What I did

Just stop now

Stop trying to find a love that doesn’t exist

Yes I admit I do have love for you

I do have fantasies of us together

But it’s all falsities my heart creates

Trying to make something happen

Something to try and heal my wounds

But in all truth

I never want the wounds to heal

That would mean giving up everything

I would no longer be strong

No longer be myself

I would no longer be able to hold back the tears

I’ll say it once more

Just stop trying to make something real

I’m trying not to corrupt you with it

Break you down

So the only way I knew to keep you away….

The only way was to break your heart

I am not sorry for what I did

It had to be done

Otherwise my pain would consume you

And slowly, painfully, you would stop loving me

I kept you away the only way I knew how

And somehow I can’t get rid of this feeling

In not only my heart but my very soul

It tells me I can never forget what I did