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A Brazen Shame


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Written by Esoid Elvoniche   
Thursday, 24 April 2008
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Peruse the idea of destroying whooping crane habitats to make room for peanut butter and jelly sandwich making factories… e = mc hammer bite sized squares

     - An Einstein named Albert

 

It’s a brazen shame… I don’t know my head done just piped itself off my old odd body oddly and zipped its way to an island 4546 miles north from south from here.....  when .. Steve died the other day .. he died..It was a roused bomb on the road.. it budded like a thorny rose or a dawn moonflower ...i imagine..  but where did it blast him? where in the world did he whirl him off to? can I visit?.. I mean—May I please go visit him? Where’d he.. go?.. Where the **** is he now...and  then well then just don’t tell me the aliens arnt coming…cause why would they visit us.. if they existed.. That’s the worst broiled kingdom argument ever… ****.. Are you Christian, mama? Are thou then telling me that this god built,, created this universe the world outside,, these snowy trees, these spring summers, and that he then.. created us?? And we’re his reflecting hues of excellence and achievements we’re its sons?? …  I cant even assemble a ******* bicycle… I wanna make a goddamn planet.. in days no less.. or at least a village where people wreak feet from their face and heads on their toes… so  then where do we go from here there and  then to where… hopefully an island 3435 miles south northwest from here. in an ocean with sinking ships?.. Raped ships sick from waging war.. warping my path through seas of drooping altars.. God these little piggies haven’t felt white haven beaches in soooo long now.. can you just show me one thread of light…. or will you need it to floss out the bloody stool bleeding through your teeth cracked sideways… I hope not… because you look like you caught a splash of the gout bout

Copyright 2008 Esoid Elvoniche
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Comments (8)
Posted by ThomasP3
2008-04-24 16:56:47
....

I have no idea of what this is about. Sorry.
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Posted by Xena
2008-04-25 15:16:58
its about

flying monkeys
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-04-27 13:54:02
,,,

Its a (brazen shame) you don't have any talent in writing. You should focus more on your writing then commenting....btw, this story is an insult to any flying monkey.
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Posted by 1800
2008-04-27 14:47:57
....

Maybe you should have let the flying monkey make the story.
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Posted by Xena
2008-04-27 15:34:25
ay

they told me it was good... and i plan on turning this into a three piece epic trilogy
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Posted by Fortune115
2008-04-29 07:30:06
....

It's absurdly difficult to follow, even for an extremely sylized piece. You only have a few lines to make the reader decide they should spend their time reading your work. That being said, I think it's both immature and in poor spirit to bash another person's work, even if you don't like it. At least have the decency to offer some constructive criticism.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-05-31 07:26:41
....

better things to do than read this story again:

take a gun to your head

sit on couch and do nothing

ANYTHING REALLY THIS STORY IS A WASTE OF TIME!!!
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Posted by Dr Lucifer
2008-06-24 16:48:11
It's Different

Well, yes and no. I see a creative mind and I liked your attempt to put these images on paper. Keep trying. You'll get there.
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