Fairy Tales From Hell Presents:

Hansel and Gretel

By

Max Booth III

Hansel had an older sister named Gretel. Now, Gretel was beyond beautiful. Long blonde hair and also with blue eyes. Perfect skin and a perfect body. She was in the eleventh grade while her younger brother was in the fifth grade. She was a little spoiled, too. She never had to do any chores. But she was always getting into trouble. Worse than Hansel. Coming home past curfew, drunk as a skunk. Having creepy boyfriends that were way older than herself. She was basically the town ****.

Well, they were a family without much wealth. They were down right poor. They only got one thing to eat every day, a pop tart. The Step Mother had won a contest and got a life time helping of cherry pop tarts. So, that was always their dinner.

Hansel and Gretel shared a bedroom, so that meant whenever Gretel had a new boyfriend over (which was quite frequently) Hansel had to go out the window and wait outside until they were done with whatever they were doing. Well, on this night Gretel didn’t have anyone over so her and Hansel were in their bedroom. Hansel was playing with a paddle ball and Gretel was doing her homework. The walls in this house were extremely thin, so when somebody said something you could hear it all through the small bungalow.

On this night the Step Mother and Father were arguing about their money problems and how they were running out of pop tarts. The Step Mother was saying how if they don’t do something they would end up living on the street and starving to death.

“What do you mean by ‘something’?” the Father asked.

The Step Mother said they would have to abandoned the children. They had no futures anyway. With one being a criminal and the other a *****. Why let all of us be homeless when only two could be?

The father said that was outrageous! He would not give up his own kids. There was no way in hell.

Then the Step Mother said it was either them or her. She would leave him forever unless he abandoned his children.

The Father was furious at this ultimatum, but at the end reluctantly decided with his wife. For he cared for his wife a great deal, and he loved his children. But he had already lost one wife and he didn’t want to lose another. He said okay.

However they did not know that Hansel and Gretel overheard their decision. And the children were devastated! They could understand why the Step Mother wanted them gone. They hated each others’ guts. But how could their own father just give them up like that? It seemed like some sort of bad nightmare.

Hansel and Gretel cried all through the night. Gretel sneaked out to a boyfriend’s house for one last time and Hansel slept in his bed for one last time.

Early in the morning, though, Hansel woke up before anybody else and snuck outside with a screwdriver. He crawled under the car and poked a small hole in the oil pan. Tiny drops of oil began dripping out and onto the driveway. Then Hansel went back to bed.

He awoke an hour later from his Step Mother. She was standing in their room. Gretel was already awake. The Step Mother said that they were going on a trip to the city. They needed to get wood at a hardware store to build a shed.

“What about the hardware store in town?” Hansel asked.

“They don’t have good wood. They have the termite infested wood there, and we don’t want any termites now do we?” the Step Mother smirked.

“No, guess not,” Hansel sighed.

When they got in the car (the Father was no were in sight. He was still sleeping) the Step Mother handed each of them a pop tart and said to save it for the ride home from the city. They might get hungry.

An hour later they were in the city and the Step Mother was pulling to a curb. She pointed at the sidewalk and said to get out.

“Are you coming out, too?” Gretel asked.

“Of course I am. What do you think I’m going to do, ditch you here like you’re a couple of dogs?” the Step Mother said.

“Okay,” Gretel said.

As soon as the children got out of the car the Step Mother yelled, “So long brats! See ya in hell!” and sped off.

“I cant believe it. They really did it,” Gretel cried.

“Relax, sis. Lets just follow her,” Hansel said, cheerfully.

“She’s way to fast!”

“No, earlier this morning I poked a hole in the oil pan. Now the car is making a trail of oil. So we just follow the oil spots and we should be back home before night fall.”

“You clever little devil,” Gretel smiled.

They joyfully jogged along the sidewalk, singing a tune and following the oil trail. They ran past a man on the street playing a saxophone quite wonderfully. That just cheered them up even further.

But then their short little happy adventure soon ended.

For it started raining heavily, causing the oil spills to wash away and drenching pool Hansel and Gretel.

They cursed and ran into some random building for cover. The building was called The Candy Cane.

They ran into darkness. And then they were in some sort of bar. A little of a way from the bar was a couple stripper platforms. Fat men surrounded them. The stripper poles were painted in red and white twirls. Naked girls danced on them. Like candy canes. They had definitely walked into the wrong building. They had walked into a strip club.

