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Only Joking. |
| Written by Gordon H Sharp. | |
| Friday, 16 May 2008 | |
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'Now behave yourself.' Caroline warned her husband. trying to give the impression that everything was normal. In the old days the warning had been necessary, but it wasn't anymore. These days Bill's behaviour was so predictable, he was in danger of becoming a bore. Lines of worry creased her lovely forehead as she looked up into the expressionless features she knew and loved so well. Darling Bill, his tanned face wearing that grim worried look, forced a wan smile as she needlessly straightened his tie. She wondered if he was keeping some terrible secret from her, but after gazing into those honest blue eyes, she knew he'd never knowingly lie to her. He'd share his problems as he'd always done. 'Won't be late' he said passively. 'Now don't forget , I may bring Silver Fox back for drinks, and be sure you're ready for tomorrow's jaunt.'
Caroline nodded, then, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, she sent him off to his meeting with Silver Fox the managing director of his company. Silver Fox.... What a way to describe Paul Bernstein she thought, yet the description really was appropriate.
Paul Bernstein at forty-eight, was only a couple of years older than her Bill, but he had a head of hair that wasn't grey, or white, it was definitely silver, She smiled at Bills reference to tomorrows trip to the cottage. She was more than ready. He'd find that out as soon as they arrived. Bill Sanders used to be well known amongst their friends as the practical joker of the group. Caroline had often featured in some of his pranks and they'd always been harmless fun. Her Bill would never knowingly hurt anyone, and he was never put out when some other joker turned the tables on him. He enjoyed the essence of the joke whether he was the perpetrator, or the victim. But a year ago Bill underwent surgery for stomach ulcers. The problem was; the operation seemed to have removed his sense of humour as well as the ulcers. Overnight, he changed.
Although he'd been given a clean bill of health, he seemed to have lost that happy go lucky, sometimes frantic, zest for living that had so attracted her when she married him twenty years ago. This weekend she was determined she'd do her damnedest to reignite the old sparkle in her man.
They'd recently purchased a little beach cottage, situated twenty minutes drive away. Unkown to Bill, she'd spent time there preparing it for tomorrow. After packing a case for their weekend jaunt, Caroline glanced at her watch then switched her gaze to the mirror. Her short fair hair seemed lifeless. Seizing a brush she applied it vigorously until her hair shone like silk.
Should I change? Bill had said that he might be bringing Paul Bernstein back for drinks. She lightly brushed her right hand down the front of the fashionable black dress she was wearing; and after appraising herself in the mirror she merely added a little pearl choker around her slender neck before deciding that she'd do. # # #
Twenty minutes later, Caroline replenished the ice in the bucket for the second time. Just as she was thinking Bill was late; the sound of a large vehicle crunching up the gravelled drive took her to the door.
As the limousine came to rest, two very bedraggled men emerged from its rear door. Heads hung low; expressions deadly serious, they walked silently towards her. Caroline knew instantly what had happened. The moment they stepped clear of the car it was patently obvious. With a sharp intake of breath, her right hand covering her mouth, she stood aside as the two men staggered into the house. Bills smart suit was badly rumpled, and obviously damp, his green silk tie hung loosely from his left hand.
His companion had fared no better. His expensive grey suit seemed to be shrinking visibly. The immaculate silver hair revealed a patch of dark substance on the crown, and there was a streak of black on one of his ears. Silently the two men walked over to the drinks table, Bill, his expression still grave, broke the silence. Pouring two large whiskies he addressed Paul in a sombre tone. 'Ice?' Caroline's eyes widened as Paul Bernstein looking up as his deputy asked the question, shook his silver head resolutely.
Her hand remained by her mouth until Bill, turning to face her couldn't contain himself any longer. He exclaimed, a wide grin forcing its way onto his rugged features. 'You little devil you! You well and truly caught me out. Or should I say you caught us out.' Both men were now laughing uproariously as Bill continued in between sips. 'I trust you've got plenty of hot water young lady, because we're both owed a hot bath and some refreshments after the traumatic experiences you've put us through.'
The peals of laughter were infectious, and soon all three were giggling, and grinning like cheshire cats. Paul, trying hard to suppress his mirth, declared, tongue in cheek, that he hadn't suspected that Caroline was a wicked woman who played horrible tricks on innocent, unsuspecting gentlefolk. Joining them for a drink Caroline listened happily as they recounted their adventure at the cottage. They sounded like two unruly schoolboys; each trying to outdo the other with their vivid descriptions and exaggerations. As a tear of happiness stole quietly down Caroline's cheek, she recalled that this was the way things used to be. It appeared that after the business meeting; Bill had mentioned the beach cottage to Paul, who expressed great interest in seeing it. As it was only a few minutes out of their way to the house, they'd popped over to give Paul a quick viewing.
Before entering the cottage, Bill, after opening the door, politely stepped aside, allowing Paul his boss, and lifelong friend to enter first. A split second later Paul was the main recipient of the contents of a bucketful of water containing a sachet of the evil black powder that Bill used for his jokes in his earlier, exuberant days. Fortunately the mixture didn't stain. Bill leapt to one side as he heard the old familiar sound of cascading water, but he didn't escape unscathed. As he apologised; and explained to Paul that the water was meant for himself, he dashed into the bathroom to grab a couple of towels for his guest, when, lo-and-behold. he became the victim of the second bucket of water which was lurking over the bathroom door. With obvious relish Paul took over and recounted this part of the story. Both men now had tears rolling down their cheeks as Paul went on to describe Bills failed attempt to sit in one of the large armchairs in the cottage.
At this stage, Paul had to stop his story for a moment as his excited words became garbled with suppressed laughter, after a deep breath he continued. After they'd both been immersed in water and were laughing at one anothers appearance; Bill, still wiping his wet hair had dropped heavily into an armchair.
Suddenly, as his weight descended, a large concealed balloon beneath the seat-cushion had exploded like a stick of dynamite. Bill had leapt from the chair like a scalded cat and stumbled helplessly against the sofa. This large, and normally stable piece of furniture then took on a life of its own as it rolled over and took Bill with it into a corner of the room. The memory of Bill wrestling with the huge sofa almost caused Paul to have a seizure, because he was laughing so uproariously. Much later, as a still smiling Paul Bernstein clambered into his car and drove away, Caroline Sanders looked up lovingly into her husbands eyes; which were still bright with the tears of laughter.
Placing her hand on his damp cheek she said gently 'I was only joking darling.' The twinkle in Bill's eyes, said it all. She'd succeeded in re-kindling the old flame.
The End.
Copyright 2008 Gordon H Sharp. |
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| Last Updated ( Monday, 09 June 2008 ) |
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