Escaping from Shiv’s house was not easy. The house was under surveillance 24/7. There were security guards present at the gate and all around the house. All I could do was stand at the huge bulletproof glass windows and stare outside. I had not seen my mum and I didn’t know whether she was dead or alive. Shiv’s mum used to come to my room once a week or so and I never saw Shiv after the wedding night. It was almost two months and I was still locked up in the room. One day as usual Shiv’s mum came into the room and I asked her if I could see Shiv. She advised me that she will have a chat with him and will let me know.

A week had passed but neither Shiv nor his mum came to see me. I was going crazy inside the room; I needed answers but no one was prepared to talk to me. I sat near the window and looked outside, as I didn’t have enough energy left in me to cry or bang the door. Heard the door open and I quickly looked towards it.

"You wanted to see me, shiv asked". He sounded more relaxed and his shouting and aggressiveness had gone. He looked pale and seemed to have lost weight.

"I need to go outside, I told him. I need to buy some clothes and I want to help your mum around the house with the chores. I don’t want to stay locked up in this room for the rest of my life."

"I will think about it", he said and as he turned around to go, I grabbed his hands. "Please Shiv, I will go crazy locked up like this, just take me somewhere, take me anywhere with your hundreds of body guards, I just need to go out of this place." Tears were rolling down my eyes and seeing me like that, melted Shiv a bit. "Be ready at 9 tomorrow and I will take you shopping," he said and went out of the room leaving the door open.

My dad used to work with Shiv’s dad some ten years back. Shiv and I went to the same school and we had been friends for ages. He had his own set of friends at school though and he had heaps of girl friends. We were nearing our graduation, so one day he came home with his mum and walked into my room and confessed that he loved me like crazy. I liked him too, a lot, and I told him that I loved him too. I thought because he was rich and famous I would be happy with him and that’s all love is about. But since I was more into charity work I hardly got to see him or spend time with him. Whenever we did meet by chance we just hugged and bullied each other like good friends, there was nothing in between us that could tell the world that I was madly in love with him.

Shiv’s dad was a rich and famous person who worked hand in hand with the government. He was basically controlling them and one day I over heard my dad talking to him about drugs and weapons shipment they had bought into the country. The very next day Shiv’s dad was attacked and my dad was killed saving him. Shiv came home with the devastating news and I took him aside and asked about their business. He initially denied that he knew nothing about his dad’s business but later he advised that he did know little bit but he was not involved with his dad because he wanted a better life for us. I trusted him and since I was away most of the time his mum and he took care of my mum and I owed them heaps and that’s how I agreed to marry him. My mum did contact me in Lumley and advised me that Shiv had people after me, watching my every move there and I was about to tell San that but that is when Shiv and his men arrived to take me away.

The next day I got up early and went to the kitchen and prepared breakfast for myself the way I liked. I took the breakfast back into my room and quietly ate them. Shiv came in and helped himself with a toast, " you not ready yet, he asked". " It won’t take me long," I told him and walked into the shower. I quickly got dressed and walked out where Shiv was waiting for me patiently. Shiv drove me without any security, he was not scared but I was, as I knew his life was in danger because his father was a cruel man and was related to underworld gangster. He took me to a huge shopping mall and parked his vehicle underneath the building.

He walked with me into a shopping centre and told me to take my time. I just wanted to get out of the house so I told him I needed to buy stuff but at the mall I didn’t know what to buy. Finally I got some clothes and other accessories and told Shiv I was done there. He took the bags and we walked towards the car.

"Are you sure you don’t need anything else, he asked as we walked."

I shook my head and we drove out of the mall and noticed how much things had changed. I looked at all the people rushing around to do their chores. Shiv stopped at a restaurant and got some lunch and stopped at a riverbank. He got off and sat on the car while I walked along the riverbank. I was thinking of San, the wonderful time we spent at the riverbank and in the river. How can I ever forget, San? I was trying hard not to cry but I could feel my heart was bursting. I ran into the car and closed the door; thinking closing the car door would mean I have closed a chapter in my life.

