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The inky blackness of the night blanketed all that was around. Icy fingers of mist weaved throughout the knotted trees of the forest ahead. The minds eye plaid tricks spot lighting deadly figures and beasts in the thick darkness. The only savior in the night was the flickering haven of the torchlight or at least some in the traveling troupe thought.

   It was small party. I group full of distrust, anger, love, disbelief and other rolling emotions that can never truly be hidden in situations such of these. Men and women alike looked warily ahead as the forest seemed to move closer around them. The trees looming over head became more sinister in appearance with every step they took. The torch light reflected orbs of translucent light that watched every move the group made, every step they took, every breath that sighed from their lungs and they lay in  wait for one to wander from the light.

   The whispered whimpers of a child’s fear was sympathized by many, heard by all andanticipated by those out side their glowing haven.

   “ Shut the child up!”

  “SHHH,Roderick you’re just making it worse.”

“ The child has a right to fear. We all do.”

 “ This is futile, we are lost.”

   With that, rising panic bubbled with in the group. The idea of being lost in this parallel to hell was unconceivable.  Lost,the very word sent shivers down the spine. The very idea brought terror to the heart.

  A ghastly howl went up in the night and the first rumbling of thunder penetrated the air. Fear swept through the group like fire to dry kindling....

writers bloke..help? 

Keyword: darkness

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Comments (8)

Posted by truthfullies 2008-03-29 23:20:39 completely random but... is your spacebar brokened too? Mine's broken and its really annoying having to pressing the spacebar two times HAHA um...i think plaied should be played? I'm not sure but so far, sounds good! + Report this comment
Posted by celtic1888 2008-03-30 06:12:54 ----- Quite hard to read due to the missing spaces but seems a decent enough start. Dont understand "writers bloke-help?", are you asking for some help with the rest of the story? + Report this comment
Posted by grl next dr18 2008-03-30 19:21:35 hi yes any help with teh story or ideas in how people think it should go. I wrote that page almost a year ago now and still have no idea where i am going with it. i greatly appreciate suggestions + Report this comment
Posted by celtic1888 2008-03-31 03:27:33 --- i think the best way forward would be to expalain where they are going, what is the danger and why they must risk it. It could be famine has spread over the land and due to hunger they must get to the coast or wherever. The danger could be some people have turned to eating others just to survive and this group is being hunted. This is just my opinion and may be a bit much but hopefully it will you some ideas + Report this comment
Posted by sweetsmaybrey 2008-04-04 18:04:26 .... my suggestion: perhaps a beast appears and spooks the group, some fall into hell, the others make it to the light, which is really a campfire where other beasts are roasting previous travelers + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-04-05 20:44:50 .... i think this is good just as it is. you can leave it open to imagination. + Report this comment
Posted by celtic1888 2008-04-06 07:08:27 ---- Its a lot better now you have edited it, well done. + Report this comment
Posted by thirteen 2008-04-06 07:11:36 .... Nicely wrote, great descriptions. + Report this comment

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