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Written by Jason Haugh
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Thursday, 15 May 2008 |
A Special Report
Brought to you by Kirk Masters
It has come to the attention of the police that our fair city is under attack. Who is the assailant? Drugs. Methamphetamines to be exact. Those crystal cash crops have been circulating through this state for longer than they've existed. We've kept kids off of drugs but have we kept them off of selling drugs? Recent studies show that two out of every five children are selling. But to whom? Not other kids as would be expected but to an older crowd. Senior citizens to be exact. This age group has been under siege from the drug community for almost ten years. It wasn't until proof was found three months ago that the cops acted. The proof is a surveillance tape from an undisclosed nursing home. In it you can see a young eight year old boy visiting his Grandmother. Isn't that sweet? Not quite as sweet when compared to what the police spotted on the tape. The eight year old boy casually hugs his Grandmother while covertly reaching under the pillow to deposit some bags of Methamphetamines and collect his money made from human depravity. Police quickly seized the young man, tried him as an adult, and sent him to a Juvenile Facility until his eighteenth birthday. And that's not it. Arrests have been made throughout the city shaking the very foundation of the family unit. Parents have recently been having to deal with the fact that not only are their children drug dealers, but their own parents are crack heads. It's been a very traumatic experience for all involved and we warn you, the people, to be wary of any young child that approaches you. This cannot be stressed enough, these children are dangerous. Reports have been filed of a single child luring a pedestrian to a secluded ally asking for assistance. Such as his mother or some other family member is injured and in need of emergency assistance. Once in the ally the pedestrian is jumped by a band of senior citizens with numbers ranging up to fifteen or more. They shamelessly use any tool of destruction at their disposal from empty trash cans to lead pipes these elderly people know how and where to cause fatal harm. The unconscious or deceased victim is then stripped of all possessions and left naked to be found in an undignified manner by the first passerby. This savage tactic has already killed nine people and injured twenty. It truly is a dangerous time to be trusting the supposed feeble and harmless members of our society. We'll keep you, the public, updated on this situation as it progresses but until then, as always, watch out for the young people. And whatever you do, don't go near a congregated group of elderly citizens. It could be the last mistake you ever make.
Copyright 2008 Jason Haugh
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 15 May 2008 )
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