Hansel and Gretel turned around but ran into a man in a gray suit. He also had gray hair.

“Hello, kiddies. Aren’t you two a little young to be in here?” he asked.

“We were just on our way,” Gretel said, trying to make her way past the Man in Gray.

“Well hold on there cutie. Maybe you were here to try out?”

The Man in Gray pinched Gretel’s ass.

“Hmmm…you look good. Feel good. About time we got some fresh talent in here. Now, how ‘bout those tits?”

Gretel smacked him across the face and called him a goddamn pig.

The Man in Gray spat out some blood and smiled. “You just messed up, *****,” he said, and punched her in the mouth, resulting in knocking Gretel out and down to the booze smelling floor.

Hansel screamed and tried to run, but the Man in Gray picked him up over his shoulder. He told the bouncer to follow him and they took Hansel and Gretel to the basement.

Hansel and Gretel woke up in the basement of the strip club. Their legs were chained to the wall. There were seven other girls chained in the basement. Some of them were sleeping but most of them were awake, crying quietly.

“What the--what’s going on? Help! Help! Please somebody help me!” Gretel screamed.

“Shhhh!” a girl said. “He’ll hear you.”

“Who will?” Gretel asked.

“The Man in Gray,” answered another.

“Who is he and why is he doing this? What is he doing?”

“He owns this place. He‘s the Witch‘s son.”

“We’re his main stars.”

“Cheaper than real strippers.”

Gretel was panicking and shaking. She said this wasn’t real. Just a nightmare.

“If it helps you through the day then it is a nightmare,” another slave said.

She said she would just run away.

“Yeah, the last girl who tried that got a bullet in her brain. Go ahead though, maybe you’re faster than a moving bullet.”

This isn’t fair! Why me? Why is this happening to me?

“Oh shut the hell up will ya? What’s so special about you? You’re just another nice piece of ass that caught his attention. Now you’re the newest main attraction. So just shut up. I need some sleep,” a stripper snapped.

“Oh ****, here he comes,” another said.

The door of the basement burst open and the Man in Gray ran down the stairs. “Who the **** is making all the commotion?” he screamed.

The strippers pointed at Gretel.

The Man in Gray punched Gretel again and said, “Okay, *****, listen up. This is how it is going to be. You will dance for me on the candy canes. You refuse even once I kill your brother, got it?”

“Y-yes.”

“You will have sex with anybody I say to. That includes me. You are a ***** and I am your pimp now. You refuse and I kill your brother, got it?”

“Yes,” Gretel said, tears flying down her cheeks.

“You ever try to get help from somebody or try to run on me your brother gets his ******* head cut off, got it?”

“Yes!”

“Good.” The Man in Gray walked over to Hansel, who was also chained to the wall. “Hello, boy-o. You are now my slave. You do what I say when I say it. You clean the floors and make the drinks. You ever try to backstab me your sister dies. And I’ll make sure it isn’t fast, too. Got it?”

“Yeah,” Hansel muttered.

“Good. Now, to meet your new Mommy. She’s my mom, too. You’ll like her. She’s just like me.” He ran up the stairs and came back down with a woman as old as the hills. Long stingy white hair and wrinkly skin. No teeth what so ever. She was wearing a gray robe and supported herself on crutches.

“Hello, kiddies,” she choked. “Haven’t seen you all in awhile! I hear we have another girl? And a boy this time?”

She grabbed Gretel by her chin and said, “Oh, this is a pretty one we have here! We’re sure to make some money off of this one.”

The Witch saw Hansel and she said, “Oh, look at that handsome little boy! Such bright blue eyes! He’ll be a great worker.”

Before the Witch left she turned around at Hansel and Gretel and said, “Welcome to the Family.”

Gretel became a great success on the candy cane. All the perverts went wild for her. She hated it, though. But if she didn’t do it her brother would die. She had no doubt that the Man in Gray was telling the truth when he said that. When she wasn’t dancing or ******* some lonely guy in the back of the strip club she was locked back up in the basement, crying her sorrows away. Gretel wondered if she wasn’t such of a **** back at home if she would still be a ***** now. Maybe if she could somehow change her past. Maybe she wouldn’t be a sex slave for a witch lady and her son. Maybe she her real mom would still be alive and her parents would actually be proud of her. Just maybe.

