The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

Gabriel Visits

“What do you see when you look out at the...

Confining darkness


User Rating: / 8
PoorBest 
Written by Reanne   
Tuesday, 29 April 2008

It felt like my heart hade been shattered into a million pieces and as my tears hit the ground, I couldn’t help but fall to my knees, the blood from my head was flowing down my face creating a scarlet pool beneath me. I looked down and nearly screamed, my reflection was terrifying, my blond hair was matted and colored red from all the blood and my blue eyes were completely swollen and blood shot. Despite the brutal condition I was in, the only pain I could feel were the deep gashes in my cheeks and forehead. The only wounds visible in the water.

I sat there for so long that when someone grabbed my arm the heat suddenly made realize how cold it was. I could hear mumbling in the distance but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. They lifted me up, and the moment my feet left the ground I felt like the whole world was spinning, as I fought back the need to be sick I realized that I was being carried away from my safe place under the tree. I tried to scream but I felt so dizzy, I just focused on not vomiting.

            After I don’t know how long the moving stopped and I was plunged into darkness. Fear started to overcome me then suddenly my eyes adjusted. There he was my love, the one person on the planet that made me feel like I mattered. Unlike my unloving family who abandoned me. He was moving closer to me, slowly, hesitantly, a look of sheer terror overtook his beautiful green eyes and I knew immediately he wasn’t there to help me. I could hear someone yelling, shouting. “Kill her” the voice said and a second man pushed those innocent eyes closer. That’s when the knife in his hand finally caught my eyes and I shone even in the now suffocating darkness. I tried to scream, to tell him he didn’t need to, that I love him, to plead with him. And then I felt the cool metal plunge deep into my chest. Instantly, the people in front of me began to blur become unrecognizable, then, the pain started, like ripping from the inside and I closed my eyes to keep the tears from spilling

Copyright 2008 Reanne
Keyword:
No Comments posted
Comments (9)
Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-04-29 19:51:26
....

brutal story. her pain was relentless.
+ Report this comment
Posted by indianaman130
2008-04-29 23:24:51
ouch

well wrote
+ Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin
2008-05-04 13:38:09
....

Wow that is very disturbing. I really wish I knew what was going on and why
+ Report this comment
Posted by sgulab
2008-05-04 16:04:09
....

goodness... how horrible. what happened?
+ Report this comment
Posted by Vango
2008-05-04 16:18:16
Yeah

what did happen?
+ Report this comment
Posted by unworthy_disaster
2008-05-04 19:59:24
HEY

Use you imagination. Create your own reasoning.
+ Report this comment
Posted by Blackxink
2008-05-06 11:03:56
This is amasing

This is a wonderful piece of writing and i can tell just by looking at it that you put alot of thought and time into it. But, and this my only critisism, there are a few words that either need to be taken out or added in. There are also a few punctuation mistakes here and there. So you may want to consider revising. All up to you; keep it up, i would love to read more.

*Blackxink*
+ Report this comment

Posted by angel_of_sorrowful_death
2008-05-07 15:15:06
....

I liked it Reanne. It could be an exert from a novel, or just a quick story. Really makes you wonder
+ Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent
2008-06-29 01:15:17
....

That was pretty dark. I thought that when she was being carried away and saw the eyes of the one she loved that she was going to be safe. I liked that she wasn't because it made the whole thing better. Good job.
+ Report this comment
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 April 2008 )
 
< Prev   Next >

Remove Ads