Room 1135

Day 1 To whom it may concern: That...

Secrets of St. Margaret's

In the early hours of a brisk October morning, two...

3-way # 3


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by jesse   
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
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( Son, It's Time You Became A Man)

Father: Son, your growing up.

Father puts his hand on his seven year old son shoulder'.

Father: And, you have the soul of a warrior.

Son: I do?

Father: You do.

Son: Cool.

Father: Nothing can hurt you, Son, you are God.

Son: Wow.

Father: That's right.

Son: I didn't know.

Father: I didn't want to tell you anything, but I feel like the time is right.

Son: Really?

Father: Yes.

Son: I love you, Dad.

Father: I love you, too. Your such a man ,son, you can take down that blood thirsty bear outside that refuses to leave us alone.

Son: I can?

Father: Son, you have the soul of a warrior, nothing can stop you.

Son: Alright, that bear is dead!

The Son runs out of the cabin to take on the hungry, blood thirsty bear.

Father: I love kids, they're so stupid.

The Father runs off to safety.

- The End-

 

 

 

( Murder!)

A Body lies on the floor.

Detective: Someone killed this woman. there's only four of us here. Butler did you see who committed this murder?

Butler: No sir, I was to busy strangling the hooker.

Detective: What about you doctor?

Doctor: I was to busy, strangling my own.

Detective: ?

Doctor: I was jerking off.

Detective: Ahh. What about you Ms. Humps.

Ms. Mumps: That's Mumps.

Detective: Yes, what were you doing?

Ms. Mumps: I was busy doing crack off a switch blade.

Detective: Well, I didn't see anything. I was to busy strangling this woman. Ah ****.

- The End-

 

 

( TV show: Doctors Facing Racial Issues, ON ABC)

White Doctor pushes the door into the ER

White Doc: I have it worse, because I'm white. And people think I had it easy. And they think I don't like black people.

Black Doctor walks in.

 

White Doc: You scared me, and it's not because your black.

Black Doc: It's harder on me, because I'm black. The man is always holding me down. Everyday I have to work harder then you White Doctor, just so I can pay off my new car, new house, and my new wives breast.

White Doc: You mean wife.

Black Doc: You wish.

Latino Doctor walks in

Latino Doc: Well I have it harder.

Black Doc: He speaks English, or I understand Spanish very well.

Latino Doc: Everyday someone keeps mistaking me for the janitor or the cook.

White Doc: Your not the cook?

Latino Doc: I will cut you.

Asian Doctor walks in

Asian Doc: That's nothing.

Asian Doctor mouths moves, like those bad Kung Fu Movies.

Asian Doc: I have worked so hard, and yet I'm treated poorly. ( Kung Fu Laugh)

Latino Doc: How is he doing that?

Asian Doc: And it's all because I'm Asian. No one can top that.

A Bright Light comes bursting through the door.

Super Doc: Oh yeah.

All Docs: Who can that be?

Super Doc: Well I'm Black, Jewish, and a cripple

All Docs gasp.

Super Doc: And to top it off, I'm a woman.

White Doctor: Yes she is.

All Male Doctors look at her breast.

Super Doc: You make me sick.

 

Announcer: Stay Tune Next week, when we meet THE SUPER LATINO, BLACK, JEW, ASIAN, CRIPPLED, AND MENTALLY RETARDED DOCTOR CORY!

Cory: They let me hold a knife!

 

- The End -

 

 

 

*3-Way Special*

(Jesus For President)

Reporter 1: Jesus, can you fix the economy?

Jesus: I'm Jesus, not superman. Next question

Reporter 2: Jesus, how will you solve the Health Care Crisis.

Jesus: I plan to cure and heal the sick.

Reporter 2: How?

Jesus: hello, Jesus.

Reporter 3: Jesus, whose your running mate?

Jesus: Judas.

All Reporters: Oh, bad choice.

- The end-

 

 

(Did You Hear the News)

 

Male Co-Worker: Did you hear the News!

Female Co-Worker: I did, Chris got Maggie pregnant. Now she want's to have the baby, but he doesn't. And Maggie threaten to tell Chris wife's about what happened. And now Chris is freaking out.

Male Co-Worker: I meant the news, about the new candy machine.

Female Co-Worker: Awesome, have to check it out.

 

The End

 

 

 

http://www.jessenovels.wordpress.com



Copyright 2008 jesse
No Comments posted
Comments (17)
Posted by ams
2008-06-11 15:03:50
....

the first one and the jesus one were wicked funny. they actually made me laugh
+ Report this comment
Posted by sTiCkFiGuRe
2008-06-11 15:06:55
....

Maybe im missing something, but im still waiting for the laughs to come.
+ Report this comment
Posted by ams
2008-06-11 15:10:50
....

ya some of them needed work, but i did like those two
+ Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask
2008-06-11 15:11:54
..

Jesus for president is so awesome.
+ Report this comment
Posted by Flossy
2008-06-11 15:12:15
....

As funny as getting stung on the ass.Not very.
+ Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-06-11 18:08:38
awesome

heheh i read all three of these and they keep getting betters, I'm already craving for the next one. All of them equally made me laugh out loud.

GREAT JOB!!!
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Posted by Inksplash
2008-06-14 23:50:40
...

i liked it.

nice little stories

very funny
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Posted by sTiCkFiGuRe
2008-06-15 07:32:08
....

In regards to the last two comments posted- Are we looking at the same thing? You guys remind me of a two year old(not being disrespectful, just making a point)...but I could simply make a funny face and you guys would probally fall out of your chair laughing hysterically. Guys, its ok to be honest, this site kinda needs it.
+ Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-06-15 07:33:48
Well...

I do admit I have a very sensitive sense of humor. I tend to laugh very easy, but I hope thats a good thing?
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Posted by bellybuttsmack
2008-06-15 20:12:20
Fun Time

Well, sTiCkFiGuRe, I appreciated the humor for its darkness. I do think it's tacky to rate something more than once and try to make people feel guilty for finding humor in someone's work. If you think it's low brow, that's fine, however, Adam Sandler, Jack Black and many others have made millions from it. If you think you can do better, let's see it. Good work, Jesse!
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Posted by sTiCkFiGuRe
2008-06-15 20:34:14
....

Your right,,,humor is as humor does. I mean, people laugh at different things. Whats funny to a child might not be funny to a mature man.

For the record,,,Jack Black was hilarious in Shallow Hal.
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Posted by bellybuttsmack
2008-06-15 20:49:04
....

I do know a lot of "mature men" that like "immature" humor, however, again, it is individual. The important thing is that if something makes you laugh, go with it, why question the reason for you to find it amusing? Age and maturity are just as relative as humor, or, any other emotion, for that case. By saying "not being disrespectful" after an insult, doesn't make it any less of an insult, or make it any more respectful, it's just showing the fact that you realize that you're being disrespectful, but are trying to make yourself feel better about that fact.
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Posted by sTiCkFiGuRe
2008-06-15 21:01:17
....

BRILLIANT!!!
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Posted by strawberrywino
2008-06-16 10:39:31
where's the story

these are jokes not even set up as a story.
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Posted by D.A. Ross
2008-06-16 19:23:47
jokesville.com ?

pretty funny.

TY

But i still like reading stories on storyville.

If i wanted to read jokes, i would go to jokesville.com

Just an observation
+ Report this comment

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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 11 June 2008 )
 
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