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ChoicesThis story may contain adult content. |
| Written by Zenine Roberts | |
| Tuesday, 18 March 2008 | |
The needle was going strait for a vein in my left arm, I am not at a doctors office, unless you consider a run-down single room apartment in the middle of New York is a doctors office. The needle was full of heroin 2 minutes ago. I knew it was a bad habbit but for some reason I started drugs at age 11 and have still done it for another 6 years to date. This put my life down the drain, at the butt of society. In five minutes i was in lala land where all was at peace, nothing mattered, no responsibilty, morals, and no burdens of past choices bearing me down. After what felt like 5 days I was brought back to reality and all of my happiness turned to depression and hate of myself. I tried the lottery again and again. It made me hooked onto gambling as if it were drugs, well better than drugs because the lottery had rewards rather than drugs. Week after week I would lose. After 3 months of gambling I stopped due to constant anger. One year passed by and I bearly live through it with the low wage job and the soup kitchen got less donors. So I try again, the numbers are....... three ........... seven ............. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Twenty..................................................................... three. I slammed my hands to the desk and bought another. The numbers were .................................... THREE! ...................... ..................... ..................... ..................... SEVEN ............................................. .............................................. ....................... ....................... ....................... TWENTY! .................................. ................................. ......................................... ......................................... ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "I.....I....I......wuh....wuh...nuh...nuh." "I WON! I WON! I WON!" I souted to the skies! Then it hit me, what to do with all this money.......... Go back to school! And thats what I did. Put it in a bank and re-applied for high school. Though it was kind of weird being the oldest person in the class and the tallest, and also the only one who had lost their virginity. Also another thing that I found weird was that the student teacher, I bangad that chick twenty to thirty times. She was smoking hott! I mean like all the other dudes told me that if they had to lose their virginty to some one they knew it would be her. When I told them what I did to this chick all they said was. "Daaaammmmmmmnnnnnnnnn!", "wooooooh", or "Nice choice, man". Besides that all they did was worship me and my awesomenes. I majored in math and science. School work was tough espicialy after five years of no school. So I stayed after school for tutoring. I was finaly putting my life together, for once since i did heroin and other unnamed drugs. After high school I went to collage to become an enginer. Yet again I faced the same differnces in collage as I did in high school. When I graduated I felt sad because everyone else went home to their parents to have a party but I had neither. My dad died of overdose and my mom left me at age 14, thus making me a oprhan of the street and I lived in uninhabited apartment buildingsto be torn down in a couple years. I hadenough money to throw a "party, or as it felt to m. I went out bought some whiskey and a large cupcake and enjoied with the rats in my crappy apartment. I got a jod as a train enginer and I brought me to new places, ones that I dreamed about in my bed like thing. I had enough money to buy an actual apartment, not like my piece of crap I used to live in. My choices have brought me back to living. My four room apartment was like heaven to me, seriously I didnt only have a bed and a toilet, I had a bedroom, bathroom, a kitchen, and even a living room! I never had anything like it, I could actualy cook food! Also I had an entire room to use the bathroom in! I was living the life in this place, this is a symbol my life is now better than it was before. So one day I go back to my old apartment and see somthing, it hasnt changed a bit. Well except for the new dust and older stuff in general. So I see my gun and grab it I havent held this eleven years. "Wow, Nothings happened' But one thing caught my eye, a broken needle, I go over to examine it and I think I have thepower to stay off drugs. So I went into an alley and found a drug dealer and bought some heroin and a needle and inject my left arm. This choice was my worst one yet and I became hooked, got evicted and moved back to my pile of crap apartmant and back on drugs. Wow I hate myself I thought, Until I got a new job at the gas station. Copyright 2008 Zenine Roberts |
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