran to the ledge and jumped in..

"Brenden!!" Jake screamed.

Brenden had saved the world... It will always remain a mystery why he did it, but he did it...



Copyright 2008 Matt
Keyword: Neverlife
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Comments (8)
Posted by D.A. Ross
2008-06-19 21:01:35
imagine this

Great imagination.

Found a few mistakes you may want to edit.

"Jake called me and said the was a big evil dude to kill." Should that have been a there

instead of the?

Missing word.

"you could call Brenden! Not____ you already called Brenden!"

Repeated word.

"I ran to him and picked up the pole and and beat him in the head."

?

"You and Brenden keep going out ant night and patrolling."

With an imagination like yours, through time you will become a good author.

TY
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Posted by nick711
2008-06-20 09:21:22
....

This was a pretty confusing tale. But I have to ask how Chad went down so quickly? He was 50,000 times stronger than Matt and they killed him so easily. I would have liked a little bit more backstory to further develop the characters, so this could have been done in parts, but I enjoyed reading it. One more thing, in the beginning, they were looking through weapons to take and fight Chad the first time and then they just take him on man-to-man? Ah well, it was good. Very imaginative.
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Posted by Midnighthowl15
2008-06-20 10:25:33
...

No. In the begining they were just looking for weapons. Matt didn't want to even go fight Chad. He knew somebody would die. He just didn't want to get involved.
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Posted by Midnighthowl15
2008-06-22 12:01:37
....

anybody think i should change the title???
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-06-22 18:31:47
....

Yeah you could change it to something more fitting for the story. This was a definite improvement over the original.
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Posted by midnighthowl15
2008-06-24 15:05:26
...

I changed it but it still doesn't seem right... any suggestions...
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Posted by Rockman383
2008-06-25 20:42:00
....

why don't u just change the entire story. This one is really kind of boring. Find something else to do. The title is really irrelavent to the story too.
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Posted by midnighthowl15
2008-06-25 20:57:59
....

not the kind of suggestions i mean. Any other good helpful suggestions?
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 22 June 2008 )
 
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