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My Fate - Part II |
| Written by Rowena | |
| Wednesday, 16 April 2008 | |
Next day at breakfast I met Aarav. He was so opposite San. He was talkative and full of mischief and he didn’t care what anybody had to say about him and when he noticed I was lost and had swollen eyes and he at once knew at once that I was missing San. “He is an idiot, I tell you Simran. Just don’t worry what anyone has to say just pack you clothes and I will take you to him. He called me this morning and I gave him a good lecture so let’s just go and interfere with his case, he said with much satisfaction in his voice.” I wanted to go to Sandeep but was scared what others would say. After much argument, Aarav suggested that we should go out shopping. But instead of shopping he took me to the airport and we flew to Sandeep, he promised that we would be back home before anyone would notice that we were missing. It was just after 4 when we arrived outside the courtroom. Aarav ran up the stairs and got Sandeep who was very excited to see him. They came down stairs running and punching each other like schoolboys. When Aarav opened the car door for him to get in, he was shocked to see me there. He was lost for words and couldn’t believe his eyes that I was really there. “Common bro. You can do better than that, Aarav teased him. Just hug her or at least kiss her once or do want me to show how things are done, he said laughing.” Sandeep smacked him and hugged me while Aarav kissed us goodbye and went running to Sandeep’s car and the driver took him to the airport. We drove to a mall where we did some shopping, as I had not brought any clothes and went back to the Shriven House. This house was not as big as the one in Delhi but it was pretty. San was lost for words; he kept hugging me and told me he was really missing me. I tired to be angry with him but he made me laugh. He called his mum and told her that I was there and that I would be returning with him Thursday afternoon and we went out to the garden for tea. The housemaids, the gardeners and security came to see me one by one. They all were very humble and were all so happy to see me. After tea San went back to the study and I went to the kitchen to check what they were preparing for dinner. At first they were scared but when I started talking to them they allowed me to help them. I felt so at home helping them and I made some sweets for them and took some for San. He was busy with the case as he had two more days to go but Thursday was just hearing so he was preparing hard for Wednesday. I felt sorry for him and gave him the sweets. He took a bite, pushed them aside and kept making notes. I dragged a chair next to him, took a spoon and started feeding him. He looked at me, kissed me on my forehead, smiled and went back to work. He was busy but I was getting bored thus I pinched him on his side and thighs and played with his hair. I bit him on his arms and he shouted in pain and he chased me out of the room. I laughed with satisfaction for disturbing him. I jumped on the bed and laughed loudly. San came running to see what I was laughing about. He too jumped on the bed and we started a pillow fight. The fur came out and was flying everywhere in the room and it looked nice, so we pulled more out and made them fly in the room. He pushed me on the bed and started kissing me passionately. I could feel in his tongue on my lips and in my mouth and his hands were all over my body. He held onto me firmly on the bed as I tired hard to push him away but he was far too strong for me. I managed to bite him hard his lips and he jumped up in pain, and as he did we heard a knock at the door. In haste, we had left the door open and when we saw the maid standing at the door we both jumped out of the bed. She told us the dinner was ready and went away and we burst into laughter and hurried downstairs for dinner. San sent the cleaner upstairs to tidy the room while we ate. After dinner, San went back to his study room while I watched a movie. I don’t know when I fell asleep leaving the movie running. Around 3 I woke up and noticed that San was still not in bed which made me furious. I walked into the study room and slammed the door, which annoyed San. “What do you think you are doing, I demanded to know. It’s three in the morning and you still up. Do you ever sleep?” He tried to calm me down as he didn’t want to wake anyone and in burning rage I slammed the door again and went to bed crying. San followed me but I was not prepared to listen. He tried hard to cool me down but I pushed him away. “Aarav is more caring than what you are, I told him crying. He knew that I was missing you and he brought me to you but all you are worried about is your damn case. I not saying for you to sleep with me or have sex but at least you can be next to me when I open my eyes.” Sandeep was lost for words. He kept quite and turned the lights out and soon we both fell asleep. Next morning I got up early, had my shower and went to the kitchen to make breakfast for him. When Sandeep got out from the shower he was surprised to see me in the room with the breakfast. He hugged and cuddled me and got me wet with the water dripping out of his hair. He got dressed while I fed him and he made me run after him with the food like a kid. After breakfast he kissed me and went to work while I went to see what the maids were up to. During the day I had few things rearranged in the house and had the maids do a massive cleaning up. San came home during lunch and he looked very relaxed and told that the case had finished and rather than the hearing being tomorrow it was that same afternoon and asked if I wanted to join him as it would only take an hour or so. “I was more relaxed today in the court room because you are here. Thank you for coming and now we can go for our honeymoon a day earlier, he said. Thanks for coming down, you simply made my day. I was so stressed about you being alone there and my case and I was not giving in a 100%.” Thus after lunch I quickly packed our stuff and left for the court. There were a lot of media people and as soon as I got out of the car their