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This is Sidney Wattlehut reporting live for ILKH news. What you are seeing behind me is some sort of accident involving two large tanker trucks it seems these two trucks were carrying some sort of toxic chemicals from Darken Inc. Im getting reports that my fat ass shouldnt even be standing this close to the crash, as one day I could wake up with an extra arm or leg. Reports are still sketchy on the reason for the crash, but the local houses are being evacuated for safety precautions. More information will be reported as it arrives, back to you Larry.
The three of them sat looking at the TV; Wheaty was a little scared PieFace had the opposite reaction - this was the first time anything even remotely cool had happened in their hometown. The most exciting thing had been the time the oversized llama had broken from its cage & went on a killing spree up & down Winker Street. But that wasnt even half as cool as biohazard chemicals being spilt just a few blocks from where they sat. They could actually smell the smoke, and it smelled like burning bodies which actually wasnt as cool as it sounded. They wanted to see it, so PieFace shot out the idea to sneak to the crash site & take a closer look. Wheaty & Cletis agreed & they headed out the backdoor. Theyd have to sneak behind the Petersons & Leslies backyard in order to get to the crash site without being tackled by the police.
They snuck behind the houses quickly, following the big billows of black smoke & the screams. The screams were a little odd, the crash had happened about 45 minutes ago who would still be screaming? It was probably those ******* old people good for nothing sons-a-bitches. After a quick jaunt through some of the neighbors lovely back yards they were finally there, with a small jump over the fence they had a perfect view. It actually looked worse than it had sounded on the news not only were the two trucks destroyed & overturned but there were a few other cars caught up in the carnage. Fire had spread a little & destroyed one of the apartment buildings on the corner.
This shits pretty cool! PieFace said excitedly and Cletis sort of agreed. But there was something odd where were all the people? There were 2 ambulances & a half dozen police cars but no paramedics or cops. There werent even the normal busy bodies snooping around looking for a reason to wake up in the morning. The more they thought about it, since the crash they hadnt seen anybody no one had walked by the house for hours. Cletis stood up and walked out near the road looking up & down the street something was wrong, it was a little like the twilight zone. Where the hell is everyone? This place is way too quiet. Cletis said & the two girls quickly caught up with him they all headed for the crash sight.
Once there, they found nothing to help them figure it out it was like everyone had just vanished, without a trace. And thats when they heard it, the groaning & shuffling of the feet. Wheaty & Cletis knew the sound almost immediately it was like the sounds were coming straight from Resident Evil Zero. Cletis looked to the left & there they were. There had to be a dozen of them there flesh rotting off as they slowly stumbled towards them. Something to the right caught Wheatys attention, she looked another 10 of them. PieFace gasped catching everyones attention they were surrounded, Cletis looking back to see that they were coming from behind too.
Hurry up, follow me! Cletis yelled out as he ran around one of the overturned trucks & into one of the houses. The two girls followed close behind. The place was empty. & Cletis didnt care too much to find the owner he placed a chair under the door knob & headed for the back door. His mind was racing, having no idea to handle this situation he could really use one of those shotguns or a green herb. As soon as they were out the back, they were blind sided Cletis & PieFace were knocked down by one of the large zombies. PieFace looked up to see Wheaty was the lone one standing, she tried backing up the steps but was grabbed from behind PieFace noticed the one who had grabbed her looked a lot like Eminem. Such a weird thought to be having as you watched your best friend about to be eaten alive.
The Eminem zombie leaned down & latched his jaw onto Wheatys shoulder she screamed out in pain & then with such swiftness elbowed him in the chest her elbow sinking nearly all the way through him she jumped down off the stairs barely missing the two that stood at the bottom. She reached down helping PieFace off the ground. Cletis stood up & brushed himself off We need to get you to the hospital that looks bad. PieFace nodded but Wheaty wanted none of it. No one will be there, theyre all going to be zombies. She was right they had to get somewhere safe so they could stop the bleeding. They headed off, headed back to their house. Hoping the bite wasnt too deep & they could stop it before it was too late.
When they got back, they saw it the house that Wheaty & PieFace use to call home was a mess. The zombies had broken in & trashed everything. Overturned furniture & broken glass cover the floor of the two-story house. Here hold her. Cletis said, running over & flipping the sofa over they needed something soft to rest her on. PieFace quickly laid her down on the now right side up couch. Cletis went upstairs to the bathroom looking for anything to help clean up & stop the bleeding. Cletis was a little worried, hed seen tons of zombie movies & played Resident Evil millions of times he knew that it was the bite that caused infection to spread. He just hoped that was all Hollywood bullshit & not real life. He managed to grab bandages & medical tape & ran back downstairs.
