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The Birth and Death of a Gang(ster)(s) This story may contain adult content. |
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| Written by Esoid Elvoniche | |
| Thursday, 10 April 2008 | |
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The Birth and Death of a Gang(ster)(s): The Trials and Tribulations of Two Bright Eyed Kids Looking to Start a Gang Empire. A Play Characters: Gustav Melvin
ACT 1 Scene1 In a neighborhood somewhere in the world, two kids shifting through the on sale clothes in Wal-Mart’s young men’s section. Shoot, I wish they had this Yellow in XXXX large.. forget it Melvin, lets go to Steve and Berries, I know they got some good yellow jump suites there.
SCENE 2 Walking home from Steve and Berries Melvin tosses out some gang name ideas. Melvin: So you think of any new good names? Like I was thinking, how about the legend indistinct.. Nana to weak… How bout The Gay lords?.. Mm I think that’s already been taken.. Ok how bout Jesus’ 12 disciples or something like that from the bible ? They’re only two of us. Ok.. Jesus's 2 disciples.. and then well just keep adding as more members join.. Ehh.. Ok how about the Holy Supper Maniacs or The Super Satins Satanic Disciples.... or heavens army.. or hells army.. I think that’s taken too… Ok how about the Latin Swede mafia.. Huh? Were not even Latino, stupid, your step cousin is half, and he lives in Ohio. Ok how bout The True Guns or the Angries or the Whoremongers? No no how about the Crips? Huh? You want people to think were crippled or retarded? Na man No no forget it well stick to our original, The American Swedish Hell Overlords of Evil, or ASHOE. OK? Yea, ok fine. Okay now lets establish our territories… how well do you know this place so far? Not that well… I know how to get to the YMCA from here, and from the Y to the mall. Hmm yea I haven’t gotten around this place much either. Well let’s start at our houses for now. And we need weapons to keep our territories safe and ashoe only zones, and of course for intimidation. If we want to make it in this industry we have to let people know were serious, we can’t let our selves get bullied or well get no respect from nobody –We need to show we mean business. I have a few bats and other things we can use and fashion into weapons; you got anything, any Ideas?
Well.. Not really.. My parents just got a new set of kitchen knives… Actually they’re the miracle cut ones or whatever you see on TV, you know what I'm talking about? You can like cut through shoes and tin cans and ****? We could really shank some foos with those.. and Ive got some nails we could hammer into the bats or some pieces of wood.. Yea yea… well eventually were gonna need some guns. We can use our makeshift stuf for now and spray paint BB guns, but were gonna have to get some real **** asap. So Now we need to set up a constitution and ranks— Hey and we need nicknames.. yea yea.. ok ill be King Gustav the Gutter .. ay ay how come you get to be the king? Cause I started this ****, stupid!.. You can be Prime Minister. OK. So stop crying.. mmm I wasn’t crying! You can be king I don’t even care. You’re the one who theyre gonna go after then anyway… whatever whats your nick name… How about Prime Minister Melvin the “Marshin” Bergman. Are you kidding… you cant go around with a cartoon name, son. Ay, Looney Toons are money, haven’t you seen those shirts—they got them at Burlington next to the Phat Farm section, Ay how do you think were gonna get any respect if people think were cartoon watching yuppies. huh? And another thing, you cant go around with your hair all combed like that, you need a cap; if you wanna be a thug you gotta act like a thug. That means no cartoons, no gay music, you gotta act tough, 24/7. Grab your crotch when you walk, as to say, hey look, this is where my genitals are. Put the seat back in your car just so your eyes reach over the steering wheel, like youre about to take a nap cause you don’t even give a ****, and jump around a lot flashing gang signs…especially when theres cameras aaround.. ay wait whats are gang sign anyway.. and shouldn’t we get a handshake… yea yea… you know the S in signlanguage? Nnn no.. its like this.. here Ill show you on my