Note: This is my second attempt at humor, so don't be too harsh. Billy is angry at Santa, here's his letter.

Dear Santa,

I know this is weird since I'm writing to you on the 26th, the day after Christmas. Well, I went to the mall and told you I wanted the Red Power Ranger, the snowglobe with the pizza in it, a bike, a new computer, and a cute black cat. But you didn't get me that at all. Who the  **** do you think  you are you fat prick? You gave me a science kit, two shitty goldfish, a backpack with Dora the Explora on it, the ****** dictionary and my favorite (not) the Candyland board game. You cheap ****** ******* bastard. I was a good little kid. I walked old geazers across the street, I picked up other people's dog **** while I was walking their goddamn dogs, I even did a damn paper route. What the **** do you want from me? That ****** Jack across the street got so many toys he can't ****** walk in his house without stepping on one of his presents. He's horrible. I saw him take a **** in the neighbor's mailbox Christmas morning! You ******* ******* piece of cocksucking ****! Now, since you didn't get me the bike, I gotta walk to ****** school, and I got a shitload a blisters on my feet. And since you gave me the Dora backpack, people call me Boots, like I wanna be that ****** up boot wearing no good dirty rotten son of ***** ass monkey! And you didn't even ****** touch the cookies I made or gave any of the carrots to your reindeer. I should take Rudolph and shove him up your ass! You fatass piece of ****. I hope Mrs. Claus dumps you 'cause she deserves better. If you ever try this **** next year you fat ****, I'll light the fire in the chimney so you'll burn and kick all the reindeer in the balls. So, try this again next year. See what happens, I'll kick your fatass. Oh, and by the way, I don't know if I got this out there clearly, but...you suck,

                                                                      From,

                                                                         Little Billy

Keyword: Santa You Suck from Little Billy

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Comments (6)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-02 21:59:40 .... that kid was seriously pissed off. heheh if only somebody ate the carrots! way better than your last attempt at humor my friend + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-02 22:28:21 .... lovely use of the "f" word. yeah... billy's gonna get a bar of soap next christmas. either that or a stocking full of reindeer crap. lol + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-06-03 00:54:54 .... That's wierd that for being such a foul little turd he calls himself little billy. I don't care about swearing but I think this story would be funnier with fewer swears. That way when they are used they stick out more and have a larger affect. + Report this comment
Posted by strawberrywino 2008-06-20 22:35:21 i think it would have been much better with no f words. + Report this comment
Posted by D.A. Ross 2008-06-20 23:01:57 Over Kill I think if Santa read this letter, he would loose all hope of kids ever being nice again, and retire heart broken. Your story would have read the same with less of the profanities. Don’t get me wrong, i liked it and thought it was funny and you did get your point a crossed. But it was over kill. TY + Report this comment
Posted by Midnighthowl15 2008-06-22 12:23:52 .... you deffinetley got funny down!!!! OMG!!! This was hillarious!! LOL!!!LOL!!!LOL!!! I'm still cracking up!!! one question though? ... urggh! Brain fart! never mind. This was hillarious + Report this comment

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