Wheaty was still alive, just no longer conscious. Cletis applied the bandages & covered her up. All him & PieFace could do now was wait, & hopefully when she woke up she wouldnt be hungry for brains. Do you want anything to drink? Cletis asked, PieFace looked like hell she was stressing major & he figured a nice glass of cranberry juice would cheer her up. She was addicted to cranberry juice like black men were addicted to fat white women. No one knew why, they just were. She gave him a half shrug, so he figured hed at least pour her a glass if she didnt drink it, she didnt drink it. The fridge was pretty bare, luckily their was a peach Snapple iced-tea & about a glass full of cranberry juice in the bottom rack. He grabbed the peach Snapple & poured the drink then he headed back to the living room.
It had been hours since she was bitten & she was now just barely showing signs of waking up soon theyd finally get a handle on what kind of **** they were dealing with. PieFace had been kind enough to tell Cletis her 4 digit safe code. He had grabbed out a pistol & a shotgun with plenty of ammo, for protection incase any zombie decided to try & bust into the house and to possibly kill Wheaty if it came down to it. Cletis heard the coughing looking over Wheaty had finally come to. He stepped over to her, looking her over carefully her skin was a little clammy but it wasnt rotten & she didnt have the hazed over eyes they normally do. If she was infected she still looked like the same ole Wheaty.
How are you feeling? PieFace asked, running her hand along Wheatys face. Im Im good. Wheres Mumbles? PieFace & Cletis looked at each other, who in the blue hell was Mumbles? Maybe the infection caused you to blubber at the mouth with some of the most retarded **** known to man. Ugh who is Mumbles? Cletis figured hed bite what was the worst that could happen. The guy the person who bit me, where is he? PieFace looked at Cletis again, with a look of get the gun painted all over her face. We havent seen him since we were at other house why? This **** was beginning to get strange, Cletis was worried hed have to put a bullet in her head soon. He cocked the gun just incase, getting a dirty look from PieFace for it. I just want to see him, see if hes okay. No. PieFace immediately yelled out they would not be going on a ******* wild goose chase for some smelly ass zombie that had nearly killed Wheaty.
I have to find him, I just have to. She said jumping up from her position. She headed for the door with purpose; it took all of PieFaces strength just to keep her inside the house. Im in love PieFace, cant you see you two are just jealous. I want a family. PieFace had no idea how to take this ****; it was starting to become unreal. She stuttered for a few seconds just trying to figure out how you respond to someone telling you that theyre in love with a zombie & want to bear its children. Wheaty tweaked out once again, knocking PieFace over & running out of the house. Cletis ran over & helped PieFace to her feet. ****, now theyd have to go on a wild goose chase. Wheaty had lost it.
The two of them had searched every side street, every parked car on the way to that house where they had been attacked. They had run into a couple of zombies but with the shotgun & pistol, they didnt get within 20 feet. The house was the last place to look, they just hoped she was alive and hadnt been eaten on her search for love. They cautiously stepped inside the house, so far nothing the place was trashed but no zombies were rambling around inside. They made their way through the first floor it was time to head up the stairs & check the rest. As they made it to the top of the stairs, Cletis heard something as they got closer to the bedroom so did PieFace. But the noise they were hearing shouldnt have been heard in their current situation. They made it right to the bedroom door, the sound was now crystal clear they were hearing exactly what was going on. They braced them selves & with one quick push the door came swinging open revealing something that made Cletis hair to stand on the back of his neck PieFace barfed all over the floor. Cletis just stood their, the **** he was watching might have been the most traumatizing scene he would ever witness. Right there on the bed, he was watching getting absolutely RAILED by the zombie. Pieces of flesh flailing off with every thrust it was just a horrible thing to see if it wasnt for PieFace he may have just offed himself but she looked like she was worse off then him.
PieFace had finally had enough, she didnt care if either of them had nutted this had to stop. She grabbed the zombie by his rotten skull & flung him backwards, crashing through a nightstand - thick brown blood oozing out of his cut open head. She slapped Wheaty across the face wiping the dreamy gaze off her face & then threw her the clothes that lay on the floor next to the bed. Get dressed, were leaving. She snapped out her hands on her hips, she meant business.
Wheaty slowly got dressed but wouldnt leave without Mumbles, she kept repeating his name. If they wanted their friend to come with them, they had to bring him along there was no other way around that. After a brief mini-conference PieFace & Cletis agreed - & the three of them headed for the border. Hoping things were better on the other side. Wheaty & Mumbles hand & hand PieFace & Cletis still scarred from the incident that went down less than an hour ago. It was going to be a rough few weeks, they could only hope the world wasnt completely over who then would make the stuff for cheesecake & pistachio pudding? These important questions had to be answered.
To be continued ... someday.
Copyright 2008 Justin Carminati
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