Hansel made The Candy Cane look like a paradise. He mopped the floor and shined the poles. He wiped the tables clean and washed the beer glasses. He soon learned how to make the best drinks you could get anywhere in Chicago. People loved his screwdrivers, but his trademark was something he invented called ButterMade. It was an alcoholic drink that consisted of butterscotch flavoring, rum, and apple cider. Everybody just loved it! The Candy Cane had never been so popular! The sad thing was nobody seemed to realize what was really going on. Nobody seemed to noticed that all the strippers had infected red chain marks on their ankles. Or that they all had tears dripping down their cheeks. But they weren’t really looking at their faces or ankles, now were they? When Hansel wasn’t working he was locked up in the basement. He spent all of his time doing push ups and sit ups. Or talking to the other slaves. They all became great friends.

But every night in the basement was always the same. It all ended with silent cries and wet tears.

But one day at the Candy Cane was different. At first it was going same old same old. It was bright in the morning and the Man in Gray took Gretel out of the basement and into his own bedroom for his daily ****. The Witch walked down to the basement to talk to her ’son’ and ’daughters’. Seeing how their day was and smiling when they started crying.

The Witch made it to Hansel and exclaimed, “Wow, you sure have a lot of muscle!”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Hansel said.

“Why how polite you are!”

“I realize that you are a nice woman. You just want more children than just your one son. Well, I’ll be your son. I love you, Mom,” Hansel said.

All the other slaves were looking at Hansel, dumbfounded.

“Well finally somebody gets it! Give me hug why dontcha?”

“Okay, Mommy,” Hansel said, and hugged her. But then he tightened his grip and threw the Witch against the wall.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Hansel picked up her crutch and said, “Goodnight, Mommy.” He then rammed the crutch into her face. And then again. He kept doing it until his arms got tired.

With blood splattered all over his face Hansel searched The Witch for the keys and quickly found them. He unlocked his foot and then helped the others. Each one of them hugged Hansel and kissed him on the cheeks. All of them saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you, I love you!’

They snuck up the stairs and behind the bar.

“Be quiet,” Hansel told everybody. “The bouncer is right over there and he’s going to hear us.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him.”

The former slaves grabbed beer bottles and attacked the bouncer.

Hansel smiled and grabbed a bottle himself. He smacked it against a corner and it turned into a homemade knife. Hansel made his way toward the Man in Gray’s room.

He kicked open the door to find the Man in Gray on top of his crying sister. “Get off her!” he screamed.

“What the ****?”

Hansel drove the knife into his throat. Then his chest. Then the cheek. And so forth.

Hansel got his nearly catatonic sister dressed and helped her out of the Candy Cane.

The rest of the girls ran home to their old homes.

Hansel and Gretel saw the same man with the saxophone on the sidewalk, playing away. He began walking a certain direction and they followed him. It seemed like a good way. The man led them all the way to their old home. Hansel and Gretel left the saxophone man walking down the endless road and they scurried to their house.

But there was something wrong.

There were CAUTION tape and CONDEMNED signs all over the place. The house was abandoned.

They stopped a woman who was jogging by and asked if they knew what was going on. Where were the people who used to live here?

“I dunno if its true but what I heard is the husband murdered his wife for killing their children. Heard it was a brutal mess inside there when the police discovered them. I think the husband is in prison or a mental institution.”

The lady jogged on her way.

Hansel and Gretel were flabbergasted.

Their Father in prison? Their Step Mother dead? What to do now? They knew if they turned themselves in they would get split up in different families. But they also knew they couldn’t survive on their selves. So, they finally decided on going to the police.

Everybody was astonished to find out that Hansel and Gretel were still alive. They figured they were buried in some ditch somewhere. Of course they went to foster home, though. But they got sent to the same family. A very rich one at that. They lived in a giant mansion with other brothers and sisters. Hansel stopped getting in trouble with the law and paid attention to his school work, and Gretel stopped being a ****.

Everything turned out alright for ole Hansel and Gretel.

All the anxiety was at an end, and they lived together in perfect happiness. My tale is done, there runs a mouse, whoever catches it may make himself a big fur cap out of it.