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Letters from a Love: The Past |
| Written by Michelle Vaughn | |
| Friday, 04 April 2008 | |
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I sat and watched the waves roll in and out over the sand. I sat, thinking about how I came to be here in this place, at this time. It has been a long time since I thought about the past few years. It seems like not that long ago I was living in a quiet suburb. I was going to school, working, and dating. I wonder if I will ever be that happy again. Instead of being off at college with my friends, I am living a life of solitude with a child in tow. Do not get me wrong, this is the life I chose. However, I still wonder if things could have been different. What if I had never met Tony? What if I never agreed to accept the responsibility of raising a child that was not mine? Where would I be? It was three years ago when I met Tony Valen. He was every woman's dream man. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He was also quiet and mysterious, which added to his attractiveness. Tony and his daughter, Magdalena, who was three at the time, moved in next door to my parents. Soon later, I began babysitting Maggie. She was such a joy and a very easy child to take care of. I was only seventeen and I thought I knew what I wanted for my life. Tony was twenty-three when he moved in. Little did I know at the time that there would be an attraction that we would soon not be able to deny. I had been babysitting Maggie for about four months when Tony asked me to go out to dinner with him. I was not sure if I should. My apprehension was mainly due to our age difference. However, after talking to my friends, who all thought I should go, I did agree. That started our relationship that I thought would never end. For the next four months Tony, Maggie, and I spent a lot of time together. By then I had graduated high school and turned eighteen. For my birthday Tony gave me a gold locket with roses etched on it. He had placed pictures of Maggie in it for me. During this time, he never talked about his past or his childhood. The only thing that he ever said was that his mother died when he was young and that his father was not a very nice man. I did not push the issue. The summer was half over and I was leaving for college in six weeks. It was July 1st when I last saw Tony. We were sitting in his living room making plans for July 4th. Tony glanced towards the window. I turned my head to see what he was looking at when I saw someone pointing a gun out of the window of a passing car. Every thing happened so fast. I heard Tony yell for me to get down on the floor, but before I could, I heard the glass from the living room window break. I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and then the warmth from blood as I fell to the floor. I blacked out and do not remember anything that happened after that. The next thing I do remember is waking up in the hospital surrounded by my family. I asked my mother if Tony and Maggie were all right. She said they were fine and then my brother handed me a letter. It was from Tony. I asked to be left alone while I read it. I know the letter my heart.
The rest of my summer seemed to drag on. I had started college before I heard from Tony again. My brother called to tell me I had received a letter post marked from Spain. I asked him to mail it to me. When I opened it, I cried. Not only did Tony send a letter but he also enclosed a recent picture of him and Maggie at an airport. This is what the letter said:
I put the letter away and thought about where he may be. There were so many places he mentioned having been. However, those places would probably be to obvious for his father to find him. The next letter did come from a lawyer in Germany about two weeks later. I was not sure if I wanted to open it. I was trying to study for a few exams and knew his words would distract me. Therefore, I did wait for about a week before I opened it. It was hard to wait but at that point, school was important to me. I am glad that I waited because the letter was met with alarm.
