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DemensThis story may contain adult content. |
| Written by Jason Black | |
| Tuesday, 22 April 2008 | |
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Share it:       Clair is an old acquaintance of mine, but I hardly ever spoke to her until theater. It's high school now, and in theater we've been assigned to find a partner, and make a nice film that would impress the class, at least 1 hour long. I thought no big deal, she'll pair us together and it'll get done. But it wasn't like that, when people started getting together, I went to the teacher to ask whom my partner was. "I don't know, you're to pick your own, remember?" I sighed real long and hard, I knew no one in that class, and didn't really like anyone either. As I looked around, I thought I saw everyone paired up, an odd number maybe. Right before I turned back to the teacher, I noticed her there, in the corner. "Clair", I said under my breath, "Uh, um, Clair! Hey, over here!" Though she dressed, and usually acted gothic, she seemed real happy to see me. She raised her arm, waving wildly, grabbing her stuff she half ran across the auditorium stage to where I was. "Jason! Oh I'm so glad your not taken, I don't know a soul in here!" she hugged me, I patted her back, a little nervous, "Yeah me neither, I was all ready to do it on my own." She giggled, and then turned as the teacher started to speak.
"Now class, this is to be a major grade, so make it really good... if you want a B." Clair turned to me, "What a *****!" I laughed, not expecting such an up beat from a girl clad in black. Then the bell rang, I groaned, knowing a Calculus test was next. "What's wrong?" Clair asked, "Nothing, just a calculus test... god I hate that class." she thought for a little bit, "So drop out!" "I can't, parents expecting me to pass, help to get scholarships." "Well in that case, skip!" I was taken back, I hardly ever even thought of doing that. "I don't think..." "C'mon, skip with me! I'll be lonely if you don't come..." I looked down in to her big, puffy eyes, then down at those sexy legs coming out of her black mini skirt. I decided anything was better than test after test (it was Friday after all). "Alright, but we're going to my house..." "No, no! My house! Or at least drop by there, so I can change." I thought about it, "Ok." She shrieked with excitement, and hugged me again. "Here we go!"
We walked down the big, main hall real slowly, blending in with the crowed coming in for second period. By the time we were in the parking lot, the crowed had thinned, and the security had caught us walking the opposite way. I thought we were screwed, "C'mon!" She grabbed my hand and ran, as fast as possible. "Where's your car?!" I took the lead, not wanting to be caught. "Here, here" I pressed the button to unlock all the doors. Boom, we were in, but not off the hook quite yet. Security was still coming at us, having seen us get into my civic. But, their 30mph golf cart wasn't going to cut it, I screeched my tires going in reverse, then again going forward towards freedom. "OWW!!!!" Clair screamed with excitement. We were on the freeway, and, free. "So where's your house?" "Oh, really Jason? Thanks!" She kissed me on the cheek, and then gave me directions all the way there, all of which I paid very close attention to,
I was going to wait in the car, but she tapped on the glass and told me to come inside. I sighed again, then turned off the car and followed her in. It was an old house, 70s I guess. As we walked past the living room, she yelled to her mother, " Hi mom, I'm home." "Get out here Clair, you got chores to do, and why aren't you at work yet?! God damn-!" Clair closed the door to her room. "Yeah she's a ***** too..." She smiled, and then went into the closet. "Alright, I'm going to change, no peeking!" She said jokingly. Though, she left the closet door cracked as she did, "Sit down, and get comfy!" I really didn't want to stay much longer, but then threw the crack I saw her bra fall down. "Oh... alright." I sat on her bed (which was covered with panties, bras, etc). As I was trying to get at a better angle, she came out, "Caught you!" I gulped, sweat began to collect, then she gave a playful laugh, "No peeking I said!" She was in a black bra and panties now, but just that. Then she went over to her dresser (right in front of me), and bent over, skewering thru the lower draw, mumbling something, then she jumped up with and even SHORTER skirt than she had on before. "Yes! Found it!" She put that, and a clear, black lace shirt on. "Ok, ready!"
Her mother was screaming at not only her, but also me, all the way out to the car. "Who's that boy, get your chores done! I'm locking the doors tonight, Clair!" "Clair, she locks the doors, you're screwed. You better just stay here, to have a place to sleep." She looked up to me, "Why? Can't I stay at your place?" she got in the car, I stood there for a little bit, thinking, and then got in. On the way to my we really got some conversations going, it appeared we had a little more in common then we thought. I parked in the driveway, as normal, and got out. Before Clair had a chance, I locked all the doors with the remote. I laughed as she struggled to get out. She begged and pleaded, laughing along with me, I unlocked the doors eventually, but she flashed me before I did. I grinned at her as she walked past me and into the garage. As I turned to walk in, I saw her bent over in the garage, mooning me. "Hehehe, kiss it! Kiss it!" she laughed as she slapped that fine ass at me. We eventually got in.
She laid her stuff on my bed and hopped on, starting to jump and see how high she could go. "I bet I can touch the ce-" she looked up to my loft, and my sloping 30ft ceiling. "Hey, wow. That a second story or what?" "It's a loft, connecting me and my brother's rooms. It's a real pain in the ass." By then she was already up there, "This is neat! A little hot, but, neat. Hey, come up here!" I proceeded up. "C'mon, sit down!" She patted the seat beside her. She already had the TV on, and was in a comfortable position with her legs folded under her, leaning back on the couch. I sat besides her, feeling the heat of the loft, and her. Yawning, "I'm so tired!" she wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head against mine, trying to watch TV while falling asleep. By the end of the program she was dead asleep on my side.
