TO WHOM IT MIGHT CONCERN (Gambia Oct '08)

It is not all fun being invisible, not all about...

Her Magic Touch, Chapter 1

She's not very attractive. No, that isn't quite...

The Execution


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Written by C.D.Walker   
Monday, 09 June 2008
He opened his eyes and remembered he shared a reality with others. Dreams fading, seemed to slip from his mind like trying to hold sand. Laying there he realized he remembered what it was to be cold. His instincts told him there was some other feeling, some other sensation, opposite of what he felt now, but he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember his name or his mothers face, let alone how he got into this cold, dark, metallic cell, void of any comfort.

Both temples hurt and there was a dull ache in the back of his head. If he could only remember. Noise broke the monotony of silent breathing, a rhythmic sound, a measured beat that grow louder and louder till three faces appeared in the cell door window. Head back into hands he thought his head-ache must be affecting his eyes because no three people could ever look so identical. Identical from uniform to feature he didn’t know what to say let alone think. He heard the door open without looking up and heard that noise again, but this time it was beat-less with no rhythm.

When the six feet stopped dancing in front of him he looking up just in time to hear the pop with the flash of light. The flash brought back a memory. He remembered being beaten, his body and mind being tortured till he escaped all suffering and forget everything. He felt a sharp poke in his chest. He remembered the opposite feeling, the other sensation he was looking for. Crimson flowed down his chest and he smiled at a warmth he would never remember again.

The three clone Gaurdians silently turned and walked back the way they came, their feet echoing a unified march, a rhythmic beat that faded slowly like the warmth faded from the Nameless. Three more identical uniformed men appeared, but these wore the gray of janitors. Quietly and quickly the Nameless removed one of thier own and cleaned the cell of what little warmth it had ever known.


Copyright 2008 C.D.Walker
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Comments (7)
Posted by indianaman130
2008-06-09 19:06:23
....

Just an idea i got for a large story and this is an intro i was pondering so any response and critic is wanted and welcome.

Thanks
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Posted by sTiCkFiGuRe
2008-06-09 20:08:46
good

Executions always have fascinated me. I have a story on the subject as well. Thought the scene was well depicted with your style and delivery. Lethal Injection... they say its humane, but if the victim was someone in my family...I can only hope it hurts like hell...good story. Like to see the long version.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-06-09 21:14:36
....

very good job. i think you did a brilliant job with description and just the whole execution scene. best i have ever read on the actual execution idea. great piece!
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Posted by D.A. Ross
2008-06-12 23:48:52
go for clones

good discription, easy visual.

would like to hear more about the clones.

Is this a futuristic piece?
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Posted by indianaman130
2008-06-13 01:55:13
....

I got scared to death of clones after i read "A Brave New World" by Huxley. Yes it is a futuristic piece and i just posted ch 1.
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Posted by strawberrywino
2008-06-13 20:13:09
why not put the entire story together

i read it backwards then tried to read it properly but i still don't like it. i think its just i'm trying to read it as a whole story and its not rt ?
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Posted by ams
2008-06-13 20:22:37
....

I thought this piece was nicely written and very good descriptions. i also found the plot line quite interesting. i read most of a Brave New World last year, but i didn't like it that much and never finished it. this didn't really remind me of it, but that could be because I didn't finish it.
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 15 June 2008 )
 
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