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Unexisted, Chapter 1 |
| Written by Steph :D | |
| Sunday, 08 June 2008 | |
For example, if I call Rosie, our conversation won't even last one minute. "Well, I have to go," she says. "I have to vacuum," or, "I'm about to go to Jessie's house" or, "I'm watching a movie". Maybe she is doing all of that stuff, but I can still tell that she doesn't really want to hang out with me. This might be starting to sound a little selfish. But it's been lasting too long. Maybe about five days. Jessie is Rosie's other best friend, and I respect that. Jessie and I are friends, too. She likes me and I like her. But let's say that I'm hanging out with Rosie, Jessie, and Janet (Rosie's sister. She's a great person, and it's so fun to hang out with her, but I'm having the problem with her, too). Jessie and Rosie would be talking, and not even pay attention to Janet and I, and Janet and I would just have our own little party. (Not that it's a problem talking with Janet, but it would be enjoyable having a conversation with Jessie and Rosie.) So what I'm trying to say is, Jessie sort of hogs Rosie. They've known each other longer, I know, but it seems that Jessie doesn't want me with Rosie. And Rosie does (or did) like me, but maybe she might not even be able to get ride of Jessie. I just think that Rosie get's kind of hypnotized while with Jessie. And what really frustrates me is, that, Jessie is about two years older than Rosie. She's a little too old to be acting this way. And Rosie complains about her sometimes, too. But that's only three friends. I have a lot more, but usually I don't hang out with them as much during the summer. There's also Vinny, my best guy friend in the world. He is different from everyone else. He's amazing. And Rosie is, too. I usually understand why we can't hang out. There are quite a few reasons. He is a baseball player, and constantly has baseball games and tournaments, he has three older sisters, and usually they have friends over, so it's hard for us to negotiate with them taunting, "Ooh, is that your girlfriend?" And then he's over at other people's houses. He does have friends over, too, but usually he's one of my friends so I can go over and we can all hang out. And that's it. Crazy how there's no one else to hang out with, huh? But there are people, but usually they are really busy, but then there's Amy. She's a really cool person, but when she comes over she is really quiet, and doesn't say or do anything. We do talk sometimes, but it's really, really awkward. So I don't invite her over unless someone else is coming, too.
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The same thing keeps repeating over and over in my head: Nobody loves me, everyone hates me. Guess I'll go to the garden to eat worms. I'm sure this era of loneliness will end sometime. But I can't see the future. I don't know what's going to happen. Copyright 2008 Steph :D |
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| Last Updated ( Sunday, 08 June 2008 ) |
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