|
|
|
when i was born again |
| Written by louise bromley | |
| Monday, 12 May 2008 | |
I'm just an ordinary person who got on with life, staying out of trouble as most people do. I'm on my second marriage, to my husband Richard, I've got two children, both of them in their late teens, they have both left home to start lives of there own. I was probably too soft on both of them as they both grew up, I let them both talk to me in an abusive way, it got steadily worse through the years. Anyway I became very sad; all I wanted was for my children to treat me with respect. But all they did was hurt me in the way that they treated me, not that I ever blamed them, I always blamed myself, and was always the piece maker. I became depressed and felt that life couldn't carry on without my kids loving me; I really felt that they were never going to. I wanted help, my husband was always supportive, but needed to get outside help, so went to the doctors, explaining the situation, and she then referred me to see a councillor, I went to see her for a couple of weeks, It made me feel worse, all It did was make me cry, she then suggested that I was to seek extra help, Oh how desperate it made me, I thought about ending my life, but something stopped me, it wasn't my time yet. Then after really wanting someone to talk to me, the phone rang, it was my sister Toni, she is a born again Christian, she asked me how I was, I replied that I was fine at first, then I cried, she then asked what was wrong, I then told her, so she invited me over to stay at hers for a few days, so after asking my husband, I then said that I would go. I went over to stay on the Saturday, as soon as I walked through the door to her home I felt so calm and at piece, all that evening we chatted more about what was happening, a bit later I got really tiered, so she showed me where I was sleeping, I then went to bed, but as soon as I had got into bed, I couldn't rest, all I did was toss and turn all night, now it wasn't because I had things on my mind, or was it because I was uncomfortable, I am not sure what it was, anyway, I finally got to sleep at about 5 am the Sunday morning, when I woke up again it was 6.30 am. Now the first thought I had was of my son, the second thought was to go to church. All throughout Sunday, I carried on talking to Toni, had a lovely Sunday lunch, I made Yorkshire pudding for her, made in the traditional way. Poor Toni, she had been trying to pluck up enough courage to ask me if I wanted to go to church, later on that evening, I said to her that I was wandering when she would ask me, I said that I would. As you can imagine she was overjoyed with the answer I gave. A little later I text my husband, asking him how his day was, and I told him that I would be going to church, and told him not to worry, I wouldn't be converted. He didn't receive my entire message. He didn't reply. When it was time for us to go to church, I felt fine, I got in the car, I got a little nervous, then I saw the size of the church, I was really nervous, I walked in, sat down and then looked around the room, it was different than I expected, everyone was normal, everyday people, dressed in normal clothes, not dresses or suits. There were different musical instruments, drums, keyboard, guitars and tambourines and people getting ready to sing. There were two large monitors, showing pictures of many people and children, from all over the world, in desperate situations. Then it started, WOW what a feeling, I felt, warm, calm and happy, I was very moved with how everyone was so genuine in their faith, holding up their hands high in the air, calling out Jesus, thank you and hallelujah, I was listening to the words of the music playing and listening to everyone singing along, I felt so good, even though I felt so good, all I did throughout the church service was cry, not sad tears, but happy. Toni said that I was getting really hot. At the end, they gave the opportunity to go forward for prayer, I wanted to, but at first couldn't, I herd in my mind, what will your mum say, what will Richard say, what will my other friends and family say, and even though, I herd this in my mind, I was also saying in my mind, I know, but I want to go forward for prayer, I want a piece of this faith in God, so I did. Toni came with me to hold my hand. The Pastor asked me what I wanted to pray for, I said that I didn't know, he said that that was ok, just repeat the words after me, so I did. I put complete faith and trust in the person. Now to this day I'm not sure completely what I said, all I remember that the Lord Jesus Christ, during the prayer I remember that I thought that all I wanted was to be happy and not depressed again. After the prayer, the tears were still pouring from my cheeks, but I was laughing. I went home on the Tuesday, I still felt great, even though my children were being very hurtful in their texts to my phone. I went to see my councillor, she was amazed with my transformation, I told her what had happened, she thought that it was great news, she also said to get the holiday period over with, and to see if I needed her help any longer. I didn't, I thanked her and cancelled and said to give it to someone who would need her help. Since then, there has been no turning back; my faith has become stronger each and every day. I am doing many things that I would never do before, for example, before I became a Christian, I never read any book, now I can't put the Bible down. I pray, many times throughout the day. I truly believe he answers all my prayers; I have become a new person, born again. Now even though I do still have problems with my teenage children not talking to me, I can now cope with life now I have God and his son Jesus in my life. Now I'm really excited in becoming baptized, and looking forward to continuing my love and faith in Jesus, and heavenly father. I believe, rely and trust in God to sort out my problems along the way. Copyright 2008 louise bromley |
|
| Last Updated ( Monday, 12 May 2008 ) |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
via Email