******

Brenda told herself one more time to just close her eyes and it wouldn't really be happening when she opened them. She told herself that when she opened her eyes, the pregnancy test on the counter would not be positive. But she knew. She knew that she would still be standing barefoot in the bathroom and still be a pregnant 15 year old girl. Why had she listened to him? He loved her.. Yeah right. She had no doubt at all in her mind that when she told Jared--IF she told Jared, he would be gone quicker than she could say statistic. That's what she was now, like it or not. She was a statistic. She had been one of those girls that let herself be conned into having sex before she was ready with a guy who didn't treat her right and didn't love her. She knew he didn't really love her and she did it anyway. And now look what happened. When she finally opened her eyes again, she sighed as stared at the pregnancy test on the counter just where she had left it. She had to figure out what she was going to do, but first she had to get dressed for school. And when she got home, she would talk about her options with her mom. Sometimes it was good that she had a relationship with her mother.. Just for times like these. She smiled to herself as she walked to meet Jared so she could ride with him to school.. What the heck, she should at least tell him that he might be a daddy whether he likes it or not.

******

Jennifer raised her head, and wiped the vomit from her chin as she stood. There was no more denying what she knew to be true. She was pregnant-- again. Her mother would be furious, not to mention her step-dad. Maybe she would just take care of it herself this time. And after that was done she could make a clean break. Break away from this hell-hole that had an ever tightening grip on her. She was going to be 18 in two months so if she could just keep out of sight for that long, she'd be good to go. They couldn't MAKE her come back here. That ******* would be so pissed if he found out that it happened again. She shook her head just before she felt her stomach lurch again. She turned around and just made it back to the bathroom before she puked again. This was not good. She had to leave and she had to leave now. After she rinsed her mouth she took all of her school stuff out of her backpack and shoved it under the bed. Then she started grabbing clothes and stuffing as much as she could into the bag. Turning her jewelry box upside down and popping the bottom off, she grabbed close to a thousand dollars that she had saved and hidden for just such a time as this and jammed it into the side pocket of the pack and zipped it closed. She took one last glance around the room and one in the mirror before she headed out the door. She wasn't coming back. She wasn't coming back to a place where her own mom didn't believe her about what her sick twisted husband did to her daughter every night.

******

Nora had never been so happy to be feeling nauseous. For the past three years she and Derek had been trying to have a baby. They had been married for 8 years and now finally, it looked like it was going to happen. After years of treatments, injections, and painful procedures, she was having a BABY. She thought that it would never happen. 6 months ago she'd been told she most likely wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Oh how she cried that day! But now, now she felt her stomach start to turn again and she smiled... just before she bent her head to vomit again. She couldn't wait to tell Derek the news! After she had cleaned herself up and got dressed she grabbed the keys to her Toyota and rushed out the door.

******

All three women who had never met each other had two things in common. All just found out they were pregnant and all three would not live to see tomorrow. Jared would hit Nora's car head on just blocks from Derek's workplace when he purposely decided to kill the girl who was "trying to ruin his life" and Jennifer's step-dad found her and strangled her in a sleazy motel room in the next town over. No one survived the head on collision between Jared's vw bug and Nora's Celica, and Jennifer's body was never found. Interesting that because of the discovery of life within each of their bodies, it resulted in the end of their own lives.

Keyword: pregnancy accident

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Comments (13)

Posted by Davesshearer 2008-05-23 16:56:51 .... I prefer a story where a theme shines through the plot. I liked the idea of using three women experiencing a similar event, but I feel you really missed the mark by throwing in a seemingly random occurance and thereby ending the story. One of the great things about writing is that we are in charge of the destiny of our characters and in turn have a responsibility towards shaping an interesting, plausable, and creative story. I feel a story should not just shock someone, but instead force them to analyze what you have written and from that produce an emotive response. Randomness is a dangerous ingredent in unskilled hands. + Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-05-23 17:14:03 .. Oh wow that is messed up, but it is how it happens. + Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-05-23 17:23:37 perhaps I have to disagree with you on this story, it does force you to analyze what is going on even though it may be apparent to some it may not be to others, yes three different situations, in which they find out they are pregnant, and three different reactions to it, confusion and happiness, and finally sadness, than and the reaction of the following events. Yes it may have been a bit early to end the story but it ended it with a reason, in my opinion one person can affect the lives of many. + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-05-24 10:40:11 .... i really liked all the things you did incorporate here. the three girls, with the different emotions on their babies. but i do think you ended this too soon. if you would have went more in depth i think this story could have been alot better for sure. but i do like what you did. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-05-24 11:41:00 .... Thanks to all of you who commented on this story. I got the idea and just started writing and it only took about 15 minutes to finish. I agree it needs work--especially that cheesy ending :). I appreciate your comments and suggestions- thanks! + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-05-24 11:45:24 just as an afterthought.. I think when I do a re-write, I will keep the ending similar to what it is now. I wanted it to be simple--thats why i didnt fidget with it too much initially, but for some reason I'm kind of attached to that ending. :) let me know what you think! + Report this comment
Posted by d.dasgupta 2008-05-28 00:53:15 Fascinated I was absolutely fascinated by the story as well as the narration technique. True, this reads a bit like a logical exercise rather than a sequence of events. But apparently dissimilar characters held together by a single logic, which I might call destiny in your case, can have immense dramatic effect on the reader. I agree with your afterthought, that you should not change the way you finished the story. That's where your technique simply excelled. The story has great analytical power and I for one find this a superb effort. I wish though that you had spent more than 15 minutes on it. + Report this comment
Posted by CELL 2008-05-29 12:14:26 .... Davesshearer (the first commentator) said it better than I ever could; I completely agree with his input. + Report this comment
Posted by topsyturvywords 2008-05-29 13:54:38 .... it's quite unpredictable though i was thinking of an ending that would explain premarital sex... but it's okay lemon can always revised it :) + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-05-30 03:06:52 Three Women A story is a story. It's from someone's imagination and as long as there's a thread of plausibility running through it, it's a decent read. You've set three totally different scenarios all ending in the same result and causing tradegy in the same way. I for one would disregard the negative comments on this section and carry on with your style as it stands. The power in the tale lies in its brevity. Perhaps the abrupt ending it what its all about. Life hgoes on and the BANG - it's over. Good read Phil + Report this comment
Posted by strawberrywino 2008-06-12 11:34:11 ... Good stories always seem to end to soon. + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-06-18 20:24:23 .... The ending may need beefed up a little more but I really liked the 3 different scenarios and various reactions. I felt the worst for Jen. + Report this comment
Posted by David Relic 2008-07-11 03:08:19 .... I am, to say the least, dissapointed in the comments I read. The story was strong, powerful even. The number one cause of death for pregnant woment in America is HOMICIDE. I see crazy truth within these lines. The style is solid, the direction true. Agreed that the ending need "beefing up", but I'd only like to see it end with the same powerful words as its previous three paragraphs held + Report this comment

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