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I Want Him ....... Again |
| Written by Rowena | |
| Wednesday, 30 April 2008 | |
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Share it:      It was painful departure. I remember very well that I missed school that particular Wednesday to be with Jason. He was going to Canada the very next day. I was young, very young. Maybe 17 or 18 and we were seeing each other for over a year. He was around 26 years old. He was tall, built and fair but he was not educated but he made me happy and that was all that mattered to me. There was no physical relationship between us and he respected me a lot and I loved him like crazy. After all he was my first love. Wednesday was such a perfect day. We were talking and laughing the whole day. We promised to write each other letters at least once a week. I had given him my friend's address, as I didn't want anyone to find out about us at home. Everyone would be so angry with me if they found out about us and our affair. I was smart and in few months I would be out of college and into uni. The day was filled with fun and love. Jason took great care of me and we spent quality time together. Who knows when we would be seeing each other next? Thursday came and 2.45pm his plane flew over my school. I was in middle of a speech, rehearsing for a debate, but I stood on the stage and started crying. So he is gone, I thought. He has really gone. With a broken heart I went back home that afternoon. The whole street seemed so empty and quite. I didn't look towards his house. I went inside and went off to bed. I woke up around 9 and went outside. I looked towards his house and there was complete darkness all around it. I sat on the ground and cried my eyes out. Just as I looked up I saw a falling star and I made a wish. "Please Jason come back. I want you in my life, please come back." With these words I went back into the house. I studied hard and completed my examinations and went away to the city to go to uni. During this time I only got one letter from Jason and he said he missed me. I kept writing and writing to him but he never replied once. I started making friends in uni and soon I was busy with my studies that I forgot all about him. After 15 months I went back home for his sisters wedding. He was not there but I could feel his presence in the house. Everyone was running to get things organised and the phone rang and I, being closest to it, answered the phone. "Whose this I am talking to, he asked." "Jason, it me, I said." "Can you pass the phone to mum or dad, he said." I placed the phone down and never thought about him again. I did receive his wedding card few years later. I was devastated but was very happy for him. I too got married after some time and moved on with me life. I was going through hell with my husband and after 6 years of marriage I had a baby. I hated the baby as I conceived it in hatred and not in love. Four years later I was standing next to a railway line looking at the train, which is coming towards me like a lightening. 20, 15, 10, 8 meters away just than a sudden fear grips me and I step back as the train passed me, the wind pushed me further. I took a small walk, to a park next to the train station and cry out loud. I stopped and answered my phone. It was just my mum, I listened to what she had to say and I walked back into the office. As I got busy with work my mobile ring again. I looked at it, ignored it for a while, but finally I answered. "Is this Sam, Samantha?" "Jason". "So you still remember my voice. How are you?" "How am I, I said angrily. Why the hell you want to know about me now." "I just got your number form your dad. I always wanted to talk to you but no one gave me your number." "I don't want to talk to you Jason." "Please Sam, just listen to me." I talked to him that day and I found it so relaxing. He explained that when he returned from Canada he wanted to marry me but he was told that I had eloped with someone. Why on the earth would some one tell him such a big lie? We kept calling each other and we shared the good times we had together and laughed about it. Two weeks later I started to wait for his phone calls and I forgot all about taking my life. Jason gave me a new life and I think I am falling in love with him. After 15 years I am falling in love with him again. I am dying to go to Canada and see him once even for a second but I want to see him again before I die. My love for him was genuine and if god wants he will, by hook or crook, help us meet each other. We both are married and have kids but why do I want to cheat in my marriage and be with him. Why do I want to be with him though I know he cheated on me and didn't have faith in me? I talk to him everyday and as soon as I hear his voice I feel alive. I have never been so happy in my life and I have got a new meaning of life and something to live for. Am I falling in love again? He said that he loved me and he never forgot me and he asked me if I loved him but I kept quite. Why can't he for just once come close to me and listen to what my heart has to say?
Copyright 2008 Rowena |
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 April 2008 ) |
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