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Written by Matthew
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Friday, 25 April 2008 |
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3/26/08
In the frayed darkness I see shadows. Shadows of persons walking about in my bedroom. I immediately got up from the comfortable position on my bed in order to scare away the shadows. When I only came to realize that the tables were now turning, see, I was the frightened one now and there wasn’t a thing that could be done about it. I was haunted by the gesturing shadows which seem to multiply every other second. See, at first from my frayed vision at the bed there were only few, but now I am closer and of more perspective I now see the many more with their vast appearances. Do I dare persist in my scaring… or am I the one who cannot withstand the fright. I am now in a deadlock between my bed that I was once so sleepless in and the shadows. Seconds pass as if minutes and my thoughts are persuaded to be entirely focused on the shadows since they are now hovering over me. Their breath seethes upon my neck, which brought a shock to me considering shadows aren’t known to breathe. I glance over at my bed which was now apprehended by the shadowy figures. I had no where to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to even look nor observe now that the shadows were nearly everywhere. Anywhere and everywhere I went it seemed that I was inside the shadows. They overwhelmed my room and my sight and now kept me still as if under a diving bell — I couldn’t breathe. I shut my eyes so tight it began to hurt; it hurt so bad I opened them. And when I did, I was laying in my bed again. I looked around and touched around. First feeling the soft texture of the bed, then my chest which pounded from the scare I received which was only a nightmare, I gathered. I gave a deep breath of relief and my eyes dwelled upon the open space until a shadowy figure came into focus at the rooms end. I squinted and blinked a few just to make sure it wasn’t my impaired vision… and I began to pamper once again. Then I stopped. Giving a slight grin and staying put—starring into the unseen eyes of the shadow. For I now wanted to experiment what would happen if I do not move and show no emotion of fright or terror, but to show the shadow that I am not afraid and that I can stand up to my fears — become strong when in the presence of them, and not to fight back… but to show how at ease I was and my state of indulgence. The shadowy configuration went through my door and left me in peace. I came to terms that when encountered with a fear, or when in a state of apprehension, or even brought about to annoyance… you should not fight it nor encourage it, but to look at it as if nothing. You should act in showing not a single emotion towards it, and leave it be. Only then will you truly overpower these lows and become the high. Only then will you defeat these vermin and become the almighty. Only then can you consider yourself a man, not of constant anxiety, but of dignity and courage.
Copyright 2008 Matthew
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