|
|
|
The Dealership |
| Written by Carey Joyce | |
| Monday, 17 March 2008 | |
|
Share it:      “Please, have a seat” The Salesman points towards the chairs across from his desk.“Ok, you’ve decided to purchase a new TR9 model, good choice, excellent performance and mileage, now we just need to select an insurance plan” I’m confused.
-I thought I purchased insurance myself, I already have a provider for my current vehicle. “Oh no sir, this is different. These are insurance options from the manufacturer, you’ll still need conventional insurance.” I’m still confused. I wait patiently. The salesman sorts papers on his desk and retrieves a folder from a filing cabinet behind him.“Ok, the first and our most popular option is the a101 plan. It covers all physical and mental damage if something happens while driving the vehicle. This does not guarantee you against such damage nor does it repair such damage, it only insures that you will be taken care of.” Now I’m really confused. -So what does that mean exactly? The manufacturer will pay my medical bills? “No sir, your conventional insurance should cover that, it means you will be ok, it gives you peace of mind” This must be some kind of practical joke.-But how? They’ll send me money if I can’t work? Pay my other bills? Food stamps? What? “I understand your skepticism sir, no, nothing like that. I can’t really answer that question. It only guarantees your peace of mind” -Well surely there is something in the contract that states what they do? This doesn’t sound like something I need. “No sir, there are no details really, you just have to trust they will follow through. And I don’t think you want to pass on this, almost all of our customers choose one of these plans, it’s the standard thing to do” -And what does this cost? “Well, there are no fixed fees, only certain guidelines and rules you must follow while driving to qualify. You also must join the manufacturer’s auto-club, they meet once a week.” I can’t believe this guy is serious.-This sounds crazy, so it doesn’t cost anything but I have to follow their driving rules? “Well, it’s not exactly free, the auto-club does expect membership dues on a weekly basis, the guidelines say you must pay what you can. Most of our customers pay 5-10% of their net income. But again, there is no real enforcement of this, it’s just a guideline. And as far as the rules, it’s basically the same as current traffic laws, you know, no speeding, wear your seatbelt, that kind of thing. ” The salesman smiles. He seems very pleased with himself. He must sell these plans often.-So if I join the club but never pay they won’t kick me out? “Not necessarily, you can keep attending the meetings but you may lose your benefits.” -I don’t understand this, I can join but don’t have to pay. But if I don’t pay I may not qualify if something happens. “Right, though we don’t really know for sure. We don’t interact with the customers after this process, and I haven’t heard anything about what might happen” -And what if I break the rules? Do they kick me out then? “Not quite, no, you can retain your membership. Though you are expected to notify the club of any rules violation.” -Why? So they can tell the manufacturer to cancel my benefits? “No, the manufacturer will never cancel your benefits as long as you commit to the plan.” -Ok, so I’m supposed to follow these driving rules though they are not monitored or enforced. If I break the rules I report that to the club. But this doesn’t necessarily mean I will lose my benefits. “Yes something like that, we don’t really know for sure whether you can or will lose your benefits from breaking the driving rules. Only that you must follow them and report any infractions to the club. The club can also assist in helping you follow the rules.” -But you just said the manufacturer will never cancel my benefits. “Sir, please, I know this might sound confusing but try to understand. If you commit to the plan you are expected to follow the driving guidelines, attend the weekly meetings, and pay a weekly fee” I am losing my patience.-What fee! You said there is no real fee only a guideline! And why would I follow these rules if they aren’t enforced? And why would I ever admit to breaking them! “Ok, calm down please, maybe this plan isn’t for you. We do have a very similar plan, the a203. It is not as popular but does require that you follow the rules. If you break them you can lose your benefits. Though you can report infractions to the club and as long as you commit to not breaking them again they will be taken from your record.” -But of course they don’t really know if I break them. “Not exactly, the manufacturer does claim to monitor you on this plan. Though we don’t really know how. If you fail to report infractions to the club for dismissal you will lose your benefits.” Buying a car should not be this complicated.-Ok, this is ridiculous, I don’t want either of these plans. Can I just buy the car and leave please? The Salesman looks desperate.“But sir, we have dozens of other plans! I’m sure we can find one that fits” -Are they similar to these two? “Well, yes, but each has unique requirements and some offer better benefits” -But of course, nothing is monitored, there are no required fees, and you don’t even know what they do or if they do anything at all when something happens He stares at me blankly. I don’t think he knows what to say. He begins to stutter.“Well, I suppose so, but surely you will choose one! What will happen to you if you don’t have one of these plans! I roll my eyes and get up to leave.-I don’t know, and you don’t know. And even if I buy one of these ridiculous plans you still don’t know! Will you please just give me my paperwork! His face turns red and he stops making eye contact. He hands me a small stack of papers. I turn to leave and start walking out. I approach my new car as he runs out after me.“Sir! Please! You must select a plan! You can’t just drive a new car without some kind of assurance that you will be ok!” I ignore him and drive off. I look into the rearview as I’m exiting the lot, the salesman is looking at me with one hand on his head. He looks very anxious and upset. I drive off and look back one more time, the salesman is leading a young couple back to his office, a huge smile on his face.Copyright 2008 Carey Joyce |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
via Email
