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Short Stories Poetry Nutty Abbot
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Nutty Abbot |
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| Written by Jutta Motrin | |
| Tuesday, 29 April 2008 | |
| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 29 April 2008 ) |
Abbot was not a "normal" child.
Even during his conception, he drove his mother wild.
You see, he had converted the electrolytes in her body into laser beams
And obliterated his fellow sperm; every member of his team.
Twas when he was all up in his mother's womb
That she really became a loon.
For Abbot would carve hieroglyphics on her belly walls
And take a stroll, however tight, down her uterus halls.
Nine months later Abbot's mother spread her legs wide.
But Abbot shot out and reeled in the doctor, much like a tide.
"You fool!" he screamed, "You will not extract me from my sack!"
He pulled out his umbilical chord and sprayed the man down on his, "Attack!"
Poor Abbot, eight hours in, and he was still a trooper.
But the doctor was fed up, "I'm sorry ma'am but I'll have to induce him into a stupor.
"Sure, whatever. I just want him the damn out!"
"Sorry kid," whispered the doctor, just before they could consummate in a showdown
of joust.
Growing up Abbot was still quite strange.
At only three years old he would debate with the television in a rage.
When he turned five he plotted to annihilate the neighbor's cockatoo
And when he was ten he marveled at himself in a tutu.
Came eleven, twelve and then thirteen;
but still no one really knew what rocked Abbot's spleen.
He was soon sixteen, and handsome at that.
Many, both male and female, fell for him hard, but to him they were flat.
He read many books;
Got awkward looks.
Bobbed his head to electronic beats;
Wished he could push the onlookers down sharp steeps.
Later in life he was able to synthesize the jazziest melodies with the hippest of hops.
But never did he stoop their level and call his father pop's.
Ah, yes, Abbot was quite unique.
He had even (at least) succeeded in drenching that blatant cockatoo in Clinique.
Comments (11) |
 04-29-2008 12:07, The humor and rhyme brings a smile to my face. » Reply to this comment...  04-29-2008 12:44, Hey! Why didn't you tell me you had something new on here! But anyway this was pretty funny. and it's amazing how you were able to keep it so funny in a rhyming format. haven't read a funny poem in a while. usually don't care for humorous pieces but i did laugh at this. » Reply to this comment...  04-29-2008 14:08, Well done boss!!! » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  04-30-2008 02:16, Funny stuff! » Reply to this comment...  04-30-2008 19:54, hheheehehe!!! just couldn't hold that smile,,,,, .these poeple here are laughing at me because , me alone am smiling just looking at the computer screen, hehehheh this one;s funny.. » Reply to this comment...  05-01-2008 10:58, I love how silly and strangely worded this... your creativity is really unrivaled. I love the "twas when he was all up in his mother's womb" bit, that for some reason really made me giggle. » Reply to this comment...  05-04-2008 09:41, just wicked good. I really wonder at that little box of thoughts you pull material from. many times I read your material with envy - I truly lack the creative twist you exhibit. electrolytes to lasars - it just cannot get any better than that! write on! » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  05-04-2008 10:54, Funny poem jutta...liked it alot. But I think you meant to say on the first line of the third verse that (nine months (earlier) abbots mother spread her legs wide. Sorry,,,couldn't resist. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  05-04-2008 21:07, A very funny, surreal piece, loosely based on the story of my life (how did you know all that by the way?) Good to see you having fun with rhyme, well done » Reply to this comment...  05-06-2008 07:35, This is very cute... » Reply to this comment...  05-06-2008 17:49, haha cute poem. » Reply to this comment... |
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