San walked in and looked at me. "Why did you do it, he asked. You knew we were getting married that weekend and you called and advised that you not coming. How immature and how ignorant can you be? I knew what you were doing in Lumley so why were you fooling me?’

I kept quite for a while but finally managed to speak out. "Shiv, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Things just happened and I was coming to tell you all about it myself. I didn’t do anything that could have brought shame to your or my family. Things just happened, I didn’t know what I was doing, I was not thinking right, I tried hard to express and explain myself to him." " Plus you were not helping either Shiv, I continued. You were never there for me when I needed you. You knew how much I enjoyed my work but you choose to run your dads business and kill everyone rather than, as you promised me, that you want to build a life for us far away."

I started crying, but thought to myself what I was crying for so I stopped. " Where is mum, I asked him, he drove off and never answered me." He drove straight to my house and pulled into the driveway. I ran inside and saw my mum on the sofa. We both held each other and cried, which seemed for hours.

"He came here, mum said quietly. I gave him money, heaps of it and told him to go far away. He seemed to be very nice and he loved you heaps, she continued. I helped him with his passport and sent him to Canada."

"Canada, why Canada mum? That means I will never see him again. You very well know that Shiv and his family will never let me go there alone."

"But at least he is alive and well, whispered my mum. And I told him that you got married to Shiv and for him to forget about you as Shiv would never let you go."

"Mum, why did you tell him all that, he will never forgive me for this and who said I am married to Shiv. Whatever happened that day was not a wedding, mum, it was just Shiv’s anger and he was just upset and wanted to proof to me that he was a man but he is simply a sick person."

" No matter was the circumstances were, you are now married to Shiv so at least now be faithful, forget about San and continue a happily married life."

"I am not a book, mum, I told her that can be read and thrown in the corner or read whenever people please to do so. I am a human and I can make own decision, I said with bitterness in my voice."

"You will get killed and you will get San and me killed in your stubbornness too, she said angrily."

I kissed her goodbye and went back to the car. Shiv was in the garden and when he saw that I was in the car he quickly came back and drove me back. As the car pulled in the servants ran to open my door and they took the shopping bags upstairs as Shiv advised them. I walked in after them, but Shiv held me back. He took my hands and his hands and whispered, "Thanks for coming back home with me without any fuss and arguments. This is your house now, no matter what the circumstances were when we got married, I am your husband and you very well know how much I love you, so please just try to be happy."

I felt sorry for Shiv, after all I did he still loved and cared for me. San has gone and I don’t think so he too will forgive me for what I did. I blamed mum for it and walked quietly back to my room. I closed the door and spread all the shopping on the bed. I noticed that one of the bags a something, which I had not bought. I went through that bag carefully. It contained a red lace nightie with a note.

"Sorry for forcing you to marry me. I was not thinking right that day or the night earlier. I didn’t mean to kill that man, it just happened. You know that I have always loved you; I still love you and will love you till my last breath. If you ever think that I am good enough for you, do come to me in this honeymoon suit to my room. There is a security card in the bag which is the key for my room, and I am not far from your room, I am just opposite your room."

I picked the bag placed everything back into it and threw it in the cupboard. I didn’t want anything from him, all I wanted was my life as it was three months ago in Lumley. I was too upset to eat and I knew I was getting weaker day by day. Mum ruined my life with Shiv; I kept cursing them for my miserable life. I didn’t go back to see her neither I went to see Shiv. I stayed locked up in my room all the time.

One day Shiv came to check on me, it was nearly mid day and I was still in bed. As he opened the door I quickly closed my eyes, as I didn’t want to see or talk to him. He walked to the bed and sat on it. He pulled the blanket down and said for me to stop pretending that I was asleep, as he knew I could never sleep for that long. He touched my forehead and I was burning with fever. He quickly called the doctor in and stayed in the room whole day. He was really concerned and worried about my health. He went outside with the doctor and appeared back in the room a short time later and started packing my stuff.

"What you doing, I asked him in a weak voice."

"We going for a holiday, he said. Hope you don’t mind me packing your stuff. I am just taking things which seem necessary and if you need anything else we can buy it in Switzerland."

" But I don't want to go anywhere, I said to him."

