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there are a few scenes running on my mind..i dont know if its about to come true..(december 2007)

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sitting beside him, i feel protected and nervous at the same time..there wont be certainty for tonight. everything is hanging or about to be hanged.

he looks at me with worried eyes..not watery..never will be watery..

‘im still confused..’ he says..his voice wasnt shaking..it was said with hesitation though..

‘what do you want’ i reply in worry..

‘i dont know’

i held him close..tight as possible..i knew it’ll be the last..i felt my tear glands tell the tears to come out but i refused to let it..my throat hurt more and more as i held it back, then finally a burst..burst of tears..there were no sounds though..i was crying quietly..i wanted to speak without him noticing the shaking..

‘i enjoyed every moment we spent together..every air we breathed..every look you gave me..’ i tried to sound as normal as possible but the fact that i said it slowly gave him a clue of what’s happening..

he tried to push my shoulders to see what’s with me..but i refused to let go..i still wanted to hold him close.

‘thank you for making me feel like a princess..making me feel like i have something to treasure..making me feel like there’s no other happiness than this..’ i continued with that slow voice..

he was holding me tight too..but i felt very deserted and alone..so alone for the first time..

i knew i wont experience this again..never feel like this again..and i dont want to ever again..it’ll be different next time..everything would be different..

i tried to feel his face..his hair..his hand..his eyes..his nose..his mouth..his lips..i cant kiss them again..damn..i cant again..so i did for the last time..it was the sweetest most poisonous kiss i have ever tasted..i wished the poison would kill me..so that’ll be the last pain i’ll ever feel..i didnt want to let go..but i knew i had to..

‘dont forget about our love..’ were the last few words that came out of my mouth..

i wanted to stay a bit longer but i was afraid it’ll be harder for him to deal with it..i didnt want him to make me stay..but i badly did..i badly did want to stay with him..live the bahamas life he wanted..go abroad together..and even run away from everything and everyone..

***

why am i hurting my throat??

***************
and for some reason..
now, i know its happening..or it already happened..

goodbye..
'i wont forget about our love..'
(january 2008) 

Keyword: sweetest..

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Comments (2)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-04-29 14:31:08 .... i'm a little confused. but is she about to break up with him or is he about to with her. and if she is why is she doing this? sorry, but i would appreciate it if you wrote me back on what exactly is going on haha. but aside from that i thought this was very well written. i liked the sadness and pain evoked in here. apart from my confusion i thought it was good. + Report this comment
Posted by jolope 2008-04-30 04:52:36 ok.. sorry for the confusion i caused you..:D the boy wants to break up with the girl..but the girl knows that it will be hard to for the boy to do so.. so even if she really doesn't want to..she breaks up with him just to settle things.. cured the confusion?? i hope so..:D + Report this comment

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