Slowly, not wanting to wake her, I wrapped my arm around to her back, supporting her as I let her down to the couch cushions. As I let her down, I came down with her, face to face as she slept. She looked so peaceful, so... beautiful. While I was looking at her, her eyelids slowly raised. I panic, trying to get an excuse out, but before anything happened, she raised her head, kissing me so soft... I didn't know what to think, except to just enjoy the moment. It was short lived; she was asleep when I broke the kiss. "Great, she won't remember a thing..." I stood up, grabbed my comforter from my bed, laying it gently over her. "Good night, Clair." She smiled as I said it.
In the morning I had made eggs, like normal. My whole family woke as normal to the awesome aroma, but Clair seemed to sleep till twelve. Something un- heard of in my household on Saturdays. However, when she did wake up, I had a batch of eggs ready for her. She walked into the kitchen just as they were finished, "Mmm, what smells so good!?" I turned and grinned at her "My special, scrambled cheese eggs." "Yay!!!" She grabbed the plate from me and ate like a horse. "That was delicious! Thanks Jason, I haven't had a real breakfast in so long." I smiled, "No problem." But it WAS a problem. I had missed Saturday morning mass to make her breakfast. C'mon, you didn't really think it was JUST my eggs that woke the family, did you?!
"Where's your family, Jason? I didn't even see them last night." Sigh, "You came in so quick and fell asleep like that, they still don't know you're here." "Oh... and this morning?" "Saturday morning mass." She looked worried, "Oh Jason, did I make you miss that? I'm so sorry! I really should get back to my house see-" I grabbed her arms, turning her gaze to meet mine. "You're not going anywhere, Clair! I know how bad a mood your mom must be in, I want you to stay here for the rest of the weekend, ok?" Her eyes got big and puff again, "Really Jason?! Oh, thank you thank you thank you!!!" She hugged me once again; I smiled at her as she broke back. "You look just like you did when I kissed you last night, Jason!" I nearly choked on the milk I was drinking, "You remember that?!" "Oh yes, and the sweet good night, you're so thoughtful!!!" I slapped my head as she walked away, I didn't know what to think now. "Oh Jason, could you help me get this thooooong off?"
Ok so we didn't do anything, it turns out she jumped me when I came in so excited. We talked and watched TV for the rest of night, though we did get to bed at a decent time. Monday morning I woke up on time, not expecting anything because it was another Monday. Now, I hadn't forgotten about Clair, but then I forgot things might be different due to her being there. Slowly I walked into my bathroom and took a quick shower, dried off, and then I opened the door... Clair was standing right in front of it when I opened. "Hey Jason! Where can I change? I didn't want to barge in on anyone's room or anything so I thought I'd ask." I was standing naked in front of a very hot girl, and she didn't seem to notice. I slowly raised my arm, pointing to some door. I didn't even think what room it was. As soon as she turned away I slammed the bathroom door shut and wrapped the towel around me, tight.
After the towel was wrapped on I walked as slow as possible to the den, sitting to watch the TV. Now I had gotten a decent amount of sleep, but the weekend was so hectic and exciting, I used all the energy that would normally be saved for watching all the football games. So, as a result, I had no conception of time that morning. I watched TV for half an hour, and then walked back to my room. I realized it was getting late and that I need to change, so rushed thru my door pretty quick and was at my dresser before I notice it. Clair was standing right there in her thong, and nothing ells. I started freaking out and backing to the hall when she spoke, "Hey, it's ok! We're even now, right?" She asked smiling... oh God, she did notice. "Anyways it's no big deal, just topless!" She winked, then turned and put a lacy black bra on.
Soon enough we were in the car, but as I started to take off, I stopped. "Clair I REALLY don't feel like going to school for a little bit." She looked at me funny. "I have some projects due today and they happen to not be ready, so what you say to skipping ‘till forth?" Clair's eye lit up, "Good idea, Jason! And we have fourth period together, smart thinking!" I grinned and drove off, I happen to be very hungry too.
After we ate a few corny dogs from Sonic, my treat, Clair felt a little ill. I took her home and then got to school about the middle of fourth period, so just listened to the radio in my car until the bell rang. When it finally did ring, an eternity later, I stepped out of my car, locked it, and started walking towards the side entrance. As I walked past the security guy, in his gold cart of course, he gave me the evil eye. I just walked past him, with the birdie on my back. I got to my 5th period class, IPC, and was surprised to find out... it wasn't 5th period... it was 6th. Late already, I half ran half walked to my 6th period, in the middle of the school. "Oh ****, art." I mumbled under my breath. "Yes! Art! And you're late Mr. Coleman, sit down and get to work." And there's the ever- perky Art coach, Mr. Browner. I didn't mind him, but he was just a little too perky for 6th period, especially on a Monday.