brothers signlanguage poster when we get home. Scene 3: Gustuv’s home. See melvin, here, the S, its like.. just a fist-- Ay we could recruit your brother!.. …. What?.. Hes six years old—and deaf.. yeaa soo.. we could just have him like.. count our money and like you know just have him do little things.. yea yea ill talk to him.. ok see its just like a fist..see.. yeaa but.. its nto very.. cool or unique or nothing.. how bout we stick our thumbs out in our fists like when you take peoples noses.. yea ok why not… and our hand shake? Huh….lets try this.. “slip slap”no no how bout this .. you go and lock your ring finger.. no no that’s your pointer.. like.. here with my pinky like …. No no.. alright.. hey you know the fresh prince one right… the high five and then the.. pshhh!.. Oh yea yea.. *loud slap* pshhh!.. Cool. Alright Melvin, go downstairs and get a bunch of plastic bags.. not the zip lock kind.. ill go get my dads stash.. you sure he wont notice? Yea he had a party lastnight. Hes passed out in the basement like17 year old girl on prom night.. hell think of his friends took it… ****… you have any scales at your house? Huh… Ive one of those triple beam balances… and a big digital one my mom uses to weigh cats… screw it well do it by eye… alright separate 4 piles for the dime bags, ill do a few eighths and then I we can do a qaurter, and well see whats left. Scene?: Up in Gustuvs Room. Crumble crumble, pick pick.. Pretty good stuff ay.. Yea he always gets the good stuff.. Yea I can see.. Hey melvin you got anything at your place, pills, or anything? Uh… my mom might have some leftover pills from her surgery… Yea kool you should check that out.. Yea…. ….. Hey Gust, doesn’t this just make you wanna smoke all of it.. Ha, yeah a little bit… well hey lets take a break and smoke a bowl… ….. Cmon, just one. alright Melvin well do a few… go open the window, ill get my piece. Sweet. Spark light inhale… mhhmmm… cough.. pass and repeat.. Ay gust, cough cough its done, Its done.. Alright gimme it... Spark light inhale pass repeat… Ha hoooo… cough.. damn gust so were really a ****** gang.. slangin drugs, makin the money, Man gust, man, gang bangin all day every day! Cough cough Haha hehe .. yea.. yea Haha shiiit.. long drag, exhale, pass… **** man.. what we need is to start dealing coke.. or ****.. crack Gust, crack!.. and I heard its real easy to make… like, its like, you need… like, some cough syrup.. haha and like you fry it with like sulfur or some ****.. Haha shut the **** up.. and hit the piece.. No man I’m serious, like get some coke and like fry it with baking powder and cough syrup and like.. you.. and some like other **** man I don’t know exactly but its easssy… Mm yea mm ok man mm…you go ahead and do that haha, this firkin guy.. and id know youd get hooked on that **** then too hahaha.. Haha ay I wouldn’t **** with that ****, man that shitll **** you up man.. you see them fuckers on TV man, haha all twitching and scarred up.. that shits all ****** up.. and hey hey man.. what are we gonna do if like.. like we see some other gangs, or like how do we know if there in a gang or like… Cause of the colors they wear, dumbass.. Yea but like… everybody wears colors.. you know, man.. I see some guy wearing a red shirt, now how do I know if hes a blood or just a guy in a red shirt?! Right? Ha well you ****** pop his ass just because.. hehe haha… Haha ****** right right.. Hey Melvin. What How much they payin you? Huh? Payin me for what? For babysittin that piece, SON! ah haha Ah haha. ha.. yea.. puff puff pass.. Alll right man.. its keyed.. lets. Letsaa.. Ay man im too high to clean any more ****.. lets sort it out later or somthing Haha… you ****** bastard.. alright lets go chill outside.. Scene. Outside Ahh yea this street here, this is OUR street, SON, you don’t **** with the American Swedish hell overlords of evil! Melvin Jumping up and down flashing gang sign, bobbing one one foot.. Haha sit the **** down.. damn man… But hey no really man.. how do we know if theyre a rival gang.. and like do you know where any of their terf is? **** man, we just movd out here, and we don’t even have real weapons yet! Man I cant just go walking around with a bat with nails in it! And **** man where are we gonna get a