Who loved?  He loved… But love forgot.

Rolling waves between contort the plot.

The bluest of swell and whitest of cap,

Lash toward the trees with most saccharine sap

Like a viol with strings that bend, bow and break,

His heart lie open, beating and awake.

Habitual formation of his days begin,

Building a new cabin, a symbol to shield himself from within.

Gold scintillating every cloud, masking it almost surreal,

Nothing that time or this sumptuous earth could not heal.

Atop a mountain his solitude is in soaring demand,

Contemplative reminiscence she had once touched this land.

Never more will her passion bring prolific harvest to his soil,

All that is annual is not all that be loyal.

Lack of rain, a drought,

He will blame upon her no doubt.

to be continued...

Keyword: Fragmented sentiment mountain cloud

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Comments (10)

Posted by Juda 2008-05-27 20:48:16 ... When I see you have posted something new I am confident that it will move me. You are the most consistent writer I have come across. + Report this comment
Posted by eloquent atrament 2008-05-27 20:50:03 And at this moment... I am at a loss for words. Thanks. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-05-28 09:45:30 .... lovely :) + Report this comment
Posted by gsaracen 2008-05-29 13:22:51 cyrillic script? hi...was trying to read this story..but it shows up as cyrillic script on my comp! admin help? + Report this comment
Posted by eloquent atrament 2008-05-29 13:36:13 hmmm weird. I try to use the same font for all my entries. I'll change it to something else. Thank you for letting me know. + Report this comment
Posted by CliffMitchell 2008-05-31 14:55:04 .... Very spacious, allowing your words to suspend. Great work. + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-06-02 18:27:48 .... An interesting start, though I dont remember ever seeing a 'to be continued' on a poem before. The hint of story, the man living in solitude with a broken heart, is beautifully written and described + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-07-02 19:56:13 Very Good This was wonderfully written. A clear talent is in the house. + Report this comment
Posted by Kasi elaborated 2008-07-03 12:04:54 .... Its "to be continued" because it's been a work in progress for about a year now.. I posted it to kind of motivate me to finish it at the same time, to get feed back and or advice. Thank you everyone for your comments! + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-07 04:21:50 .... kind of confuzed, is this a continuation of 'when we first set on dry land'? (i'm not sure if thats the exact name, though). Even if it wasnt, the poem was still terrific. It had a real, angry vibe to it. + Report this comment

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