As I set my stuff down, I saw her. "Oh God..." I thought. Beautiful as always, Christen Dane walked past me, to the pencil sharpener. Now I liked Clair, a lot, but Christen was different. She wasn't as aggressive as Clair, but then, she wasn't as defensive as the other girls. She was semi- popular, mostly in Band and Art, the latter of which I am involved in, yet that didn't seem to affect her attitude towards anyone. I'm saying she was really nice when she could have been a ***** and I still would have adored her. We talked almost every day... she was there. Because she was such a good Art student, real talented and on good terms with the coach, she got to go to lunch early a lot. In fact, she probably could have gone to lunch early everyday if it weren't for Greg. She only went when Greg came, which was often. However, when he didn't come, she was stuck in this boring- as - hell Art class, with people she talked to every so often, and then me. She was here today, and, thank God, she was going to stay. I only have one girl each year that I act like this for, and she was the one this year, obviously.
Several Weeks Later
Clair is moving to Virginia I found out. A little bit of a blow, but quite frankly I was ready to move on. In the past few weeks we had slowly grown apart, far apart. It got to dread every time we were to meet up, a half hello in the halls, etc. So it would seem that I could pursue Christen? No. I also found out that she has a boy friend. Found out it was Blain, a friend of hers and mine, had finally gotten the courage to ask her out. They had been going out for a while now. I guess their close, I don't know. With a hint of relief I moved back to plan B, hangout outside of school. We'd get a lot closer than we ever would for five minutes every day in school, and maybe something would happen, who knows. My first goal was to gain her trust, with that you'll have a very close relationship with anyone, no matter his or her relationship status.
It was now Thanks Giving Break, thank god. A whole freaking week to splurge on what ever. And a whole week to come up with a great plan to get Christen to a movie or something with me and a friend or two. It'd be great, she be on one side of me, my friends on the other. Just the thought excited me to no end, however it also made me feel guilty to no end. Since the decline of my relationship with Clair, I had been talking, and very quickly growing very close to, an on line contact which I had just met. Melissa was a very sweet girl, I loved her to death and she loved me. Incredibly, we had gone from meeting to this in one night. Some wild break- thru conversation had led to this miraculous bonding. And we didn't use Elmer's glue, we used freaking super glue and we've been sticking together ever since, relying on each other. Unfortunately she lived in Iowa, a little far for a quick visit.
I called Christen Friday night after the tedious, yearly house cleaning my mother insists on. I was real tired, but managed to get out and convince her to go to the movies with Cole Garner, JC and me Tuesday night. When it finally came, taking forever as usual, I was extremely un- prepared. I had been getting ready all afternoon, triple checking movie times, going back and froth from choices of malls, etc. Finally I decided on Vineyards Mall 15 minutes away. It was the biggest around and had theaters connected so a perfect choice. Movie started at eight, Christen could stay out all night. It would seem like I was all prepared right? Wrong. I had been sweating all day just thinking about that night and it was 5 minutes until I had to leave. " ****!!!" I stripped like mad and dove in the shower, turning it to the hottest setting on accident. I washed up like a hobo for the first time in 10 years, getting scolded the whole way thru. I hopped out, barely dried then jumped into some new clothes. I grabbed my keys and was out the door, just three minutes behind. No worries... my driving would make up for that.
I quickly picked up Cole and JC first, "Hey man where's the chick?! You said there was a chick coming!" with a heavy sigh, I responded. "Calm it! Was planning on getting her last.... which means right now you assholes!", I yelled, half- jokingly. I was nervous.... My hands were sweating in my freezing car on the ice- cold steering wheel cover. I felt sick; I didn't know what to say once I got there. Then I reminded myself, ‘Women like YOU Jason, for how you really act.' At least, this one does.... ‘Besides' I told myself, ‘she's got a boyfriend, so act like it is! Just a friend thing!' I was done reassuring myself, but my friends were still yelling in my ear for being parked for 5 minutes. I quickly sped off, on to Christen's.
She was walking out right as I screeched to a stop (bad look on her dad's face). I opened the door for her, "Hey Christen, what's up?" I said with a slight shake in my voice. She grinned, and then hinted that I should probably get going before her dad came out. I took off slowly, but then two wheeled at the end of the street.
We got to the mall, it was packed. I hadn't planned on it, even though I had planned the whole damn thing for Saturday night. "Shit" I thought, "How the hell are we going to find a parking spot?" We drove around the lot for at least half an hour, out of the corner of my eye I could see Christen was getting bored and a little fed up. I stopped in front of the first entrance I saw. JC looked at me, "Hey man what are you doing? Remember I got arrested for parking here last time." I grinned, "Yeah I know, listen yall go ahead and get out, get some good seats. I'll come in when I find a spot." Half of me wanted them to be awesome friends, stay with me all the way no matter how much they suffered. "Yeah ok man, let's go Cole", they both jumped out and ran into the mall. I slapped my head, and then I realized someone was still in the car. "Christen go ahead, this is going to take a while." she smiled at me, "Then I guess we'll have a while to talk." I grinned as I pulled away from the curb, continuing the search.
