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Asyiar |
| Written by Asyiar | |
| Saturday, 16 June 2007 | |
Couldn't the man have picked someone else to rape? Perhaps some poor, helpless woman wandering the streets? Of all the people, he just *had* to pick one of nobility and dignancy. And now she was stuck with nowhere to stay, and a child on the way. She had no idea what she was going to do. There was no one to rescue her, no one to save her. And the child was due in only a few months tops.......She had delayed telling her parents, obviously, afraid of their reactions to her being pregnant. And it had been exactly what she expected. They disowned her has hard headed as any other person who hated someone else would disown the other. It was like they hadn't been her parents at all for the past 16 years. Blood and ashes, what was she to do now? Kill the child. A cool voice whispered to her, inside her head. Kill the child, and all will be solved. Twitching slightly at the thought, Asyiar pondered the idea for a few moments. It was the truth. Perhaps if she killed her child, her parents would let her live at home again. It was a good idea. The more and more she thought about it, it was really a good idea. But would she kill it while it was still inside of her, or would she kill it after its birth? Kill it after it's born. I'm certain you could find someplace to stay for a good few months. The cool voice whispered to her again. Yes, she thought, pure bitterness filling her own voice now. She could find a place to stay. In fact, sleeping around this very river would be decent enough. Food was another issue. Perhaps....Well, perhaps she could go into the city and steal some of it. That was a good idea. If she could get away with stealing, that was. It really wasn't that hard to catch a large, pregnant woman such as she stealing food. But, if she ever intended to live at home again, that would have to be what she would do. Carefully, she lay down on the ground, kicking back to relax - much as a pregnant woman could relax comfortably. Things would be all right. They would turn out just fine........As thoughts swarmed her mind, thoughts of what might happen in the future, she smiled happily - and slowly fell into a deep sleep. ---- Months later, Asyiar held the tiny baby in her hands. It was a little girl. And Asyiar hated the bloody thing with all of her heart. It cost her her home, her family........It cost her her life. This thing did not deserve to live. It was an ugly, squirming little thing that she could easily get rid of. And she would. Drowning the thing would be simple enough. And afterwards, she could tie some sort of weight to it, go deep in the river, and let the little lifeless corpse sink to the bottom - no one would find it, then. Easy enough. And so, leaning down closer towards the water, shuddering as the thing screamed and cried pitifully, she held its head in the river. It kicked and shrieked until she had a headache, but eventually ceased with moving. Dead. The bloody thing was dead. Quickly, she removed the ribbon from her hair and tied it to one of the feet, and picked up a rock and wrapped the other end of the ribbon around it. A weight. Sighing, she removed her dress - clad only in her shift now, and swam out into the deepest parts of the river and dropped the body. Sighing heavily, she swam back. Once she was on land again, a smile formed on her face. She was free of a burden. Free of the heartache and pain of having a child and nowhere to live. Free.......Free at last. And now she could return home. They would ask questions of course, but she would only say she lost the baby during pregnancy, and hope that they would allow her to stay at home. Quickly, she walked home. Once she came to the front of the building, she hesitated in knocking, but finally did. Her father answered, and the moment he saw her, a grim look crossed his face. "What do YOU want?" He demanded bitterly. "To come home," she replied. Their eyes focused on each other for what seemed like a lifetime, before he finally peered down at her stomach. "What happened to the child?" She hesitated before responding. "It died while I was giving birth." His blue eyes stared into her green ones for a long while before he finally responded. "Fine. You are welcome in this home again. Just don't ever let it happen again." --- Only days later after she was accepted back into her house, Asyiar was regretting having killed the child. She didn't know where those voices had come from in her head, but she knew for a fact that they weren't good, and she also knew that if her parents knew about them, she would get disowned again. Honestly, she was surprised that she hadn't gotten disowned for things before all of this.......But in truth, Asyiar had been sucking up a great deal to her parents all her life. The only thing she hated about them, was that they didn't listen to her side of the story about anything, and they jumped to conclusions all the time. As Asyiar was realizing that she truly did love her child, and the voices were in the way of her loving it, as well as her parents, her sanity was slowly slipping away. She made herself believe that killing was a good thing, and what she had done was right. The voices helped convince her, and make that conclusion. And as days went by, the voices continued to help influence some things that she did. It wasn't that she *let* them make her decisions, but they were a great influence. Her parents hadn't noticed anything wrong yet, but she knew that soon they would, and she was afraid of what would happen when they did. Would they think she was crazy? It wasn't like she could help the bloody voices.......Would they simply try to get her some help, somehow? Perhaps a potion or herb or anything......Maybe even Healing from an Aes Sedai, if it was possible to heal insanity. Asyiar doubted it, though. And so, as she went on with her days, insanity slowly over took her. Because of the fact that she still loved her child, and she knew she could never bring it back and give it a chance in life, and because of the voices....... Copyright 2007 Asyiar {moscomment} |
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