In betwEEn tHe edGes: What is your personal best when it comes to drinking? Me personally, on one of the few occasions that I can remember.....It was during a Colts game - I remember having a case of 24 starting from 10am to 10 or 11 at night.

What's your record?

Once, out of a homemade beer bong, I put about ten beers in it and gulped it in like 23 seconds.

Won 50 bucks at a bar for drinking a pitcher in 9.51 seconds.

Could drink anyone under the table.......

TecnoSuperBowl: I enjoy Nattylights on game day at home. It's like cool refreshing spring water with alcohol. Usually a 12 will do it for me.

Jonesing: Ha! Bunch of lightweights. Give me a breathalyzer, and you'll see how much I drink.......

Pfft,

Sheet.......

Some of you may buy the cheap "chugging" beer (which I have done, example; Pabst Blue Ribbon, dumb choice, and that's when buying several 30 cases for like 13 dollars per. - I try to buy the best beer available in both taste and cost); but I have taste buds.....You want the daily consumption of a true alcoholic?

I usually wake up to a tequila sunrise. After I complete the monotonous three S's, I then have the breakfast of champions - which consists of a lot of drink, and very little food: I usually like a nice Yuengling in a tall, clear glass; depending on my mood, I'll have a 16 oz Caucasian, too. Depending on how everything is going, I like to let out my aggression by taking a couple shots at that scum Jack Daniels. I usually get to work on time - and for good reason, which will be revealed soon enough....

The only way I leave my home and go to a job that involves dealing with my co-workers and customers - people whom put me on the brink of suicide on a near daily basis - is my liquor space. You see, while George Costanza looked forward to naps in the sleep space under his desk, I enjoy a nice variety of a dozen liquor bottles, and a mini-fridge full of my two favorite beers, all underneath MY desk. I usually drink the liquor in my tea mug, and the beer.....Well, it's sort of the old-fashioned "sneak one of dad's beers from the fridge into pant pocket and run it into the bathroom" routine. I usually show moderation - in this case - and only have a couple of beers by this method - I don't like chugging, I enjoy tasting my drink.

By lunchtime, I sneak a ton of miniature liquor bottles and some beer. I like to escape my boring reality with a day at the beach.....Along with some more beer, and an egg roll or five. When I do come back to reality I like to meditate by killing a few Nazis - because the only good Nazi is a dead Nazi.

Nothing interesting about the job, or the rest of the day....I come home, I drink some more......I usually down a whole bottle of wine with my dinner - though I will admit that I don't get those near water jug-sized Sangria bottles, wine is something I am adamant about with quality.

Then I go to sleep - alcohol plays no less an important role here, take last night for example; I knocked myself out into a deep sleep after downing 1/3-½ a bottle of Jagermeister.

I'm not in denial - I know it's not smart; but it works, and keeps me in my societal role as John Q. Taxpayer.

Keyword: henry spencer eraserhead alcoholic

Report this story | Add to Favorites | Send to Friends | Author's Profile

No Comments posted

Comments (3)

Posted by Something Indecent 2008-06-09 14:18:47 .... I don't fully understand this. Did you really get this from a message board? It feels like there should be more posts after the last one. That's a lot of booze. I think I would die or shit blood. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-15 12:48:51 .... sounds like some people I know. only instead of having alcohol under the desk, since they are stay at home moms its just in the buffet hutch behind the dinner table or under the bathroom sink in the master bedroom.... + Report this comment
Posted by Webized 2008-06-21 00:45:25 Prisoner A stay at home mom, or a get-up-every-day-at-a-certain-time-and-take-crap-from-people employee? To me, they're both prisons; but some people feel content with one or the other, and the others...Well, the polar opposite of both exremes has been mentioned. + Report this comment

Post a comment

Post a comment