Soon we found our spot, thank god. Only took 15 minutes more, got 2 exciting fender- benders out of it (not including us). Christen saw her boyfriend and a few of his friends; she pointed them out to me. "What the hell would he be doing here?" I thought, sure it was a little ways from my house but I thought he might be an inner city boy or something... as I looked up I saw a familiar face. Blain, I knew the guy pretty good, families were friends and such had been on a few trips together, though, didn't talk much anymore. We gave mutual waves then Christen went off with him, understandably, saying we'd meet at the theater. It was five minutes later; I had met up with Cole and JC, headed to the theaters. It was about time, Christen must be right behind us I thought. All the sudden there was some kind of commotion in front of us, some masked guy came running out of Hollister's with an old security guy right on his ass. A crowd parted in the guy's wake, giving the security guard full view of him as he ran towards my group. As he ran past us I felt a slight blow to the stomach, and a whisper "Have fun, kid!" The guy had dropped a bag with some kind of brick thing in it, and the guard had been there to see it all. Me, Cole and JC were frozen, what the hell did he give me this for?! BAM! I was tackled from the side by the old man, Cole fell with me. "He must think we're accomplices" I thought, " ****!" JC's screech woke me up, Cole helped me to my feet and all three of us were off running, for some reason I still had the sack in my hand, had some kind of death grip on it. The guard must have fired a warning shot because soon the whole crowd of onlookers was running with us. Christen bumped into me (behind us like I thought), without thinking I grabbed her hand and dragged her along, later I realized the crowd would have crushed her frail body. Not one of us said a word as we ran out and to my car, nearly a mile away amongst the steel forest of sedans and ricers. I rolled down the windows of my own ricer with the remote about twenty feet before we got there; we all jumped in and skidded off to the nearest exit. Being the newest mall around, they had the gates closed pretty fast, I did a fishtail and started heading to the only exit I knew didn't have any kind of block on it, even though it was on the other side of the mall.
As my body turned with the car, I could still feel the old guard's head lodged in my side, I thought a rib or two might have been cracked. I wanted some kind of pay back. I looked over at Christen as I attempted to dodge all the little security carts in my way; she was pale, and shaking bad. How'd I know this was going to be a bad night? I felt bad for her now... or was it for me? I wasn't sure if she'd ever speak to me again. That thought skipped as I barely dodged the last security cart in sight, the exit was right ahead. "Yo, Jason, It's freaking fifty grand dude!!! Dump it before we get out!" I grabbed the bag from his hand and threw it at the last exit we passed, smashing the face of the same old guard in the process. "Cha- Ching!" I thought. I sped away to safety at 80mph, the cops weren't called (thank god) and my plate on the backend had been stolen while I was inside. Maybe this was a good night after all..
Monday in Art I must have looked pretty bad, Christen gave me some kind of look and everyone ells just avoided me. I wasn't used to this so I got pretty bummed out and just fell asleep on my desk thru the class, and lunch, and sixth period. The ******* teacher finally got me up and I just went home, like he suggested. "Thanks" I said, my face telling him to eat ****. After I slept for a while I got up and had the urge to call Christen, explain myself if she'd let me. If she'd known my number I might not have gotten a word off, but she didn't so I got just four- give me another chance... The ‘dead' tone gave me the queue to hang up, my wits and energy were shot, and I didn't wake up ‘til Wednesday morning.
The next four days Christen was absent from school, or at least 6th period anyways. Friday I finally got around to renewing my license, a week over due. When I got there I saw Blain and another friend of mine. Before anything was brought up, I asked where Christen had been. Unknowing of my intentions, my feelings, Blain gave me a certain look. After a minute he told me she had been sick the past few days, and then was on a trip today and threw the weekend. Part of me was cautious about believing Blain's "sick" reference, but I decided not to dwell on it.
We got to a friendlier state talking a little more, I found out Blain himself had been a little late getting his renewal, four weeks to be exact. With a forgetful AP student like that, I felt less than moronic about the whole thing. My other friend Mike was in to get his license for the first time at seventeen and a half, having been on probation for speeding without so much as a permit. He would have had to wait six more months, but he got off simply for not doing it again, they called it ‘good behavior'.
After what seemed like hours, my number was finally called up. I laughed at Mike and Blain as I walked away, knowing they had at least another hour or two to wait. I stepped over to the counter and did a few exams before having my picture taken. I walked back to the counter hand out, wait for the card to be printed up, being so used to getting the costly ID's at school. I realized my mistake before the attendant noticed, whipping my hand back to my side. She handed me a piece of paper and sent me on my way, saying the card would be mailed in a month or so. I walked out of the bunker- like building having just one satisfaction- I could do this all-online next year.
As I sat in my car, the bending of cheap metal reminded me of something, I had set my sunglasses in my seat. After two more pairs that month, I swore never to do it again.
Monday I came back to no Christen, but a few very easy classes. It was the day before the state tests so all the teachers were laid back, and the students I should say were wound up like tambourine monkeys, however this was not the case. All year we had been preparing for the tests and all year the teachers had kept us reminded of the low expectancy scores, so as to avoid panic come test day. If anything, this tactic simply avoided studying all together. Band had even taken Monday off for a nice little field trip. I was quite passive, forgetting all about Christen and the test... until the morning... it was always until the morning.
