|
|
|
A Walk By His Side! |
| Written by Jamie Ann | |
| Monday, 28 April 2008 | |
|
Share it:       This Is A True Story!
I never expected it to happen. Life had led me to be untrustworthy of many. I joined the Army a couple months before Ray. We didn't meet until March of 2007. We were both Private(E-2)'s. He caught my curiousity not only because he stuck out because of his persona but also because he was Native American. Something I rarely saw in my journey through training in the first eight months in the military. My first outstanding memory of Ray was in the classroom at the Wecome Center on Ft Carson in Colorado State. We were in formation for the morning and suddenly without notice someone passed out. He was standing just a few soldiers away and everyone looked. To my surprise it was him, The tallest guy in our formation just passed out! What was I to think? I talked to him a couple times in the six days we were at the Welcome Center and even had a detail (clean up duty or other type of duty) with him and several others. On our final day at the Welcome Center we went our separate ways never knowing life had something for us beyond mere aquaintance. Several weeks passed in which we didn't see each other yet were within yards of each other really. I was sent to the field for my first time to support training for the tank crews (I'm a Fueler in the Army). My phone got busted in the field the second day out. I honestly can say I was irritated by this. I made it through the last six days without my Cell. When I got my four days off on my return to the main part of Ft Carson I was able to get a new phone. I returned to my barracks that morning and just passed time by doing nothing at all really. For dinner I decided I would either go to the Dining Facility or to one of the local fast food places. I had just stepped outside when I ran into Ray again. This time we were smart and exchanged phone numbers. We texted each other often that afternoon and later that evening I was bored and told him so. He invited me to join up with him and one of his friends at a local Tattoo parlor where he was getting a new tattoo. I met them there. From then on our friendship grew. Funny thing was we found out we were in the same Battalion just different Companys. In Mid May 2007 we were sent to Ft Irwin, CA to the National Training Center for Pre-deployment training. He and I had our cell phones with us, he had permission, I didn't. We texted every chance we got and my trust grew. As I was in a sort of relationship at that point he and me tried to keep things light. It didn't work. As much as I fought it I fell for Ray, Hard. My boyfriend, Ron, back in Colorado didn't understand my dilema much. It tore everything for us apart. I broke things off because I didn't want to treat him unfairly. Ron was disappointed and tried to stay friends with me but as my history went I did what I did best, broke his heart. I'm sorry it just happens. I knew I couldn't be happy in a one sided relationship. We returned from California, Ray three days later than me. Our friendship was one with Benefits before the Training Center and became more so after. Unknown to me, thought the signs were there, I was pregnant with Ray's child. I knew it was his as Ron, who was now ex-boyfriend, was sterile. I had bled for two weeks, almost constantly my first two weeks of training so had thought nothing of it (Later finding this was my miscarriage of the first twin). In the end of July we had leave because our Unit was to deploy soon. I went home to Utah and Ray went home to Wyoming. It wasn't a happy time for me as far as things between he and I went. Yes, I was excited and happy to see family but my second day home I miscarried my second twin(this just a few days after getting an ultrasound). I hadn't told him about the twins (not that I knew they had been twins until just recently). We had a different arguement while we were both separated. Nearly tore our friendship apart. We bandaged it shortly after our return from leave. It wasn't the same as before, I truely still don't think it is the same now but time has a way of healing. Word on our deployment to Iraq came soon after leave. December was the month we would be leaving. So times became rough at work loading things up and getting ready to deploy. My health had never been good during my service in the Army and in October I found out why. My hips were giving me problems because of a problem called Trochanteric Bursitus. A problem where the fluid sacs which lubricate the joint were becoming irritated by constant movement, most likely running and such. My knees were a different matter because of Patelo-femerol Syndrome. A muscular problem involving a tendon connected between my knees and thighs. Mentally I was diagnosed with depression which was only deepened by my military experiences. My orthopedic doctor recomended a Permanent Profile and Medical Board, in otherwords I would have permanent limitations while in the military and I would be Honorably discharged because of my medical problems. I was both relieved and distressed. Relieved because the Medical Board would then help me to get out of the Army where I could take time to heal and perhaps one day return to my regular active self. Distressed because now I had to sit by and watch my Friends and Unit deploy, something I both wanted to do and didn't want to do. I was torn as I watched each of the people I knew so well leave post to go away to fight the War in Iraq. I suppose I'm lucky because Ray didn't have to deploy just yet because in late August 2007 he tore his ACL and MCL both ligaments in the knee. In November he had reconstructive surgery and was giving a six month recovery period during which he couldn't deploy. This upset him more than he let on at first but soon he is supposed to deploy. Its now nearly May 2008 and as he awaits word on the exact date he is supposed to deploy I wait on orders. Which I'm supposed to get this week. I will be out within two weeks. My greatest worry at the moment is having to watch him leave. Ray and me have been inseperable for nearly ten months now, I would always sneak to stay with him in the barracks. In January I got an apartment off post which he moved into with me. We have spent nearly every hour during each day together. Not being apart for more than 24 hours at a time. Though we both know it will be no more than friendship for us I can't shut off my feelings at the drop of a dime. If anything my love for him has grown more and each minute counting down toward him leaving for Iraq is like a small chip into the wall I have built up against heartache. Even though he doesn't like me to I know I will cry when he leaves. I will worry constantly, wondering if he is okay. Nothing and no one will stand in my way when he gets back from Iraq and I get to see him again. I know the last seven months of the deployment is all he has to go through but for me those months will drag by slowly, I know this because I will love and worry about him so much. He is my heart, he is my strength. All I ask is that he be brought back home safely. He has been here for me through everything and I hope to return the favor for him. I never expected to Trust someone so much to be able to break down the wall I had built around my heart but there he was and my wall crumbled. I love him and that love will never die!
********************************
Support our Soldiers. Support the War. Support what you know is right even if you think it is not wise. We don't fight just for the people in Iraq. We don't fight just for glory and fame. WE FIGHT FOR PEACE! WE FIGHT FOR HAPPINESS! WE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM! Here's something to think about when you are cursing the government and hoping they will bring the soldiers home. If we don't fight in their backyards and cities the fight would be in ours! Yes America is strong and puts up a good front but if we don't fight there the war will come to us here and every American will see War first hand Soldier or Not!
I Love My Fellow Soldiers And Support Them In All They Do! May God Watch Over Them Every Minute!
Yours Truely, Forever A Soldier, SPC Taylor, F Co. 1-68 CAB 3rd BCT 4th ID Copyright 2008 Jamie Ann |
|
| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 10 June 2008 ) |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
via Email
