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The Attack


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Written by Kasi   
Friday, 23 May 2008
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There’s a guard standing at the base of my heart

He’s tall, he's mean, he'll tear you apart

He carries a sword and shield in hand

He knows my routine; he knows what I’ve planned

Then one day I let him take a break

That may have been my biggest mistake

You came full  force  with  an army attack

Straight for my heart  no looking back

Knowing your intentions were entirely bad

I misplaced the thought and surrendered my stab

Without a fight or spark from my sword

All my emotions like rivers poured

Your eyes took me over like a blade to my throat

I fell victim to love and there was no antidote

 

(2002) 



Copyright 2008 Kasi
Keyword: attack sword
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Comments (21)
Posted by lemon
2008-05-23 13:33:41
....

I liked it. It flowed well and I liked the imagery you used. Well done :)
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Posted by alfred
2008-05-24 08:37:20
ok

after looking at the pic...I wonder if it was his eyes that took her like a blade to the throat
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Posted by Juda
2008-05-24 08:49:33
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I think it is cool how your works can put the reader in a different time and place.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-05-24 10:32:10
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very cool poem. it was very appealing to me how you took love and threw in all these images with it. very good.
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Posted by Vango
2008-05-24 18:39:36
wow

This is the best poem I've ever read.
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Posted by CELL
2008-05-25 21:37:25
Really liked it.

You strung along the knight metaphor very well. The guard to represent this woman's usual defensive ways when it came to men's approaches... and then her allowing herself to become vulnerable for someone that apparently was no good (very aware of his bad intentions no less, and probably knitting all kinds of costumes for this man). A very relatable piece; a trap many of us have fallen into.

Nice rhythm, good structure, and you wrote this 5-6 years ago, that's pretty impressive.
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Posted by CELL
2008-05-25 21:45:24
....

You know, I found it interesting how we usually refer to the one that sweeps us off our feet as Prince Charming, or our Knight in Shining Armor. Made me think of a very misleading facade (in the way you employed it here). Very good once again.
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Posted by eloquent atrament
2008-05-26 00:52:36
Wow!

Thank you guys and gals for all the comments. I wasn't sure how I felt about this one... But I am glad I decided to post it. Thank you. Thanks you.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-05-26 06:40:58
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Well rhymed with good rhythm. Love can conquer all it seems
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Posted by b.k.
2008-05-26 08:42:23
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this is definitely one of the best poems i've ever read. i loved the metaphor, it seemed to fit perfectly.
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Posted by eloquent atrament
2008-05-27 13:17:08
Love can conquer all....

Again, Thanks! There is typically a hidden message in all my writing, something that I am sure we all relate to.
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Posted by topsyturvywords
2008-05-29 12:53:27
....

the words are so strong

the meaning is deep and

it's very powerful :)
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-05-29 13:24:32
J W waterhous

someone else posted with a J W waterhouse painting! lol. I posted one as my cover pic long time ago... but I manipped it a bit. :)
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Posted by eloquent atrament
2008-05-29 13:29:44
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Really? Hmm, woops. I'm kinda new to this site and haven't come across it yet... Its a great pic. no wonder.
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Posted by E.Dover
2008-05-29 20:47:20
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Wow, loved it.
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 28 August 2008 )
 
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