I came home to find the garage door picked, the careless trespasser also leaving it slightly open. Always prepared, I grabbed a hatchet from the workbench and went ever so quietly into the house. As I entered I tried to employ the never ending espionage tactic I'd seen in multiple forms of media, poking my eye around a corner, having the hatchet up and ready at all times, and of course checking every room down the hall until I had reached the bathroom. With the light on and shower running I didn't know what to think, my brother was in tutorials and my parents wouldn't step foot in me and my brothers bathroom for their lives, but then I was surprised anyone ells did.
Figuring I had a good excuse, I finally fulfilled a life long passion and busted off the doorknob with the butt of the hatchet. I then slid in to the slippery, foggy bathroom hatchet in hand up and ready. The figure, apparently a female, didn't make any motion at all, it's like she was deaf and blind, simply enjoying herself in the shower and paying no attention to the busted door and tall intruder. Still feeling the great adrenaline, I ripped off the curtain to reveal the anonymous intruder...
She stood there in a fright, hands covering her naked body as the water streamed over her. I must have had a really puzzled face cause she started giggling uncontrollably, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth instead of her chest. "Clair!!!" I became defensive and ignorant at what was happening to me. Before she could even think to respond I slapped my hand around her wrist and pulled her out of the shower, throwing a towel at her and telling her to get dressed and out of here immediately.
She simply dried and put on some lingerie, coming into the den right behind me. "What are you doing here?? We said our goodbyes months ago." She grinned, speaking under her breath "That's what you think..." I was enraged, I grabbed her by the arm shouting into her ear "What did you say??? Just put on your clothes and get out!" She slowly got her arm out of my grasp and twisted her self behind me, whispering into my ear, "You don't even remember why we broke up... do you?" My face became beat red again, I was about to bark a reply but then it hit me, I really didn't know why we had split, other than maybe her moving, though I was sure it was before then. I just.... couldn't remember. All the sudden I was furious at myself, thinking I might have simply forgotten such an event, but my face didn't show it. I had a look of confusion, bewilderment all about me. I didn't move, I didn't speak. "What's was happening to me?" I thought. She continued to slither around me like a snake, taking advantage of my apparently self- imposed paralyses. "I'll give you a memory to hold on to... we..." she giggled, unable to control her amusement at the situation, " We... had an argument, Jason, that's all... don't you remember?" I began to speak but she cut me off, "Yes of course you do, we were right here, in this very spot yelling at each other for some silly reason... I told you I'd be back, Jason, remember? We agreed to take some time apart from each other, think about what this relationship meant to us..." She trailed off, as if to see if I was still listening to, believing her quickly conceived memories. I held on to every word, quickly taking down an account of the memories in my brain, as if to fill a hole I didn't know existed.
She grinned when she came around to see my eyes; a sense of fulfillment in them, knowing she had implanted in me what past she wished me to know. I didn't care, as long as I had a past, "Everyone needs a past..." I thought to myself. She kept a hand on my shoulder, keeping me steady when she talked. Her free hand now moved slowly across my back, caressing me as she had been doing the whole time, but now in a certain pattern, one I couldn't see, much less decipher. My anger and rage quickly melted off me like butter, and any reasoning went with it, reseeding into the depths of my brain, to remain unwanted and unclaimed... for now.
I awoke in a sweat, with Clair at my side. I slowly picked the sheets up and removed myself, trying to recount last night, nothing came to mind. I shook my head in an effort to forget anything I saw that morning and get on with my life, after all the state tests were today. I quickly got dressed and out the door, all quiet as a mouse. I put my car in neutral and let back down my steep driveway, pressing hard on the currently manual brakes and then taking off, a sigh of relief escaped me. Before I knew it I was the school at seven. "An hour twenty to go..." I told myself. "When was the last time I had a full breakfast?"
I pulled up to the Starbucks just a block away from the school. As I approached the door I noticed Christen coming out, I held the door for her as she passed me by, smiling as always. I began to walk in just as she called for me, "Jason! Are you going to be in art today?" I responded in a split second, "Yeah, of course." She grinned; the shine off her smile bringing out her beautiful face, "Good, we haven't talked in a while..." I nodded, not knowing what to say. " I'll see ya there." She grinned and headed off.
I walked in an ordered a cheesecake from the guy at the counter, not a real breakfast but what do I care? I got a hot chocolate with it and began to eat. Eventually a few friends from school came in and sat with me, I had no idea anyone ells came to Starbucks before school, this was my first time the whole year. We all talked till eight then drove up to the school, most of us regretting having Starbucks for breakfast soon after we arrived. I rushed along the fourth a mile long hallway to my class, which just happened to be at the very opposite end f the school, English. This class, in fact, was a perfect first period seeing as most of our time was spent freely, meaning sleep for the entire class. I entered the classroom, dropping my bag by my desk and going immediately to sleep in my chair, knowing we were watching a video in that day anyways. I would have slept anyways... the past day's excitement, not to mention this morning, had eaten away completely at my energy and nerves, plus the fact that film class was next. I had no idea weather Clair would be there or not. I groaned as I made my way out of English, the walk down the hall would be long, and just thinking about it would be painful. I decided to call her cell, tell her I'd see her at my house after school.
