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Together in Death |
| Written by Rowena | |
| Tuesday, 20 May 2008 | |
Ajay runs behind me and catches up with me and as he comes closer he holds me around the hip and pulls me close to himself. "Are you nuts, he says. What will happen if you fall of the mountain or the cliff?" I didn't care and I didn't want to know about the next second. I was living my life to the fullest and anyways who has seen tomorrow and who knows what tomorrow has for you so why should I worry about tomorrow. I wanted to live and that is exactly what I was doing ... living. As the rain comes bursting through the dark clouds we run for shelter. We end up my car and I quickly pull out my wet top. I knew Ajay was starring at me but I didn't want to look at him. I reach out to the bag on the back seat and pull out a dry top and pull it over. I look at Ajay and I see him smiling at me. "You look great, let me dry your hair", he says pulling me towards himself. It's nearly dark and we drive off back to the city. He pulls the car in the parking space at my apartment and we hurried back to the apartment. The apartment is cold and dark and I switched on the heater. Ajay rushes into the shower while I prepare dinner. Half way through dinner and I hear him shout for a towel. "Grow up Ajay. Why can't you just pick a towel before you get in the shower, I growl at him standing at the bathroom door." "Sorry, he says smiling. Just this time, I promise." I knew he was lying, well he has been saying that over three months now. I throw the towel at him and run to the kitchen. I didn't want him to pull me in the shower today, as there was food on the stove. He walks into the kitchen with water dripping from his hair and dries them on me. He is such a pain and I just hated him for doing that. So to get back to him I tell him that I will put spinach in the meat. "Spinach and meat, he shouts. I am not having that. You very well know that spinach makes my throat itchy", and rushes into the room to get dressed. He has been in the room for over 30 minutes now and I knew he was mad at me. I walked quietly into the room and find him fast asleep on the bed. The room smells like perfume, as if I have just walked into a perfume store. Ajay loves fragrance, clothes, matching shoes, watches and belts. And he is a brand guy and so opposite me. He has told me on so many occasions that if I wanted to go out with him I had to dress up but I just hated dressing up. I jump on the bed and tickle him but he is really mad with me so I bite him hard on him back, which makes him jump. He pushes me away and I start to tease him but he gets furious. "Why you doing this, he shouts to me. You very well know that I hate spinach and I wanted to eat something nice but nah you have to make me upset." I sit quietly next to him as tears roll down my eyes. "I didn't put the spinach in the meat, I only took some out just to tease you." I get up to go away and he pulls me back in the bed. "I am sorry for shouting at you, he says calmly and kisses me." I push him away and run out of the room, crying. There is no way I will ever talk to him again, I say to myself. Ajay comes out of the room and leaves. I close the door securely after he leaves and cry my eyes out. We have been doing these small arguments for over 5 months now. Ajay was very short tempered and so was I and these made things worse between us. He was married and had a daughter and I have been having affair with him for over a year now. Just five months ago I separated from my husband just to be with him. He promised that as soon as I was out of my house he will do the same but he was still married and had no intention of leaving his family. We only saw each other in the weekends and sometimes few nights in the weekdays but we always ended up fighting. When he was not around I would plan all sorts of stuff and look forward to spending quality time with him but some how or the other he always left my apartment in bad moods. As soon as he leaves I would sit down and cry for ages and curse myself for the situation. I hurt my husband really bad and I was paying for it now. The next morning at work I am really in a bad mood. It's not till after lunch he calls to apologise. As usual I ask him again today if he will ever leave his family and be with me but I don't get an answer in return. I hang up the phone and leave the office. I walk about in the city for hours and I don't get home till it's late. As I walk Ajay starts to shout at me, again. There is lots of bitterness in his voice today and when he finally can't get a word from me he starts to blame me for seeing other guys. This is it! I couldn't take his **** any longer. I go to my room and close the door. I lay in the bed and look up at the ceiling. Oh yes, the ceiling fan. I quickly tie two scarfs together and put a stool just underneath the fan. I throw one end over the fan and tie the other to my neck. What am I doing? Well who cares, the sooner I die the better for everyone and above all Ajay and his wife will be the happiest people in the world. As I push the stool, I hang in the air with a jerk. I could feel the tightness around my neck, just than Ajay walks into the room. He holds my legs and pushes me towards the ceiling and with the other hand he quickly undid the knot from my neck. "What the hell you think you doing? I left my home today just to be with you but no, you still not happy with me." I look at him in shock and gasp for air. Left home, what does he mean? After a while when I am all settled down I find out that he was just lying. He can never leave his wife and his daughter. He is only using me for my money and for the warmth he gets from my body when we are in bed together. He has basically tagged me as a ****, yap that's what am I, a *****. I get my towel and walk into the bathroom and spend heaps of time there. As I come out I find the dinner has been placed on the table with a bright candle in middle. I place some food on my plate and walk into the living room. I quickly eat and go to bed. It's amazing to see how people change. I changed my life for him, because I thought he loved me a laughing piece amongst our friends and family. The whole week I go to work as normal. I hardly spoke to Ajay though I was missing him heaps. I just wanted his love and attention but I was not getting anything in return. He was always full of excuses and I was just getting fed up of him. As usual Saturday morning comes and I prepare lunch. We were going to our favourite hilltop again today. Ajay finally arrives after midday and I am burning with rage and anger. He must have taken his wife and daughter shopping and he didn't care that I was waiting for him the entire morning. Without any words I pick the picnic basket and walk to my car. I place the food on the back seat and sit on driver's side. It takes him few moments to sit beside me and as he does take all the time in the world I am filled with more anger. It took us a good hour to get to the top of the mountain. We hardly said a word to each other and I knew that Ajay was here today to break off with me. As I reach the hill I turn the car to our favourite spot but instead of stopping I placed my foot on the accelerator. By now Ajay must have known what was happening but it was too late, the car took a huge plunge in the air and down went the car. I turned around to look at Ajay and smiled. "Yes we are dying together, finally you are all mine, I yell at him."
Copyright 2008 Rowena |
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