cameras began clicking. San held onto my hands tightly and we rushed inside. The jury had already given the verdict to the magistrate so as soon as everyone was seated the verdict was read. I didn’t know what they were talking about, the guilty and not guilty nonsense, but when San’s assistant jumped, I knew he won. San looked back winked and blew me a kiss, which made me blush and I could feel my ears burning. As we walked out of the courtroom the media people were shouting for our comments but we were taken back into our car while San’s media advisor and assistant handled them. From the courtroom we went straight to the airport and back to home in Delhi. By the time we got home it was pitch dark and no one seemed to be home. We had dinner and then we went upstairs to pack our bags for our honeymoon trip. I was really excited that finally San will be with me and we could spend some quality time together as I wanted to know him better. I knew I was falling in love with him as he was so caring and loving, but I wanted more of him, some more quality time together to know him better. It was a hot night but since I had bit of flu San preferred the air con not to be used. He placed few pillows and lay on them with bear chest whilst I rested my head partially on his shoulders and his arms on my side and holding him across his chest, while we watched a movie. I fell asleep and started dreaming about my village. I could feel that someone heavy was on me and as I tried to push it off I woke up and found San on top of me smiling. He kissed me passionately on my lips and when I responded back he gently kissed on my neck. He pulled off his shorts pulled out my nightgown. As he tried to push inside me I got scared, very scared. I pushed him away and he could see in my eyes that I was scared and not ready for it as yet. He gave me my clothes and walked into the bathroom. We he returned and I apologised but was glad that he was mature enough and understood me well. He held to me tightly and we fell asleep. The next morning there was a lot of rush around the house. San’s dad had gone to attend a case and had left some documents behind in his study. Aarav was having breakfast while we were ready to leave the house. Aarav was supposed to take the papers with the driver but dad called again and wanted San to come with the papers, as he needed to discuss about something. Whilst the discussion was going on I went upstairs to get San’s phone. I was still upstairs when San left and when I got down I noticed San was not around and Aarav was still at the table eating. “Hello Simran, he said with mischief in his voice, trying to get something out from me on the previous night.” “Nothing happened so just keep quite, I told him. Where is San?” “He just took the papers to dad. Why what is wrong? Are you missing him already? Eager to start with the honeymoon I suppose, he teased me.” “Why did he leave without saying anything?” “Don’t worry; he should be back in an hour’s time. You might have to catch another flight but yes you guys are going today. And when you do return I want good news as I am fed up being called the little and naughty one in the house.” I smiled and started walking towards the door. I could hear someone shouting but I could not make out as what the person was saying. I ran towards the door as Aarav followed me. It was the gatekeeper and he was crying and shouting and we couldn’t make out what he was shouting about. “Accident madam, accident!” I ran towards the road with Aarav behind me. Just outside the house a truck had crushed into a car. From where I was standing I could not make out what the car registration number was so I went outside the gate and walked fast towards the car; LAW02 that is San’s car. I started running fast, very fast and Aarav was just behind me. I pushed the crowd aside, heard someone say, this is Simran Shriven give her way. I pushed my way to the car, Aarav just behind me getting people off me. San was still in the car, part of his body hanging out of the car and there was blood everywhere. I grabbed him and held him up so that he could be comfortable. “Call the doctor Aarav don’t look around, I shouted.” Heard police and ambulance pulling up and getting people away. The paramedics and the fire people got San out of the car and laid him on the road. There was lots of blood and I was covered with San’s blood. I was still holding onto him and Aarav was holding onto me. The chief of the paramedic looked up and said I am sorry. “I know you are damn sorry about the accident and I am too but what is wrong with Sandeep, why is not saying anything, I demanded to know.” “Madam, I am sorry, he said again. He is no more.” Aarav screamed loudly and ran towards the truck driver. He threw few punches at him and the driver fell on the road. “He just got married, he shouted. That is his wife there. Do you see that, that’s his wife,” and he continued to kick him. I held tightly onto San in shock. I was sitting on the road covered in blood, my brain was just dead. I looked up and cameras were flushing everywhere so I pulled San closed to me and covered his face with my veil. I didn’t want anyone to see him; I just sat there in shock. The paramedic tried to get him into the ambulance but I was not letting San off my hands. Aarav came and sat next to me and he was crying loudly. I pushed him away from us. I wanted to be alone with San. “Let him go Simran, just let him go. The paramedic will take him to the hospital.” I looked up at him but held onto San. The paramedic team loaded San in the ambulance and drove off. Aarav held onto me tightly and took me to a waiting car and we followed the ambulance. Aarav was crying loudly as he called his dad on his mobile. “He is dead, bro has gone, he shouted and cried on the phone.” Aarav was kicking and punching the car seat and the door. He was acting just like an insane. I just looked at him; there were no tears or emotion on my face or in me. As the car pulled up at the hospital there were lots of people around. We were quickly taken inside a room where San was and the doctors were checking over and over on him. “We are really sorry Mrs Sandeep Shriven, but he is