I spotted the Meter Maid walking away from my car as I exited the college campus. “What did she do!?” My mind screamed immediately as my body leaped into action. Sprinting across the one way street towards the southwest corner I deftly dodged the oncoming traffic to the sounds of horns and mild death threats. Before the civil servant could escape I landed on the scene holding my hand up in a stopping motion. Grabbing the ticket I investigated it quickly coming upon the 10 minute expired meter charge in no time. Looking up at my meter I witnessed the laziness and sheer depravity that resides in the black heart of this individual and her kind; there was still five minutes left, every single one of them paid for.

“What is this ****?” I questioned raising the ticket up. “I still have five minutes left!” The maid, a short plump woman with permed hair stared at me with alarm from her vehicle. “It’s a ticket.” She said defensively. “Yeah a ticket I don’t deserve.” I said striding up to her. “Take it back.” She continued to stare at me but this time it was with superiority. “I can’t do that sir. You’ll have to repeal it in court.” I was dumbfounded. The maid had refused my sensible request thus enraging me. “What do you mean repeal it in court?” My voice was rising and my hands instinctively clenched themselves crushing the ticket along with my civility. “I still have ******* five minutes left and you’re gonna ticket me because you’re too damn lazy and self righteous? Well **** that and **** you.”

Holding the ticket at chest level I allowed my hands the privilege of ravenously shredding this injustice. The maid’s eyes popped open in shock. “There,” I said victoriously smiling, “no more problem.” Narrowing her eyes at me she grabbed her receiver with her chubby arm and brought it to her round sagging face. “Dispatch I have a situation at 11th and Q St. requesting a squad car immediately.”

Within seconds a patrol car rounded the corner with its cherries blazing. Parking behind the maid the officer exited his vehicle looking sternly at me with his hands resting on his belt of malice. “What seems to be the problem here?” he asked in the standard cliché. “Well,” I began, “this woman over here gave me a parking ticket when I still had five minutes left.”

Leaning over to view the meter the officer responded, “doesn’t look that way to me. Your meter’s expired sir.” Looking back in horror I realized this to be true. “But I had five minutes left.” I said defensively, refusing to give up the fight. “Sir if it bothers you that much you can repeal the ticket in court.” “How the Hell am I going to do that when the only person who can back me up is the one who issued the ticket prematurely!” I yelled throwing my arms in the air. “Sir I’m gonna need you to calm down.” The officer said. “How can I calm down when I’m getting a ticket for something I didn’t even do!”

Turning to the maid I thrust out my finger stating, “I’m gonna pay this because there’s no way I can win this. But if you do this to me again ***** I’m gonna,” “Mace him,” she said interrupting me. Turning my head over to the officer I came face to face with a black and red can. And that was the last thing I saw.

Pressing down on the trigger the officer covered my eyes in an acid that would burn all the way down to my brain. I could feel my eyes slide down my cheeks in a thick goo as I screamed into the sky in pain and defeat. I blacked out and woke up on the street with a pink ticket taped to my chest. “This war isn’t over,” I said clenching the ticket in my hand staring up at the moon. “Not by a long shot.” To be continued?