Hello Dr. Zoidberg,
Well you see, it started five years ago: I had this infatuation with Leela (Especially since Katey S. did her voice, and I always had a thing for Peg Bundy), and that's what started my viewing of the show that you lead, with several others as ''Fillers.''
Anyway, to get to the point, about two years ago, I was with this one inferior-to-Leela girl, and well, I don't expect anyone to be 50% of what L is, but this girl couldn't even get me off of her when I pressed my body against her in my car - whispering threats about how I was going to rape her, get her pregnant, and then abort the baby myself. I figured, Okay Georgie, you tell her this, she's going to be like that lady who lifted the tractor to save her daughter. She'd get a burst of energy in this time of panic, in need of it. I had no intention of actually doing anything to her, I just wanted to get that spark in hopes that we'd both get turned on by that whole ''I'm going to rape you, but then you beat me up and now you can dominate me'' deal, figured she'd enjoy the power. I have definitely been waiting for a woman to over-power me for a long, long time! Alas, she couldn't even get her 5in pump to kick me in the balls... So, I closed my eyes, thought about that time my uncle raped me in the bathtub, and then changed the channel to futurama, when Leela was in bed and Zap snuck in with her, and she woke up and kicked him out of bed, soooo hoootttt!!!! And bam! Here I was, raping a girl I had pictured to be a willing Turanga Leela, and when all was said and done, I had committed a murder! But it didn't end there....
You see, to help achieve a higher climax, I bought a mail-order Leela mask, and bought those pants and a similar kind of shirt to have my next fill-in to wear. I'm not going to get into how I got these women I barely knew to do such a thing, let's just say it involved a lot of weed, and a fake acid trip (x3), and plenty of rope (had to position the mask on right).
So, Dr.Z, what do I do? How do I overcome this Leela fetish?
Copyright 2008 Thomas S. Wolansky
|
via Email