gun!? Haha.. ha.. huh.. **** well find one somewhere.. do don’t worry about it dude.. Yea.. ay.. ay .. whats the fine for position? Huh.. position and or intent to sell or.. or..? Oh **** man.. thats probly like jail time and ****! That’s NOT EVEN ****** worth it man! Sssooo what, Big gansta man all of a sudden backin out? No.. well… no.. but I mean.. like, what the ****? You think its worth it? Like like we sell the pot and whatever and get the money, bu thten what if we get in a shoot out.. and like for what? And for what?! Just think about it man! We don’t even have any guns! Haha ay haha ay man, we don’t need any guns haha well just call the cops.. Were walking along, not even doin nothing and then some bloods and crazy latin kings and spanish tortillas or whatever the fuck and the yukaza come out of nowhere and start shootin at me cause I wont take off my sweater or they know im the prime misinister of ASHOE or I crossed some imaginary line and **** or caused I looked at one of their sisters funny or I stepped on their shoes or… Haha **** man your tripin just sit down and shut the **** up.. **** I don’t know gust.. Ok **** it we'll just sell the **** to kids we know or something…. Maaan… I dunno… what if we get caught or ratted out?.. ay ay man… Steve.. you know steve right… yea well I can almost guarantee he can get us a job over at dig n save…. …. So what Melvin.. just **** it? I mean well think about it, man… we could just keep the stash and smoke it ourselves and still get money working and not worry about getting caught for selling… and we wont get killed for wearing a colored shirt.. Yea. Ok. **** it then. Gangs are pretty retarded if you think about it huh? Right.. haha like right? I mean what the ****.. why wouldn’t they just ****** merge and quit killin each other… ****.. youd think theyd know something about economics and business… well melvin the marshan that was fun.. lets go smoke some more…
Yo Esse.. … before gust and melvin can stand up a car with 6 yakuzas drive by, five shots ringing out, bouncing off the sky and echoeing through the air… ASHOE killa *****.. they drive off flashing… their gang signs..
Gustav lays flat on his belly on the side walk with his hands covering his head. Melvin?! When he hears the them drive off he squirms towards Melvin who also lays flat on his stomach, but his arms lay straight besides his back. What the ****! Melvin you ok!? Gustuv gets up to his knees and started shaking him by his shoulder. Ay man.. ohh **** ohh ****!.. ay man!.. His body lays flat as a board with his head turned to the side, his eyes still open—blank and staring into the other side, his mouth open just a slit, where blood begins to trickle down slowly onto the pavement. Gustav flipps Melvin on his back and raises his chest and head up, positioning him on his knee. Melvin,.. Gustuv says quitley, brushing back Melvins once neat hair. “Those ******* Yackuzas.. They’ll pay for this… if it’s the last thing I do. You have my word, brother, ASHOES for life hommie.” Gustav looks up into the blue sky and shakes his paw “YOU BASTARDS! WHYYY!” Gustav Screams. His face turns purple and starts hyperventilating. As he calmed down he took his friend's head and gently layed it back to rest on the bloody ground. He waved his palm over his eyes and set two pennies on each eyelid. “And for what,” he asked him self in a low voice. A teary pearl started to form on the edge of his eye, and as he blinked it rolled down his cheek and onto the red cement.
“AND CUT!” that was perfect, boys, the panda directing shouted, standing up on his hinds and clapping his fury paws furiously. Youll blow em away tomorrow night! Now lets get you guys out of those human suites, you must be dying in there! And whos up for some bamboo stalks at Bamboo Hut?! MY TREAT! *YAAYYY* If for some reason you have just skimmed to the end, you missed out on the best play since… ever… and if you have read through it all, (thanks, sucker) I hope you bring this play to the attention of your schools, and or communities play director. Or don’t, see if I care
Copyright 2008 Esoid Elvoniche |
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| Last Updated ( Thursday, 10 April 2008 ) |
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