Metamorphosis

He wakes up everyday, involving himself in the same endless routine. When he looks into the mirror he sees something else. It's not his normal human face he sees. It's like a plastic mask covering what used to be. Almost like an outer covering. Something protecting what is trapped beneath the surface.

He fell in love with a woman not long ago. She quickly became all he knew. Everything he did, everything he thought about was that girl. Before this girl his life was somewhat dull. But after meeting her things changed for the better, or so he thought. But after months of what seemed like heaven to him he began to realize that this girl didn't seem to have the same deep feelings as he had for her. He proclaimed his love to her several times. But she never gave him the response he wanted back. So, in time he eventually faded away from her, telling her to disappear out of his life forever.

But when she was gone he flew into a spiraled depression. Without her impacting his life anymore he didn't know what to do. He began to lose his mind. The friends he had didn't really matter to him anymore. His biggest problem was that he couldn't and didn't want to move on. He needed to stay here frozen in time. But this decision had many consequences. The most bitter consequences. He stared in the mirror unable to tell himself, who he was. He didn't know who he was looking at anymore. Everyday he would tear at his face with his nails full of regret. Tearing everything apart because he lost all of his self-confidence.

That's when he noticed the change, metamorphosis if you will. He began to grow a new face. One that was able to sustain, to protect his insides from hurt. Not only his face changed but his personality became one without a care in the world. He built a prototype out of depression and with this prototype he grew ignorant to all the people he once cared for. Everyone grew away from him. His ignorance, his new mask of tradegy was cutting him off from everything. But this is what he wanted, was it not? Emotions now were insignificant to him. They didn't mean anything. He didn't take anything from them like he had so desperatly before. Now he would have no reason to obsess over that girl who caused him so much ruin in the past.

But yesterday I lost my best friend. He told me he couldn't deal with my new arrogance anymore. He said I have become some kind of monster. In the past a mouthful of words like that would have hurt me but I didn't feel a thing. But after he left I began to tremble with fear. I ran into the bathroom and stared intently at the mirror. I smashed it into pieces. Shards of glass fell to the floor like all of the peaceful memories that once filled my head. I began to peel off the plastic outer covering that had done such a good job of blocking everything out. Feeling of regret left me with half of the disguise hanging off my face.

I was halfway there to returning to who I once was. I resumed with the removal of my alter ego. And once it was off I felt like I had been reborn. Like I just came out of the womb ready to engage the life that had been created for me. But I stared at the mask of sorrow that lay there on the table. It frowned upon me almost dissapointed in me now. It was hard to leave it behind. It had been my perfect hideaway. I picked up the shard of glass off the floor and looked at my reflection in its metallic shine. But then I also picked up the mask and stared at them both. What would I choose? Would it be going back to the life I knew or would it be retreating back inside myself for good.

The mask called out to me. I couldn't let it down. Not after everything it had done for me. Attaching it back on the skin, I amost forgot how warm and safe it indeed felt.