Drawing back the blade Ana paused and stood back, the realization of what she had just done beginning to sink in. she dropped the straight razor and looked down at the evergrowing pool of blood that was blackening the white bathroom tile. She sank to the floor in the corner covering her head with her hands and rocked herself back and forth while the tears coursed down her cheeks mixing with the blood splattered there. "what will I do now? What will happen to me? Where will I go?" -- these were the thoughts running through her head 100 miles an hour. Thinking back, she couldn't remember when it started.. The hate that began growing steadily in her. That girl did EVERYTHING wrong, was always saying stupid things and getting herself into stupid trouble and stupid situations. She was just a bundle of stupid as far as Ana was concerned. Looking down at the person who had endured so much pain and suffering, the girl who had never been able to keep herself out of dangerous situations, she started to wonder if she really deserved what she‘d done to her. She started to wonder if her decision to cut her own wrists was really the answer.. After all.. She was still here. Only now where was she? She was looking down at her own body lying still on the bathroom floor. Looking at her own eyes begin to turn cloudy and her own skin turn so, so pale. She could hear the doorknob rattle, only it was muffled, and she saw a blurry image rush past her to the cold body at her feet. Realizing that the blurry image was her own mother sent a curdling scream from her throat, but her mother didn't even flinch- couldn't react to something she couldn't possibly hear. Ana tried to grasp her mother and pull her from the miserable sight of her body but she couldn't feel anything and no matter how much she pulled her mother never budged or acknowledged her presence. Letting go and walking backward until she came into contact with the wall, Ana could do nothing but stare at the scene as it unfolded before her own eyes. She could do nothing but watch as her mother rushed to call 911 or as her mother cradled her deceased form in her own arms as she cried and rocked her lifeless body back and forth. She could only cry silently as the paramedics had to pry Ana's dead body from her mother's arms. She screamed a silent scream as her baby brother came home from school and rushed into the bathroom to see what was happening only to slip on Ana's blood and crash down to the tile. She covered her ears, but it did not muffle the horrid sound of her brother crying out and screaming her name over and over, "Ana!, Ana!, Ana!" ... no, nothing she could do would ever take those images out of her mind. Death was so much worse than anything she could have imagined. And she would do anything just to take back what she had done to herself and her family. After all, life wasn't really THAT bad was it?
via Email