I went home and sat in my room, turning on the computer to work on a story I had been writing for a while. As I finished the paragraph I felt something slither across my shoulder, I jumped out of my chair and confronted the serpent, "Clair". She quickly slipped her self behind me, wrapping her slender arms ‘round my waist. "You... needed something, Jason?" I looked over into her eyes; they were blank as my mind at the moment. "Um... I..." I looked at her one more time, I was sure, "I'm not so sure anymore, Clair." She looked right back at me, into me. She knew what I meant. She slipped round to face me. "What do you want from me, Jason? I've done anything and everything to keep this going but you just keep striking it down." I squinted at her, the skin around my mouth curled in such a way she knew what was to happen before I spoke a word, "And you know damn well why I do, you did something to me...!" A flick and a cut, her blade had slipped between my ribs and into an unknown, but surely vital organ. I blinked, trying to look her in the eyes. I could do nothing now but try and get answers for myself, before I left. The full weight of my body fell to rely on the desk as my back slid down it, as the blood began to find it's way out of my body. Her hand left the blade in my side, to find it's way up to the side of my face, her free hand keeping me from falling. A steady stream of blood flowed from my mouth as I looked at her, pondering her intentions. She leaned in, kissing me passionately for a while, before letting my body fall to floor. I set against my desk as she slowly, very neatly pulled the blade from my side, as if not to hurt me any more. She cried as she licked the blood from her lips, looking down at me, "Now Jason, I can't have you mumbling anything, you know, to your friends or the paramedics before you die, ok? This will be quick..." I said a little prayer to any deity that would listen as I watched her walk to my closet, rummage then finally pull out my number five iron. She gave a hesitant look before becoming stern; the club head came back, and forward, striking my right temple. At the time I believed I was dead before I hit the floor, before the side of my face fell into a puddle of my own blood. My eyes stayed stiffly open the whole time; I saw everything in that split second like there was a two-hour movie based on it. Eventually I blanked out, but my eyes stayed open. And they burned... oh god they burned...
Scenes of life or life how I saw it flashed before my eyes. I saw my friends around me, in fright, another flash and a smile on every face. Yet another and I was in an ambulance, the paramedic bent over inspecting me, shouting to his partner over the roar of the storm outside. I ignored every word coming from his mouth except one, the only word I must fear from now on: Blood. I could almost feel myself drowning in a pool of my blood once more, before JC pulled me up, before the wave poured out of my mouth, sucking itself into my favorite shirt. The word repeated to me until they put me out, until I could no longer hear myself think. I awoke in a certain ward of the hospital; I couldn't quite make out the sign over the door. I couldn't make out the faces either, but all of them seemed to be of my age. I tried to focus my sight by reading the nearest nametag aloud to my self, "Carrie Harris". The figure in the bed to the right of mine turned towards me, I looked up to meet her eyes but they did not look at me, rather in the general direction of me. "Yes? Who are you?" I was still repeating the name, breathing heavily as I looked back to the bed beside mine. I looked up to meet her wondering eyes, the innocent, slightly freckled face, "I'm Jason um... ya..." My head bent down in embracement, why could I not remember my own last name? The girl giggled, my blood shot eyes looked up in rage, what kind of nerve...? Of course, she couldn't see me; she couldn't take in the heavy signs of my shot confidence, or what was left of it. "Don't you have a last name Jason? I swear I'm not a stocker." She grinned. I grinned. No matter what kind of hole I was in, a soul like her could always keep my mind away from the most pessimistic of thinking.
I lay awake in the ward that night, studying all the motionless faces as I waited for sleep. I thought a little soul tweaking might be in order... I knew something was wrong with me, they knew, everyone seemed to know just what it was but me. I closed my eyes, I feared sleep would sneak up on me, so made my way to my heart as quickly as possible; I began to look for the demon in me. If Clair had put me in this ward, what was keeping me here? I walked thru a clouded field in my mind, sat on a very soft rock and began to ponder. Her face appeared before me, from then on I knew my demon incarnated in her image, though the real reason for this was hidden. I had no mental fear of her, the physical fear was fading. She couldn't get me here I now believed, and I would look for her on the streets... if I ever got out. The demon's complexion would bother me till I faded to sleep, but now it seemed to talk, or try. The closer I got she further it faded, the more I paid attention the quieter she grew. The demon left me; I opened my eyes and went back to face watching, till I could sleep.
In the morning the nurse came ‘round with what I could only assume was breakfast, had I ate it I'm sure I would have become sick, so opted to wait for lunch. The nurse allowed Carrie to have a whiff before she decided; the look on her face after words was priceless. Her bandaged eyes turned a perfect ninety degrees to meet mine, "coincidence" I thought. "Jason, why didn't you tell me that stuff was so bad?" Her face was scared with hurt, like I had left her to fend for herself. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if you'd like it or not..." Her head tilted down a bit, and then came back up "Could you even tell what it was?" I laughed, "No." We spent the rest of the morning playing cards, the nurse had told me my parents would be dropping by sometime before lunch but they never did. It hurt; being confined in such a place and not even knowing exactly why, my parents never coming by to see me hurt. "No one but family" they said, "No unauthorized phone calls" they repeated to me day in day out. Friends weren't allowed, and I couldn't get any of the over- worked nurses to stop and tell me why, all they said was "You know why..." Sounding half sarcastic, the other half almost... depressive. It was almost like they were saying my friends had something to do with me being in here, I decided I'd find out once and for all.