gone.” I walked backwards and leaned against the wall. Just than the door opened and San’s parents came in. “I was coming to drop the papers dad, so why did you call bro? He is gone dad, he is gone, Aarav shouted at him. Whatever you wanted to know why you didn’t ask him before you left. You knew he had a flight to catch, he kept shouting and crying.” “Why Sandeep, why couldn’t you ask me about your damn case. You have ruined Simran’s life dad, you have just killed her husband.” Aarav was shouting at his dad as I just looked at them with a blank face. His mum was shouting and crying and after a while they all turned around to look at me. I was still standing against the wall covered in blood. I saw them approaching me; I looked at them with millions of questions and as they approached me, I lost conscious and fell on the floor. It was getting dark outside when I opened my eyes. I must have been sleeping for ages, when I opened my eyes I could hear cries downstairs; it was my mum. I tried to get up but I could not move, it felt as if someone had pinned me down. With lots of efforts I got out the bed and I ran downstairs. Everyone was there, my parents, sisters, brothers and San’s family. When they saw me they all stood and tried to come towards me. I pushed my mum away and ran outside. The gate was wide open thus I ran straight to the accident site. It was all cleaned up and there was no site of any accident. “It was just a bad dream, I thought to myself. But if it was a dream where did the blood on my clothes come from and why are my parents here and why is everyone crying.” As I turned around Aarav held me. “Let’s go home Simran. We have lots to do and prepare for.” “Did you see Sandeep, I asked him in a low voice. You smell like him. Did he hug you? He took me back inside the house crying and everyone joined him. I didn’t want to be around them, as I could not take the crying anymore thus I walked back to my room and went straight into Sandeep’s study room. “Aarav take me to San please, I begged him as he followed me in there.” “Why don’t you take off these clothes? You can have your shower and we can go down to the hospital to see San, he said.” I walked back to my room pulled out the dress I was wearing, folded them and placed them in a bag and placed them in San’s cupboard. I quickly showered dressed up and opened the door to go out but found Aarav sitting at the door with food. As I opened the door he stood up and got in the room. “I am hungry. Why don’t we eat before we go down and see him?” I didn’t want to fuss with him so I quickly ate while Aarav walked around the room trying to hide his tears. Soon after eating I feel asleep as if my food was tempered with. Next morning I woke up and saw some white clothes on my bed. I showered changed into the white clothes wore heaps of bangles, as San liked and went down stairs. As soon as everyone saw me coming down the stairs they started crying loudly. San’s sister, Deepa, came and took me to the main living room. It was full of people and in middle laid the casket with Sandeep in it. I walked hurriedly towards it and sat against the casket. Tears rolled down my eyes but I was not crying like the others. I pulled the casket lid off and touched his hair and ran my hands on his eyes and face, he was sleeping in peace at last. He was not worried about any case that day. After few rituals we were told that he would be taken to the crematorium. As they picked the casket everyone started to cry loudly and followed the casket. I followed them till the gate and lost conscious again. The next few days were very painful and I just wished I had died with him that day in the car accident. I was weak, very weak and only wished death. On his final death ritual I was dressed like a bride and taken to the bathroom by his sister and his mum and my bangles were smashed against the wall. I didn’t cry I stood there with bleeding hands and looked at them but they didn’t have the guts to face me. I had a million questions for them but no one had a single answer for me. The door opened and Aarav rushed in.
“What the hell you guys think you doing? Just leave her alone for god sake just leave her alone and he pushed everyone out of the bathroom.” He took me in his arms and I started to cry loudly. I pushed him away and closed the door behind me. I must have been in the shower for ages. I picked up all the bangle pieces and cleaned the shower. Finally I came out and found Aarav sitting on the bed. “Simi they might send you away to your village for few days as a ritual. But I will come to get you soon so don’t worry about anything as I will come to get you.” I packed my bags and left home that day with my parents. When we arrived home there were lots of people waiting for us but I didn’t want to see anyone. I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. I lit up few candles and carried them around the dark room. I was broken into a thousand pieces and didn’t know what to do with my life. I didn’t know how to piece myself together. Around mid night I walked up to the rooftop. I felt as if Sandeep would grab me and will just kiss me like old times but there was no Sandeep at all. Everyone in the village were really concerned about me, as I was not talking to anyone and kept myself locked in the room. I was missing Sandeep so much. Why did his case finish a day earlier I kept asking myself over and over again. Why didn’t his dad take the papers himself? Why didn’t Aarav take the papers? What was so important that his dad had to talk to San and not Aarav? That last morning that I spent with Sandeep was so different. He teased me about how I got scared when he took my clothes off. He teased me all morning that particular day and even took my towel away, while I was in the shower. When I told him I would step out of the shower naked and as I opened the door he came running and wrapped me in the towel and carried me to the bed and choose my dress. San was gone but his memories were killing me day by day. Copyright 2008 Rowena |
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| Last Updated ( Monday, 12 May 2008 ) |
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