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Metzger Part 1


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by Billy   
Friday, 02 May 2008
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The Movie Theater was smaller than most movie theaters. Playing on the screen was one of those old movies that either made you cry or sick.

 There was only person watching the movie. A narrow shouldered bald man. He didn’t appear short but he certainly did not appear tall. He was dressed like today’s cliche of a homosexual. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, a pair of tight black jeans and a black pair of comfortable Landsend walking shoes. On his face he wore a very impassive expression.

Although he appeared homosexual, it was still hard to determine if he even had a sexual preference. Deep down the man had extremely violent tendencies. Earlier in his life his violent side was expressed through sex with either male or females. But later on he found that murder held more gratification than sex.

In his teens he worked in a butcher shop. His mentor and owner of the butcher was teaching the young man the ways of butchering. One day while admiring his young pupil the butcher decided he was going to teach him what he considered the second level of butchery, murder.

The Butcher at one time had worked heavily with murder incorporated during the 1930’s. The Butcher found that he was growing old and needed to pass on his skills. When he asked his prodigy about learning how to kill, the young man said, " sure, I am always willing to learn anything my mentor is willing to teach me". After six months of learning how to use various types of firearms, knives, and explosives. He even learned how to kill with his bare hands. The young man not only felt but also knew he was ready to kill his first man.

Although he was nineteen when learnt how to kill he wouldn’t kill his first man until he was twenty-three years old. It was sort of ironic, that the first man he would kill. Would be the very man that taught him how to kill. He was offered thirty thousand dollars by a high-ranking ‘under world official’. . From then on clients and other citizens of the international under world would know him. They would only know him as mister Metzger.

While mister Metzger was paying little attention to the movie another man walked into the theater. The man was broad shouldered and at least twice the size of the bald man. The man did notice the bald man and sat right in front of him. Mister Metzger knew the man was going to sit in the very seat in front of him. He knew this because he knew the man’s habits.

Very smoothly and quickly the bald man reached his left arm across the man and grips his right biceps. He covered the man’s mouth with right hand. He then proceeded to push the man’s head to the left and then quickly jerk it to the right. The sound that was made by the snapping of the neck was very loud and unpleasant.

Mister Metzger left the Movie Theater like some one unsatisfied by the movie.



Copyright 2008 Billy
Keyword: Metzger Part 1
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Comments (7)
Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-05-04 13:10:17
,,,

Good start,,, Strange though how it was written. At first it seemed the bald man was being described by another observer in the theater, then his life was being told as it unfolded,,not sure by whom. Still, curious as where you will take this...I love serial killer stuff.(which is reflected in alot of stuff I do.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-05-04 16:22:19
....

Mr. Metzger sounds more like a hitman to me. i liked the way you decided to make this character look. a bald short guy who no one would suspect as a murderer. as Potter said, i am also interested to see where you will take this in the continuation. i liked it.
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-05-05 18:11:47
,,,

Yea,,misread this i guess,,I agree,,sounds like a hit man.
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Posted by The 13th
2008-05-10 10:28:17
....

I really enjoyed this Billy, waiting for part 2...

I can see you've put alot into this .Well done mate.
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Posted by Forsaken
2008-05-11 10:31:26
lol

That was really sinister, and very good. Can't wait for the next part!
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Posted by Kasi
2008-07-01 21:42:10
....

This story has more character description than the other one of yours I just read, but this one seems to be a part of a bigger story rather than a whole one in its self. To me this is a great start to developing a longer and more sinister plot. It jumped around a bit, but kept me reading.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-04 09:14:29
Picky Little Me

Yes I know I am, but overuse of words (buthcer, man, movie) interrupts the flow of what is otherwise a strong short story.

Again this is just me, but try not to get hung up on one particular subject or your writing could become predictable, but then again it never hurt Ian Fleming did it?

Keep going please.....

Phil
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