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satisfaction |
| Written by shirin | |
| Tuesday, 20 May 2008 | |
I was alone, all alone! Nobody could understand me, it was true that they were right and I was wrong but it didn't mean that they should do this to me!
I know that loving him was a big mistake but I just did love him and I couldn't stop myself, I wanted to make my first decision, and I wanted to choose my first love ,it was all I wanted, but they kept telling me what was wrong and what was right, I just didn't care because all I've ever wanted was him, I told them days and nights but nothing went well. I couldn't convince them and knowing that they were not happy with him just bothered me.
The bigger problem was myself, actually I loved him but it didn't take all of my brain away, I could think a little and that little mind, kept telling me: you know he's not for you, just give him up! but how could I? I loved him for 3 years without even knowing him completely and with so much effort at last we came to know each other, and everyday I came to find a new terrible point about him...I couldn't forget him and I couldn't stay by him, everyday was a hell, a real hell.
I kept asking myself: How could people enjoy love? How could they love each other without even thinking? Why couldn't I act like them? Why I hurt myself and the others with his love? And was it really love? Even now, I can't answer these questions.
Then one day, one of those days that people think they can do whatever they want to, I woke up with a feeling, a desire for a new start and a hope for a new life, I stopped calling him, meeting him and pretended that I hated him...it is almost one year now, it's true that I couldn't forget him but I could act like an feeling less adult and I made every one satisfied but one thing: why can't I feel satisfied?
Copyright 2008 shirin |
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