With hesitant steps the young man approached Amelia, still tense and waiting on the bed, unsure of what was to come next.

"You are Amelia Jameson, correct?"

The young man speaks! Amazing.

Now, I know you're just waiting to know what comes next, but you'll have to wait. I do not care a hill of beans if you are impatient, for patience is a virtue. If you do not learn to be patient now, you never will. Now is the time to learn a few facts about our heroine. Amelia Jameson is of the age of fourteen years. She is slim, physically fit and of medium height. The burning flame of fire is the colour of her hair and the crashing, blue-green waves of the ocean is the colour of her eyes. She was optimistic and extremely sarcastic- one of her faults and also, something she was trying to work on, but it is hard to place a harness on that wild animal we call our tongue. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can shatter the soul. Now, I believe that is enough information to go on with. We are now re-entering when Amelia is just giving her answer to the young man's question.

"Yes." This answer was, in fact, not whispered, for Amelia did not want them to think her vulnerable and easily frightened. Granted, she was frightened, but did not feel that when one is captured it is the correct time and place to show one's true emotions.

"I see, well..." and here the mysterious un-named young man stuttered, paused for a second and then continued. The reason for the delay was unknown. "My father and uncle will be with you soon, but they are otherwise engaged at this moment. I only came to see if you were comfortable, but in truth I thought you would still be asleep."

"Then why come and see if I was comfortable if that was your belief?"

"Uh, I..." and here he stuttered again. This young man was increasingly bewildering. He seemed in awe of Amelia- a strange emotion for a capture.

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Keyword: dice die kidnap kidnapped adventure

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Comments (4)

Posted by nick711 2008-05-11 19:46:40 .... if only the chapters were longer! + Report this comment
Posted by cookingWine 2008-05-11 19:57:02 .... It feels like it's stretching for me. Tension shouldn't have to get breasts implants at the end of every chapter. There shouldn't have to be gunshots to keep me reading, I should be curious for her plight, and simply, I'm not. The gunshots almost take away from that more so because it takes away the dynamics of a characters. When you create gunshots or anything along those lines, you're drawing focus, and inevitably, choices, away from the character. Tension derives from the ability for your character to make wrong/right choices. I like the active narrator. It makes me believe that there is a bias and that there might be an omnipotent liar. Keep on keeping on. CS. + Report this comment
Posted by nick711 2008-05-11 20:02:11 .... omnipotent liar. that would be a good idea. :] + Report this comment
Posted by Darkness.of.Mystery 2008-05-12 09:11:59 .... Okay, so I changed the ending. The biggest reason was because I had no idea where I was trying to go with the gun shots. So, for anyone who is reading this after the revision I had previously this story with "He never answered her question, though, for at that moment gunshots were heard outside the building." Sorry, if there is any confusion. + Report this comment

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