You were the girl everyone had a crush on when we were in third grade. You came from another school. You had that honey-brown complexion that I always secretly loved. You were perfect at mixing your passive flirtation with plenty of distance. You were the one we all talked about, and the crazy thing was you liked me.

Your feelings were brought to my attention through the usual channels: You told Lizzie who told Jen who told John who told David who told me. Everyone knew about this secret romance, and that is all this relationship remained for several weeks. For us to show some feeling for each other would violate this understood rule that we lived by back then.

Then, after Lord knows how many days of tension you made a move. Hell, looking back at every relationship I've ever been in I am never the one to do that. I guess it's only fitting that my first brush with romance should follow suit.

At this point a phrase such as, “I'll never forget that morning” will be in order. Well, it fits this situation. I guess that's why so many people use it. Anyway, I'll never forget that morning. It was just like any other Friday at that school. We were on our way to the morning service. I was pretending to smoke a cigarette and exhaling my warm breath to the delight of my friends. It even felt edgy and rebellious back then. We greeted the regulars who came to the service every week. Looking back on it, it seems kind of creepy to talk to little kids every day like that. Oh well, the men seemed nice enough back then.

Our class walked into the poorly lit cathedral and we took our places behind the fourth graders. You sat in front of me. The butterflies kept my stomach occupied through the opening rites, the readings, even the ultra-interactive homilies that our priest felt was necessary to get the message through back then. All I could think about was you. I prayed, though I guess this was a less-than-appropriate time to do so, that you would turn around and say, “Peace be with You.”

“And Jesus turned to them and said 'I leave you peace and peace I give you'” snapped me back into reality. It was almost time. My hands were in a cold sweat, and an uncontrollable shake had taken hold of me.

And Holy **** what is this?! You slowly turned around and stuck your hand out. Your thumb was poking through a hole in your uniform. I guess you had chewed a little refuge for your palm. That thumb was all I could feel, and it was the only thing I needed to feel.

It was just as sweaty as mine.