After I read the letter, I started crying. I was scared that something might have happened to Tony and Maggie. I could not bare to think of never hearing from him again. I waited for about a month before I wrote back. I wanted to wait to see if I heard from him first. I decided I could not wait any longer. Here is what I wrote: Dear Tony, I did not hear back from him until just before Christmas. I was home for winter break when a package arrived. I opened the box and there was a small box inside with a letter. On the envelope was a written note that stated that it needed to be opened first. So, I opened the envelope first. My Dearest Kris, I could not believe what I read. As soon as I closed the letter, I called my friends to let them know I would go with them. I jotted a quick note off to Tony to let him know I would be going on the skiing trip. Then, there was the Christmas present. I waited until Christmas Day. When I opened the present there was a note. This note read that I could not open it until my family was present. I was puzzled. Why would he want me to open it in front of my family? I asked myself. I waited patiently for my family to gather so we could open presents. I told my family about the latest letter from Tony. My parents were happy about my chance to see him but I could see the concern on their faces. I know that they were apprehensive about me continuing this relationship with a mobster’s son. However, I did not look at him as Antonio Valentino. To me he was, and will always be, Tony Valen. After all the other presents were unwrapped, I took out Tony’s gift. I unwrapped it only to find an even smaller box with another note. I read this note aloud to my family. My Dearest Kris (I hope you never get tired of hearing that), I paused. The tears started rolling down my cheeks. I opened the present. The ring was beautiful. It was a ruby shaped as a heart with small diamonds around it. My family was in awe. None of us had ever seen anything this exquisite. I think my sisters were a little jealous. I put it right on my left ring finger. A few days later, I left with my friends on our ski trip. I was more excited about seeing Tony than I was about going to Gore Mountain. We checked into the hotel. I went to my room while everyone else hit the slopes. I was hoping that Tony would show up at the beginning of the trip and not the end. It would make for a long week if he did. It was only a matter of a couple hours when there was a knock on the door. I asked who was there. It was Tony. I opened the door and pulled him into the room. I could not believe my eyes. I just stood there looking at him. He closed the door and walked over to me. He took me in his arms and gave me a big hug. “That’s from Maggie,” he said as he stepped away. Then, he stepped back towards me and put his arms on my waist. He pulled me close and brought his lips to mine. He gave me the most passionate kiss. He had never kissed me like that before. He stopped kissing me and stepped away. He took my left hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the ring he had given to me. “That’s from me.,” he said as he sat down onto the bed. I sat down next to him. We both scooted up to the head of the bed so that our backs were supported against the wall. “We need to talk.” Tony said. I looked at him. He sounded so serious. What could he possibly be so serious about? I thought. He took my hands. “I want you to do me a favor,” he said. He continued, “Maggie needs to start school in the fall. I want her to come live with you. The constant moving around is not good for her.” “I am not sure what to say.” I said in response. “Don’t answer today. Take your time. Talk to your family, your friends. There would be some sacrifices on your part.” he added, “Let’s just enjoy the next twenty-four hours.” During that time, we talked about many things. We talked about God, the church, all the places Tony and Maggie had visited, and about school. We talked about our future. We stayed up almost all night talking. I was not sure what time I fell asleep. I woke up in the morning in Tony’s arms and to someone knocking on the door. I gently got out of the bed, trying not to wake him up. I opened the door to two of my friends standing there. They asked if I wanted to go to breakfast with them. I declined and told them that Tony was there and sleeping. They said they understood. I told them that I would meet them for dinner after Tony left. I closed the door and laid back down. It did not take me long to fall asleep again. I awoke to the smell of food. Tony was up and had ordered us room service. I sat up in the bed and watched him. I could not believe he was there. It did not take him long to notice that I was watching him. He turned around and smiled. He told me to stay in bed and he brought me over breakfast. We stayed in the room the whole day. We talked. We kissed. We cuddled. However, we did not go any further. It was important to both of us to wait. Later in the afternoon, I did ask Tony something that I had been wondering. I asked him what happened to Maggie’s mother. He got silent and sighed. Then, he told me this story. Tony met Teresa in college. He was not a born again Christian at that point in his life. They had sex and she became pregnant. They planned to get married after the baby was born. Tony’s father did not approve of the relationship. About two weeks after Maggie was born they were out taking a walk. Someone walked up and shot Teresa directly in the head. It was never investigated. That is when Tony knew he could not stay near his family. He told his father he was leaving. Tony and Maggie went on the run. Three years later, he moved in next door to me. He said that after three years he thought that maybe his father had given up. When I was shot he knew that his father had not. When Tony said it was time for him to go I started crying. It was so hard to say good-bye. At least this time I did get to say good-bye. He gave me a kiss and a big hug. I did not want him to let go. Then, he left. I stayed in my room for about an hour crying. Then, my friend Marie knocked on my door and asked if I was ready for dinner. I left the room and tried to enjoy the rest of the week.
Copyright 2008 Michelle Vaughn |
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 09 April 2008 ) |
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