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A gloomy gray outside funeral day where kids are asking their parents if their dad laying mint in the coffin is really sleeping and why he wont wake up..  woozily pushing on his shoulder to wake him…a heart broken mother with a shattered face  says, yes, kids, hes sleeping in heaven now… but then… Ahh hello kids, how long was I asleep in that grave? Huh, was I in heaven? Kids, I have some good news and some bad news.  Well, The good news is, there is no hell. And, well, the bad news is—you may of guessed… there is no heaven.. either. haha no no im kidding kids, there is a heaven and so help us all there is a hell. Theyre both as real as santy clause.. and by the by, have you guys been good while daddy was away?… but seriously kids, I really have some good news, and so you might of guessed, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance... OHH Undead—DAD!.. hahaha.. and…. SCENE. Lights fade. Exit kids right, exit dad and mother left. Lights fade in. Enter Third grade class. Cue o Christmas tree jingle from old lady at piano.

 Ohhh Christmas tree oh  tanning balm, how lovely areee yourrr  sea--sons  oh tannenbalm ohh  tanning balm, oh how wie ist due fir clickeeennnn… OHH  wie ist die,nor  wie heisst duu glock gluu die eck-aaaaaaa! Naturlic  sie, nein ich habe nick tannnenballlm……. And so on…you know the jingle..

Keyword: porcupine esoid undead apple lumosity

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Comments (9)

Posted by The 13th 2008-04-25 01:42:52 .... CUCKOO... CUCKOO... + Report this comment
Posted by 1800 2008-04-27 14:51:02 .... Of course Santa is real, but he died at the Bundy's house, so if you see Santa, it is really Al Bundy. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-04-27 15:32:07 ohh al bundy could climb down my chimney any day + Report this comment
Posted by jt conner 2008-04-28 11:10:21 .... Your stories have a theme in the sense that they were given no effort when you were writing them. I just seem to give up when trying to take what you write seriously, but what I assume is that you are trying to be funny when the reality is that you could not be farther from that. I am sorry, but I am just being honest. I suggest you take your time and really work on something instead of scribbling down a peice that probably was quicker to write than it was to even think up. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-04-29 14:01:30 heresy! slander! ... but i can understand sometimes my stuff gets so sublime its subliminal... to the untrained eye + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-05-02 20:06:45 .... im sorry but i just did not like it. it was too short and i felt like you didnt put any effort into at all. i know it sucks to get a neggative comment but i have to. maybe rewrite the story but put alot more thought into. maybe try an outline. those seem to help with getting ideas across + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-05-02 20:09:46 .... another thing to do would to describe the dead santa's adventure in the afterlife more vividly. + Report this comment
Posted by MeredithsMontage 2008-06-11 04:53:06 .... ? Not getting it. Sorry. + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-06-14 21:07:32 .... That might have been a funny story if I had taken some magic mushrooms and not actually read it. Then I would have laughed for sure. + Report this comment

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