The next morning I went to the first office I could find, swing the door open with ah and drama, slamming my palms upon the desk, "Why the hell am I in here?!" The pale doctor slowly swiveled round to face me in his chair, he had jumped when I slammed my hands on the desk and was still shivering. I was sorry for that, but I believed such an act was necessary to get the info I wanted. He looked me over real quick from behind his thick glasses, he seemed to take a special notice to the dark red stripe lining my, and everyone ells in my section's scrubs. He took a big sigh of what I perceived as relief, "Oh young man, I'm Dr. Isener, and I believe you have the wrong office, Miss Kelly, your over- seer is two doors down on your left I believe." I stood there for a second or two, my hands still firmly planted on the desk, not know exactly how to apologize for my behavior. The doctor, as if noticing my unease, slightly laughed, "It's ok, I understand." He gave me a weird wink, not gay or anything but like he knew something, and assumed I was in on ‘it'... whatever ‘it' was. I slowly made my way out of the very plain and barren office, apologizing ‘till the door shut.
I walked very slowly down the hall; the doors were far apart so I had a little bit of time to think over my plan before I got to the office. I didn't, forgetting myself my focus went to how dreadful hospitals were. Everything white, everyone either sick or dying around you. How had hospitals become a place of healing amidst such pain and decay? The question went to the back of my mind as I came to a door with the name ‘Dr. Kelly' inscribed in bold letters on the blurred glass before me. I finally realized I hadn't thought of what to say... "Oh well" I thought. "I've always told myself I think too much anyways..." I took a deep breath and walked in, knowing I wouldn't leave ‘till I got the info I came for.
I placed my hand on the doorknob, it stung like dry ice. I thought it was static at first so I tested it twice more, the knob was frozen solid. With the seriousness of the situation at hand my adventurous side still got the best of me. I quickly ran down the hall to the nearest bathroom, I filled a paper cup from the dispenser with hot water, and went back to the office door. With a grin on my face a raised the cup over the door handle, pouring all the water down on to it. The aluminum globe split into a thousand pieces, all falling to and scattering across the floor. The grin on my face had extended from ear to ear as I took a step back to survey the damage. "Beautiful" I thought. I looked back to where the knob had been; the other side must have either split or fell off ‘cause I could see clear into the office now. Somehow, in the back of my head, I knew none of this could be real. If I thought it was, I would have never done such a thing. I prepared myself for whatever may be behind the door, with an axe from the fire hatch that is. I tapped the door with my foot, it swung slowly open in to the office, and coming to such a stop that I could have sworn someone was controlling it. I lowered my trusty axe; the office was empty, and barren like Dr. Isener's. I exhaled heavily as I walked in, the door slamming shut oh so close behind me. "How can I be dreaming" I thought, " I know I woke up, I know I was on my way to Dr. Kelly's... could I have passed out? Why would I pass out..." My unwelcome dream cut off my thoughts, the subject of witch taking its form. I groaned, "Claire".
She faded into view like the movies, her body slowly taking shape. "Yes Jason, it's me. And you, naughty little boy, are in trouble." My eyebrows lowered as I studied her face, she was serious. "You're kidding me right?" I said, "You're the one who stabbed me, then bashed my head in with a golf club." The sick ***** grinned, "Yes, with a nine iron if I remember right... but that's not the point Jason. You've done something much worse, something I can't even see me doing to you." I was enraged, "Oh yeah, and what's that?!" She abhorred my attitude, but before I could scold her something swooped me off my feet from behind me. I was thrown back into this chair moving on it's own, and brought right to the front and center of the desk. My head was still facing down from the force of the chair, looking into my lap. Before I could raise it to meet Clair's face, I saw her arms. They wrapped around my waist from behind, her hands connecting like a seat belt of sorts. I quickly looked over my shoulder but no one was there, then my view shifted back to the desk. She had been sitting there the whole time apparently, her frown turned to a grin directed at my bewilderment. I quickly checked my hands but the axe had fallen to the side when I was plucked from the ground by the chair. I tried to get up to get it but something held me down. I looked to my lap but the arms were gone, only their strength remained, keeping me in place. You know how they say that dreams bring out the height of your emotions? Well it's true, for me at least.
I hung my head as I sat in front of the desk, almost snarling as I breathed. "You *****!!!" I spat as I yelled, my words having no echo, even in such a small office. "Jason, I'm talking about the last time we ‘met'. You faded me out. You didn't want me there, you didn't want me anywhere." She must have sensed the doubt in me, "Weather you realize it or not you did do it Jason." My temper began to rise again but I quickly subsided it, knowing this was my entire dream and that I had simply confined my self to it... I closed my eyes, trying to do whatever she believed I had done last time. I pictured her fading once more... I tried ignoring any sounds I heard; I urged my conscience to wake- "I think not Jason!" My eyes opened with her shout, she brought her self forward in the chair, leaned over the desk and slapped me. Three gashes were left from her unnaturally long, black gothic nails. I breathed heavily, my head hanging to the side. "It's becoming too real" I thought. How could I not control my dreams? My characters and demons? She grinned as if reading my thoughts.
