Sitting here in this lonely room,

Senses underwhelmed in the deep, gray gloom;

I take a whiff and immediately assume

That I can smell her sweet perfume.

My head gets dizzy, my vision blurred

I'm unable to get over what's just occurred.

I look around but she's nowhere in sight,

But her scent still hits me with painful delight.

A teardrop rolls steadily down my cheek,

And I stand to leave but my legs are too weak.

More tears now, they begin to stream;

All the while her aroma makes my senses scream.

Caressed by the pleasure, obsessed with the pain,

My tears are now falling like a heavy rain.

Then at once it is gone, was it ever there?

And I notice myself shaking here in my chair.

A faint little trace, like a faraway star

Is all that is left of that painful memoir;

But I'd awake from my death and crawl out of my tomb

To breathe in once more her sweet perfume.

Keyword: Sweet Perfume

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Comments (7)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-17 18:06:00 Nice tone to it You did an excellent job with the rhyming. I quite enjoyed this one. I really dont have any suggestions other than keep up the fantastic work! + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-06-17 18:19:15 .... I agree with Zombie. really great piece. + Report this comment
Posted by Hodders 2008-06-18 10:20:27 Liked it I thought it was great, I liked the last line the best. + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-06-29 17:15:11 .... ahh.. the smell of her sweet perfume. Like your poem. I also like the last two lines the best...sounds like a couple lines I would have written,,,or wish I had written. Nice job + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-07-07 01:23:33 Well................. Heart rending rendition of grief and wanting. Just the kind of thing you don't want to read at the start of a day (like now), but that's the point isn't it? You get to the reader in the way that he/she most wants to keep under wraps. Awesome Phil + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-07-09 20:13:04 .... I think the rhyming and structure was excellent. I am confused by the line: But I'd awake from my death and crawl out of my tomb I'm guessing thats not meant to be literal. Unless this is an undead love ballad. Which would be cool. Nice job man + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-07-09 20:58:13 .... This was really great. I actually felt myself imagining the pain and sadness of a lost love.. My favorite line was 'But her scent still hits me with the painful delight' + Report this comment

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