"I didn't ask you whether you want to come or no, he said firmly walking towards me, I just said we going on a holiday, whether you want to or not."

After few days of proper care I started to feel much better. Shiv decided that we had spent enough time in the hotel and that we should be going out, sight seeing. It was a terrible idea as I didn’t want to go anywhere with him. Whenever I saw him, I kept seeing the man he killed in Lumley falling before my eyes. I just hated him too much, but I felt sorry for him. If only I had been faithful to him he would have not taken that drastic step. We had lunch and were walking back to the hotel when suddenly the weather worsened. The wind picked up speed like a hurricane and huge chunks of hails came with it, damaging the shops windows and car before our eyes. Shiv covered me with his body so that I didn’t get injured and we got in a tram to avoid the weather. The tram was full of people and more people kept pushing in, just to get out of the main streets.

In the tram there was hardly any space to breath. I was pushed close to Shiv. When I looked up I was basically stuck to him. I felt weird, actually very weird and my heart was pumping very vigorously. I tried not to look at him, but when the tram moved I nearly fell and to avoid falling I held onto his woollen jacket. As I was pushed further my arms went around him, but I looked down at our shoes. He kissed me on my forehead and a wonderful sensation ran through my body, I managed to give a quick glance at him and tightened my grip on him. He held onto the handrail above with one hand and with the other he pulled me closer. For once he giggled, "I am not eating you am I, he said. Wonder why your heart is beating so fast? I ignored him and just waited for our stop to come. He pulled me closer as a strong gust of wind hit hard and everyone yelled as if the tram was about to be blown of the track.

I looked up at him, as he was tall and I only reached to his chest, and our eyes meet. I tried to look away but something stopped me and before I could know we were kissing each other passionately. When I realized where I was I slightly pushed him away and rested my head on his shoulders. I could hear his heart pumping and he was breathing heavily. It seemed we had been stuck in the tram for only few minutes but we had been there for nearly three hours. By the time we got to the hotel we were wet and shivering. I hurried into my room and pulled out the clothes and rushed to have a warm bath. I left a trail of my wet clothes on the floor. I didn’t want to come out of the hot shower but heard Shiv knocking on the door to see if I was ok.

Putting on the warm, soft and cuddly gown I noticed that I had left the door open. As I turned to close it, Shiv placed his hand between the door and the wall and I pushed the door hard, which squashed his hands. He gave a small squeak in pain and I quickly opened the door to see if he was not badly injured. I kept apologizing, as I felt really stupid for closing the door on his hands. He said he was fine but I knew he was in pain. I held tightly on his hands, didn’t know whether it was making it feel good or worse, but I thought that was the right thing to do at that time. I took him to the bathroom and held his hands under cold water and kept blowing warm air on it with my mouth. I looked up and he was smiling, that smile which I had not seen for ages and seeing his smile made me feel better. He ran his hands into my wet hair and pulled me close to his body.

He held on to me tightly and started kissing me. We kept kissing and slowly walked out of the bathroom into the room. He laid me on the bed and we made love to each other for the very first time. It was just great; his touch gave my body sensations, which he had never given before. He touched and loved me with great care and pleasure. I wasn’t scared too loose my virginity to him that night. The next day when I woke up I met a much satisfied and calmer Shiv next to me. He kept apologizing for his behaviour on our wedding and for calling me a ****.

Today, five years after our wedding, I am sitting at our home looking outside through clear glass. We are no longer live in the bulletproof room or in the house surrounded by the security guards. We are in our own house, which is filled with love and not fear. I am waiting for Shiv to come back from work. The phone rings and I get up to answer. I hear a familiar voice, it’s me San, it’s San. Just than the door opens and I see Shiv standing with balloons, bears and flowers. He is not saying anything as he is holding the strings that are tied to the balloons with his teeth. "Sorry I think you got the wrong number sir, I said to him and placed the phone down. I run to Shiv and as he kisses me the balloons fly in the room. He jumps and dances around with excitement and shouts "I will be a father soon, in the next 6 months I will be a father’. He kisses me over and over again and keeps saying he loves me. I kiss him back and tell him, I love you too and heaps.