Suddenly her face turned to pain, she put her hands over her ears, cradling her head. I looked around me, was I doing something I didn't know about once more? Something caught my eye, where the wall meets the ceiling...Water leaking from the roof? No, water was never so... dark... "Oh my god" I thought, "Blood". It began to come down from every side, very slowly, as if it was being held back. I looked back to Clair, she was a wreck. Her makeup faded and her nose bled, her blood shot eyes looked directly back at me. "Jason I can't hold this on you, though I wish I could." The blood was held at bay on the walls, but I did not go away, and this by whom I could only guess was she.
I woke with a glaring headache, the likes of which probably would have knocked me out again had my aspirin not been ready on my nightstand. I took them quickly, nearly coughing up the water afterwards. As my fit subsided, something in front of me caught my eye. I don't know if it was instinct or what, but I just kept staring at it until my vision cleared, making it all well worth it, until the girl who's bottom my eyes beheld turned around. Before I knew it she was staring at me, her hand on her thigh as if she were striking a pose. "I- I um... see, I was choking, you can't blame a sick person!" She giggled knowingly, "Well you are a guy, and I suppose hurting you would only help your cause, eh?" I looked at her confused, what did she mean by that?? "Hey, it's ok!" she continued, "I was kind of close to what you're in now," she said as she walked towards me. She was clad in black, her tight shirt tucked into her even tighter pants. Everything seemed to be tailor cut for her, the pants perfectly forming to her gorges bottom, the shirt seemingly wrapped around her chest. Everything was nearly skin tight. Not to mention her fair skin tone and beautiful face, her Asian form being a common passion of mine. "Yesss??" She said as she stood at my bedside. "Um, uh, were you seeing family or something?" I said as I hinted towards the bed in front of mine. "Oh" she said in a gloomy voice, "Yeah, my cousin came in here after he tried, well, you know..." I didn't know, but I had a feeling it was a soar subject so I let her go on. "But he's out right now, so, thought I'd confront my butt's admirer." She grinned as the words escaped her lips, I couldn't tell if she liked me or if she was just enjoying the look on my face, but it was too late for me to find out. Some one called from the hall, "Oh, I gotta go..." She looked down to my name tag," Jason, see you later, eh?" I nodded as I admired her... walking out. I let out a long sigh as I rest my head on my pillow, ready to sleep once again.
"Coleman!" The headache came back as my lids peaked; the unusually loud nurse came down the aisle, stopping at the foot of my bed. I blinked as my eyes came up to meet hers, "Yes?" I said as she stared back at me, almost, looking past me. "Oh!! Oh..." she giggled as she looked through a packet she held, some kind of list. "Jason... Coleman?" Her voice was almost purely abhorred, "Yeah that's me." She made some little mark, looking back to me: "Well, up, up! You've got an examination today!" If you were a visitor near her, you might think I was going to the circus by the tone of her voice. I groaned as I lift myself out of bed, my legs weren't much help and might as well have been dead weight, except that I could barely move them. An orderly rolled up a wheel chair that I greedily welcomed, lounging in it like a recliner. I patted Carrie's foot as I rolled by; telling her it was nothing big. Her smile faded, as I got further away, out of the ward, down the big hall.
I was rolled into a whiter room than all the rest, what could have been a trick of the mind but it defiantly seemed like it. The checkup was nothing like I remembered when I was on the out side, they did absolutely nothing except put me on the bed which then rolled me into a cat scan. As I was going in the doctor was telling me not to be scared of the pitch black, I was guessing he had either dealt with a lot of kids or a lot of nut cases cause he was practically holding my hand the whole way in. I had to almost be a little rude to get him to back off.
I was soon emerged in the dark, in some strange way a part of me felt at home. No one to bothering me... no one to make fun... I was master of my current world in a way. My imagination took hold; I pictured my bloody throne atop a mountain of charred remains and skeletons. Or was it I? Why would I ever be part of such a cruel existence? I tried to focus my thoughts, zoom in on the personality in a way but time wasn't on my side. The room lights poured in as I was pulled out, I'm guessing the procedure was over.
The light ended as my eyes passed the threshold, like dawn to midnight in a flash. They didn't really turn off it's just... the light coming from outside the scanner stopped once I came out, looking back I could still see lit up inside of the scanner, but how? It was pitch black outside. A flash and a thud, my gut felt like it had just caved in on itself, and Claire appeared upon it. "Jason! Oh how I missed you so, though I guess I never really left huh?" She grinned as she starred into my eyes, I tried to fight her, even just talk back but my breath had left me when she hit, and it didn't look like it was returning. "I've finally figured it out Jason, I have gained more control than ever before. You don't believe me?" I just starred at her with wide eyes, wondering what she was what thoughts riddled her head. "This could hurt but.... Well, It doesn't matter anymore." I started coughing, a pain in my chest appeared and began to expand rapidly, I looked down to see my hospital gown ripped, gallons of blood spitting and flowing in all directions, and Clair's arm in the middle of it. Her arm kept going in, further and further I could feel it going. It was as if every nerve in my body was ripped out and put to a sanding belt, the pain was unbearable. I saw doctors and nurses surrounding me, all just staring on as Clair dug herself deeper and deeper into my chest. Copyright 2008 Jason Black |
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