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Hazy Tales #12This story may contain adult content. |
| Written by Neil Sweetman | |
| Tuesday, 13 May 2008 | |
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Share it:      It was the mushrooms that brought us together that night; well; at least it was the mushrooms that brought me to this place that night. I was high on life, mushrooms, Buckfast and crap resin, I wasn't interested in the beans that were sprouting that night because I had already witnessed a couple of victims puke their guts out and blame it on the dodgy pills that were floating about; nothing dodgier that dodgy pills. But what was she doing here? She didn't belong here, in Ronan's flat, the first stop for all social misfits and young experimentalists alike, it was a place of harmless, shameful drug freedom, id never met Ronan but I dug his kingdom. She didn't belong here, she belonged in one of our trendy shite-clubs sipping weak cocktails for free, or nibbling phoney tapas in one of our phoney tapas restaurants, not here, in Ronan's flat. I would have greeted her a lot sooner than I did but I seemed to be sucked into the battered sofa and it was a mad bit of effort to get free. I stopped the struggle for think about her for a while and just become certain that it really was her before I made a fool of myself. She was my first love, the first girl who ever pulled me off actually, she' probably forgotten about that though, she moved up the attractive ladder a lot sooner than me therefore all her boyfriends after me were handsome pricks. Who was she here with? The last id heard she was courting Badger Campbell, a bad memory from my high school days, the type of **** who used give me **** about my experimentation methods and my music taste and then came to me last year with a fake smile and questions on where to pickup a bit of smoke; **** him, ******* hypocrite bastard. I couldn't see him though, seemed to be just her, was it her? My eyesight was going a wee bit mental, shifting between her and the melting wallpaper, I love to watch the wallpaper when I'm tripping my balls off, if everyone in the world was on mushrooms they would find me the best interior decorator ever. **** it, this curiosity is strangling me, I'm going to find out. I stood up, with a lot of mad effort, and I began my journey across the crowded room, no turning back now, someone stole my seat already. I tried not to focus on the rainbow worms dripping from the ceiling as I made my way to her, thinking of how to approach her without looking like a complete retard. I figured id just start with a surprised tap on the shoulder, her sweet, succulent, fake-tan coloured shoulder, I really felt like licking it right now. Before I could lick or even touch her shoulder I felt a hand on mine, I quickly scrapped the panic and turned to see who had interrupted my mission. ‘Well Antonio, how's it hangin?' It was badger, son of a *****, the ****** in the flesh. He was looking very metro sexual in his pink shirt and designer ripped jeans, I cannot grasp why people pay more money for jeans that are already ripped, it doesn't make sense, if they are the height of fashion now then I must have been ahead of my time back in the day when I wore my brother's throw-back's, why isn't anyone slagging of this ****** for being poor? ‘Well, Badger. It's hanging well. What are you up to?' Like I gave a ****. ‘ **** all, just looking for a few beans for the night.' He said to me with a suggestive wink. As soon as drugs were mentioned, along she came, poking her beautiful head into our conversation. She glanced at me and I gave her a fake surprised smile, which she didn't notice, before hugging her prick with a smooch on the neck. ‘Well, Shauna/ Long time no see, eh?' She stopped her smooching to look me over before breaking my heart again. ‘I know you.' My levels of subconscious intoxication seemed to drop like catholic policeman. She looks at Badger for help. ‘Aye, you know Antonio. We went to school together.' Exclaimed Badger as if he was introducing her to a good old friend of his to whom she's never met before, instead of re-introducing her to the first man who ever sprayed his load into her hand, I wonder if Badger wanted to know that? I hated being called Antonio, this fuckers been calling me Antonio since high school, I once made the mistake of telling him I didn't like it much, only to have his whole class chant "Antonio is a gringo who takes it in the ringo" the next day in school. ‘Oh aye, wee Antonio. Keeping well?' **** this *****, she didn't recognise me. Calling me "wee", I'm a couple of months older than her. Maybe she didn't want to know me, either way she isn't the same girl who carefully polished my knob back in the day, I thought we had something special. She didn't even wait to hear my response to her question; she didn't care how I was keeping so she went back to sucking Badger's neck. ‘Can you sort me out with a few pills then, man?' Asked Badger. I was livid in my head, **** him and **** her, why should I sort them out? Why should I help them after they ****** up my buzz, and ruined my night? Before I forgot my self and let rip on these bitches I had an idea. A way to bring back my buzz and **** them both over. ‘Aye man. I can get you pills right now, wait here.' Badger gave me a wee wink before making out with her. I held my evil giggles until I was out of the room. I knew Magoo was in the toilet hugging the toilet-bowl, due to those dodgy pills. I relieved him of the rest of his tainted haul, six speckled tele-tubbies. I brought them to my good buddies down-stairs and insisted that they weren't very strong so they should bang them back-to-back, I'm even such a good pal that I let them have them for free, I was rewarded with a big hug from Shauna, I didn't suspect she wanted to take it any further this time. I watched her swallow two at a time, then him swallow three, obviously he has to be the big man. After I witnessed the intake I left the flat, rewarding myself with an evil laugh and a spliff in the park. I could feel the mushrooms coming back again; trees are crazy when you're on mushrooms.
Copyright 2008 Neil Sweetman |
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