If I could turn back time

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Written by john mccuaig
Monday, 24 March 2008

Everyone has regrets, Paul has more than most. Two failed marriages and a dead end job to name just two. One night as he makes his way through his now daily bottle of vodka he tries to work out where it all went wrong. As he stares into another empty glass his mind drifts back twenty years to his room at university.

"Come on Paul, put those bloody books down and let's get moving!" beamed Barry, standing at the doorway with a crate of beer. Paul and Barry had been best mates since the first week at uni. "Okay, okay" smirks Paul. As he gets up from his desk he knows he needs to finish this history essay but it would now have to wait until the morning.

"You're going to get me in a lot of trouble matey; if my work isn't in by tomorrow afternoon the Professor will fail me." Paul almost pleads as they walk down the stairwell. Barry laughs "Chill out. You're only young once man. There will be plenty of time later to be boring."

They hit the party when it's in full swing. Its Claire's 21^st birthday and her flat is packed out. They share two classes at Uni, Paul has a little thing for her but he's so shy he has never spoke a word to her. He guesses that she doesn't even know his name.

"Hi Paul," its Claire, "Glad you could make it." Paul is taken aback and his shyness quickly kicks in. "Thanks Claire, err.. great party you have here." She smiled at him; she thinks his shyness is cute.

Claire moves off to mingle with her other guests and Barry races over to Paul, "I think you're in there mate. Now get back over and use your charm." Paul doesn't know if Barry is serious or just making fun of him, but he doesn't care. He is just too scared to make that move.

Barry looks at Paul knowingly, "Here, get some of these down your neck." He hands over a six pack of beer. "A little bit of Dutch courage is required I think."

Barry is right and Paul knows it. He grabs the beer and wolfs the first down in a flash. The next few don't take too long either, they work and Paul is ready. He slightly staggers over to Claire and starts a slurred conversation. They hit it off, she is taken by his new found, alcohol induced, confidence. He feels totally at ease, more so with each mouthful of drink.

"Come on," she takes his hand and they go up the stairs. They enter her bedroom, she sits him on the bed then opens her bedside cabinet drawer. She removes a bag with several wrapped up bits of paper inside. "My friend got these for the party, its Coke, I've always wanted to give it a go. Do you fancy some?" At first Paul was shocked, he wasn't into drugs, but he was caught up in so much euphoria his inhabitations were very short lived.

They both had a couple of lines each. The combinations of the drink, drugs and the fun of each others company sent them into heaven. Before they knew it they were wrapped around each other, naked in the bed and exploring each others bodies.

Paul awoke with the worst headache of his life, every other part of his body also felt terrible. He looked at Claire asleep beside him, smiled to himself and settled back down but then shot up looking for the time. It was 12:36, his essay was due in less than half an hour and it wasn't even finished.

He raced back to his room, quickly scribbled down some rubbish to bulk up his essay and set off to the Professors room.

By the time he had done this he was nearly two hours late. The Professor looked at Paul, flicked through the essay and seemed to pay particular attention to the last few pages.

"Paul, you disappoint me again," the professor sighed "This attempt is a disgrace, I cannot let this continue. You are suspended for a month. Hopefully you can use this time to have a think about your future."

Paul was shocked. He was saying to himself that this could never happen again, he needed to finally get his act together.

Over the next month he saw Claire a few more times, they got on okay but couldn't recapture that night. Then one night he got a call from Claire saying that she must see him straight away. He hurried over and Claire got him to sit down when he arrived.

"Paul, we have a problem. I'm pregnant, it must have been that first night, we were so out of it we didn't use any protection. Shit, what the hell are we going to do?"

After much discussion and soul searching they decided to keep the baby and get married so they were together to raise it. Paul would leave Uni for now to work to get some money. Claire would stay on as that was easier and when she graduated and got a decent job Paul could return and finish his degree.

They only stayed together for just over two years. The pressure of having the baby was too high for the little love that they had together. They had a daughter, Jenny, which Paul has not seen for 15 years. Claire had since remarried and made it clear she wanted her new husband to bring up the child. Paul thought at the time that would be the best for his Jenny.

Paul never got to go back to Uni, when Claire left he had to continue to work to pay for his food and rent. He had no impulse to succeed at any of the jobs he had done over these years. And succeed he did not.

So Paul fills up his glass once again with vodka. He vividly remembers accepting the invite to the party instead of doing his essay.

He mutters to himself "If I could turn back time..."

Published in Miscellaneous Stories

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Comments (5)

Posted by R.E.Potter
03-24-2008 07:39,

,,,
hmmm, a month off from a bad essay,,in my day you would just get a bad grade. Fun story to read through however....and don't we all just wish we could go back in time.

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